(no subject)
ok so I'm still not sure what the hell is going on. I am trying the whole stress managment, I am trying the relaxation, and I know it's not supposed to work overnight but it seems like there's always something new everyday that makes me more and more upset. Ok today for example I look at the newest schedule that hasn't been posted yet, and I'm scheduled two 7-4's and three 7-3's. Ok well this wouldn't be so bad had I not gone out of my way to go to Scott and explain to him that I hate opening, and it's not just because I like to go out and party it's more to do with the fact that I can't sleep at night, and that for whatever reason no matter how tired I am I don't fall asleep for hours. So he kinda made fun of me and I explained that it was serious and that it's not fair to make me do it all the time just because I'm dependable. Tonight after I saw it he just told me that I can do it and just to suck it up.
Fuck him, I'm sorry maybe he has the same problem, but I can't just make myself sleep and if I worry about it it makes it ten times worse, I mean opening a couple of times is one thing, doing it all week is another. I can't take anything, for obvious reasons, and it just seems mean that he did this to me. Maybe it was a mistake, but it seems kind of stupid to make the girl who is freaking out all the time, can't sleep, and is trying to fix things with professional help. Why would anyone do that...just being an asshole.
Fuck him, I'm sorry maybe he has the same problem, but I can't just make myself sleep and if I worry about it it makes it ten times worse, I mean opening a couple of times is one thing, doing it all week is another. I can't take anything, for obvious reasons, and it just seems mean that he did this to me. Maybe it was a mistake, but it seems kind of stupid to make the girl who is freaking out all the time, can't sleep, and is trying to fix things with professional help. Why would anyone do that...just being an asshole.