I won...

[dark_hyde]

...everything I possibly could have won today.

Defeated my fears, smashed those doubts, endured another panic attack, rode the horse, gained the owner's approval, and officially agreed on sharing his horse.

Yes, starting next week I'll be sharing the horse! I did it! :D

This past week's misery and suffering, the tears, fears, doubts, panic attacks and the endless restlessness... I fought through all of it to mount this horse. And the ride I got made it all worth it.

The horse is fabulous. I had a blast riding him.

Though I was nervous, and he was nervous, we quickly managed to work through that until all that was left was a perfect ride. He is fast and full of energy, but always listens closely and behaves appropriately. He responds well to commands, is eager to work, and simply wonderful to ride.

Riding him eased my mind, lifted my spirits and made me feel incredibly happy.

The owner was happy with my riding and told me I'm good at it.

I'm good.

You know, when I was riding, circling around the owner so he could watch me and assess my skills, and he said "You're really good", I was so happy and relieved, I could have cried.

I'm good enough.

You can go fuck yourselves, doubts and fears.