176: Forward, March!
Well, got hooked up with work starting tomorrow.
will be working for the old man, since he messed up his hand.
just this week, hopefully i can stretch it out longer, but dad pays well, so i can pay viper for staying on his couch, and hopefully squirrel away some extra cash for my little syn and her boy.
who apparently are getting here later this week... hopefully they'll be able to find shelter while i work.
4 days until 6 months.
Hempfest was good. i got a lot of sun and heat. got high. flirted with really hot hippie chicks. took a couple trips down memory lane....
but otherwise it was one of those years where i saw hardly anyone i knew.
which was depressing.
If I can get enough cash in my pocket, i might get a bit fancy about getting more cash.
I'd like to just use all my money to get a place for me and my girl and her son... but unfortunately i do have debts i need to pay off if i want to continue having a back-up plan.
I can't believe how very few real friends i have. It's really depressing. I used to have a lot of people who i thought were my friends... but they weren't. i used to have people who i thought i loved and cared for... but i don't. they were just around for the booze and the parties... and now i feel so alone...
and it's weird who's turned out to be my real friends... a few people i expected... but there have been a couple i didn't think would want to understand what i'm going through...
although, watching the Dragon's roommate stumble and try to not be embarrassed when she found out i'm a recoverinng alcoholic was really funny.... it was about the only moment she seemed attractive... she went to hand me the bottle of wine and i shook my head and she looked at the Dragon, "Oh, shit! Should I not be drinking this infront of him?".... and i just started laughing... and then encouraged them to go ahead and drink.
until that moment, she was kind of really ... well... stuck up and bitchy. and mildly insulting. so it was nice to see her hardcore exterior get a major crack in its finish.... very... um... Humane.
I guess I'm kinda interested in hanging out with her again.. just to see how much more i can fuck up her little pre-concieved notions... and believe me, True Believers... it's not her looks. I tried, but could not find anything about her attractive.
And I could've done without the half hour car ride, listening to shitty hip hop, and her bitching about the doughnut she was stuffing her face with...
I understand women are built internally to worry about their weight and what-not... but could ya'll keep it INTERNAL?? i don't really care how many calories you've had or need, or don't want, or anything like that... it's like finding out your supermodel girlfriend isn't very hygenic.
really, i didn't need to know. i feel dumber having had to listen.
i would've rather liked to have had the music turned down, so i could talk to my packmate... not that she talks to me. i dunno... i feel like she's distanced herself from me, at a time when i really need my packmates. especially since teh Tiger broke up with me...
I would've liked 10 minutes alone to have a real conversation with her... Both times I've tried to hang out with JUST her... there's been someone else around...
does she realize there are things i want to talk to her about? Does she realize that I'm worried about our relationship?? does she realize that i don't want to broadcast these things infront of all her misshappened friends?
It's not their business. And it's not yours, either True believers. I'm just hoping that if i can get it out there, she might open her eyes and realize i really need her support. I could use someone in my life right now (other than my family) that loves me...
ANYHOW!!! WORK! tomorrow... and all this week. sex, this weekend (YAY!)
maybe i'll have enough money to find someone to babysit, so i can take grr' to the club. and then do her in an alley.. yeeeaaaah baby!
ok. i'm outtie.
peas.
will be working for the old man, since he messed up his hand.
just this week, hopefully i can stretch it out longer, but dad pays well, so i can pay viper for staying on his couch, and hopefully squirrel away some extra cash for my little syn and her boy.
who apparently are getting here later this week... hopefully they'll be able to find shelter while i work.
4 days until 6 months.
Hempfest was good. i got a lot of sun and heat. got high. flirted with really hot hippie chicks. took a couple trips down memory lane....
but otherwise it was one of those years where i saw hardly anyone i knew.
which was depressing.
If I can get enough cash in my pocket, i might get a bit fancy about getting more cash.
I'd like to just use all my money to get a place for me and my girl and her son... but unfortunately i do have debts i need to pay off if i want to continue having a back-up plan.
I can't believe how very few real friends i have. It's really depressing. I used to have a lot of people who i thought were my friends... but they weren't. i used to have people who i thought i loved and cared for... but i don't. they were just around for the booze and the parties... and now i feel so alone...
and it's weird who's turned out to be my real friends... a few people i expected... but there have been a couple i didn't think would want to understand what i'm going through...
although, watching the Dragon's roommate stumble and try to not be embarrassed when she found out i'm a recoverinng alcoholic was really funny.... it was about the only moment she seemed attractive... she went to hand me the bottle of wine and i shook my head and she looked at the Dragon, "Oh, shit! Should I not be drinking this infront of him?".... and i just started laughing... and then encouraged them to go ahead and drink.
until that moment, she was kind of really ... well... stuck up and bitchy. and mildly insulting. so it was nice to see her hardcore exterior get a major crack in its finish.... very... um... Humane.
I guess I'm kinda interested in hanging out with her again.. just to see how much more i can fuck up her little pre-concieved notions... and believe me, True Believers... it's not her looks. I tried, but could not find anything about her attractive.
And I could've done without the half hour car ride, listening to shitty hip hop, and her bitching about the doughnut she was stuffing her face with...
I understand women are built internally to worry about their weight and what-not... but could ya'll keep it INTERNAL?? i don't really care how many calories you've had or need, or don't want, or anything like that... it's like finding out your supermodel girlfriend isn't very hygenic.
really, i didn't need to know. i feel dumber having had to listen.
i would've rather liked to have had the music turned down, so i could talk to my packmate... not that she talks to me. i dunno... i feel like she's distanced herself from me, at a time when i really need my packmates. especially since teh Tiger broke up with me...
I would've liked 10 minutes alone to have a real conversation with her... Both times I've tried to hang out with JUST her... there's been someone else around...
does she realize there are things i want to talk to her about? Does she realize that I'm worried about our relationship?? does she realize that i don't want to broadcast these things infront of all her misshappened friends?
It's not their business. And it's not yours, either True believers. I'm just hoping that if i can get it out there, she might open her eyes and realize i really need her support. I could use someone in my life right now (other than my family) that loves me...
ANYHOW!!! WORK! tomorrow... and all this week. sex, this weekend (YAY!)
maybe i'll have enough money to find someone to babysit, so i can take grr' to the club. and then do her in an alley.. yeeeaaaah baby!
ok. i'm outtie.
peas.