And I thought quantum mechanics was bad....
Organic Chemistry is killing me. I hate this stuff, I have to get up at 6am every day and I have tons of boooooooring work to do. Ugh, I give a big round of applause for people who do this each and every day. In the end, I'd be too afraid I'd kill myself on accident.
Last night I almost made the biggest mistake in my life. I was talking with my boyfriend and convinced myself I wanted to go to graduate school rather than medical school, so I dropped my lab class and added another one. The moment I submitted the drop, I freaked out and felt like I had just killed someone. I tried re-enrolling in the class but the enrollment was closed and I was panicking. It was really bad and the stress from classes has messed up my stomach again so I had to stop doing work at 2:20am because all I wanted to do was throw-up. So I tried sleeping and told myself everything was going to be fine and I would just lie tomorrow and say I accidentally dropped the class. I'm waiting for the lady in charge of enrollment to come back from lunch, and I don't think there will be too much of a problem to get back in to the class. The wait-lists have been closed and I've already turned in lab work and completed 2 labs.
So for me, that was my wake-up call that despite how much I loathe medical school, it's where I belong and it's what I really want to do. It doesn't mean I'm going to study for quizzes or have this new zest for studying organic chemistry, it just means, I'll keep on going and do my best to do as much work as I can without messing up my stomach too much.
This is such a pain because the stress really is killing my stomach. For the past few weeks I wake up with a stomach ache that won't go away till I eat something. In fact, if I hold off eating, the stomach ache gets worse till it bothers me so much I just go eat. My eyes look terrible too, they are both really dry and irritated. It's such a pain to sometimes not be able to wear contacts.
And on top of it all, I miss my boyfriend soooooo much. I don't know how I'll be able to stand another 4 months of this. I barely made it through this past month. There is now no question in my mind that as much of next summer and winter I will be spending it in Brazil. I'll be away from my family who always complains about me being serious about someone who lives so far away. And, I'll be able to be around him and feel so much better. It's horrible to say, but even my friends can't make me very happy anymore. Nothing is ever really fun anymore.
*sigh* I'm going to eat some of the white bread I brought with me. After last night, I figured I should be nice on my stomach and give it something that's easy to digest.
Last night I almost made the biggest mistake in my life. I was talking with my boyfriend and convinced myself I wanted to go to graduate school rather than medical school, so I dropped my lab class and added another one. The moment I submitted the drop, I freaked out and felt like I had just killed someone. I tried re-enrolling in the class but the enrollment was closed and I was panicking. It was really bad and the stress from classes has messed up my stomach again so I had to stop doing work at 2:20am because all I wanted to do was throw-up. So I tried sleeping and told myself everything was going to be fine and I would just lie tomorrow and say I accidentally dropped the class. I'm waiting for the lady in charge of enrollment to come back from lunch, and I don't think there will be too much of a problem to get back in to the class. The wait-lists have been closed and I've already turned in lab work and completed 2 labs.
So for me, that was my wake-up call that despite how much I loathe medical school, it's where I belong and it's what I really want to do. It doesn't mean I'm going to study for quizzes or have this new zest for studying organic chemistry, it just means, I'll keep on going and do my best to do as much work as I can without messing up my stomach too much.
This is such a pain because the stress really is killing my stomach. For the past few weeks I wake up with a stomach ache that won't go away till I eat something. In fact, if I hold off eating, the stomach ache gets worse till it bothers me so much I just go eat. My eyes look terrible too, they are both really dry and irritated. It's such a pain to sometimes not be able to wear contacts.
And on top of it all, I miss my boyfriend soooooo much. I don't know how I'll be able to stand another 4 months of this. I barely made it through this past month. There is now no question in my mind that as much of next summer and winter I will be spending it in Brazil. I'll be away from my family who always complains about me being serious about someone who lives so far away. And, I'll be able to be around him and feel so much better. It's horrible to say, but even my friends can't make me very happy anymore. Nothing is ever really fun anymore.
*sigh* I'm going to eat some of the white bread I brought with me. After last night, I figured I should be nice on my stomach and give it something that's easy to digest.