Of Invitations and Special Days
So I hear the invitations have gone out for your "Big Day." Congratulations to you, as I do wish you the best. I am somewhat sad I was not invited. I mean, we did have such a history, you and I, did we not? I feel slighted, somehow. It is within my power to know when, and where, this is. I could just . . . well, you know. I do so adore being kept in the loop. Don't you? It has ever been my biggest advantage. And you know what? I never had to stalk even a single person to get my information. Never had to follow their cars, never had to drive around their house. Never sent a relative into anyone's job with a fake ass story to try to get some shred of news. Never have I pulled up next to anyone in my car and snapped surreptitious photos of them and drove off. Not once, ever. But far be it from me to undermine your methods, despite how often you get caught. (Or chased.)
There are some things I wonder. Like, for instance, will your other personality be there? Can you have this ceremony outdoors, as I have been told by you personally that sunlight causes you to smoke and burn? (quite common for your kind though.) Will Charlie attend? Wait, that's right. That figment was disproved by my good friend Action Hank some years ago. My mistake. I wholly appologize. How about your would-be rapist? Seen him lately? You know, the one Charlie rescued you from? But wait, if Charlie isn't real . . . nah, too much to go into. How about the 7 kids you were supposed to have with my other good friend Ferenczy in the future? Will they be invited? Somehow I doubt that. Even though we've both spoken to one of your "daughters" when she time travelled into your body. (Laugh it up folks - this shit's too strange to make up.) They're not coming either you say? Hmm. Interesting. How about your ex, the one you claimed sent you a box of bees in the mail? I wonder.
For all the harm you have caused me and mine in the past . . . for all the lies, half-truths, and outright slander against them . . . for all your HATE . . . for all your stalking, following, watching, and trespassing. For all of that I should go out of my way just once and avenge myself against you. Just once. With a word, you know, that day could look like Barrow, Alaska on the first day of Night. Me and mine, head to toe in deepest black, wading into the crowd pale and grinning like wolves. How many could I gather for such a thing, you ask? Well, I never counted really. But honestly . . .
. . . how many enemies could you have made, after all?
I hope the cake is good. One of these things without a good cake is just not worth attending.
There are some things I wonder. Like, for instance, will your other personality be there? Can you have this ceremony outdoors, as I have been told by you personally that sunlight causes you to smoke and burn? (quite common for your kind though.) Will Charlie attend? Wait, that's right. That figment was disproved by my good friend Action Hank some years ago. My mistake. I wholly appologize. How about your would-be rapist? Seen him lately? You know, the one Charlie rescued you from? But wait, if Charlie isn't real . . . nah, too much to go into. How about the 7 kids you were supposed to have with my other good friend Ferenczy in the future? Will they be invited? Somehow I doubt that. Even though we've both spoken to one of your "daughters" when she time travelled into your body. (Laugh it up folks - this shit's too strange to make up.) They're not coming either you say? Hmm. Interesting. How about your ex, the one you claimed sent you a box of bees in the mail? I wonder.
For all the harm you have caused me and mine in the past . . . for all the lies, half-truths, and outright slander against them . . . for all your HATE . . . for all your stalking, following, watching, and trespassing. For all of that I should go out of my way just once and avenge myself against you. Just once. With a word, you know, that day could look like Barrow, Alaska on the first day of Night. Me and mine, head to toe in deepest black, wading into the crowd pale and grinning like wolves. How many could I gather for such a thing, you ask? Well, I never counted really. But honestly . . .
. . . how many enemies could you have made, after all?
I hope the cake is good. One of these things without a good cake is just not worth attending.