(no subject)
So suddenly I feel like there's a lot of stuff going on in my life and I'm not doing anything about any of it. I know that's not really true, not 100% true, but that's how it starts, then I'll start freaking out, then I'll get depressed because I can't do anything blah blah blah. So I'm making lots of lists and I'm going to get things done, I'm going to take care of things from now on, because that's what I need to do.
I'm not pyscho, I mean I've gone through some times where I might have been a little bit that way, but I don't think I am. I think before I was looking for people to fix me, and all they did was make it worse.
I feel like things in the past were a lot different for me, I feel capable of anything right now, walmart is like a curse, but by April I don't plan to be employed there, not sure where I'll be working, or living, or anything, but I don't really care, because I know I won't be any worse off than I am right now, not that I'm bad off, I'm very well off at the moment.
I just feel like my head is just a little out of control and I have to get it back to where I can function like a normal person, and I feel like that's not really a problem, just takes a little practice.
I've got a lot of people in my life that are really supportive, there's no one left who tries to change who I am, or tell me I'm crazy, or that I need to grow up, which is funny because 99% of people tell me how mature I am hahaha, but you know I had people like that in my life before and slowly I'm getting rid of them. I feel more accepted than ever before.
I'm being stubborn about the moving thing, I don't want to live with anyone, which I know is a little crazy, but it's just where I am right now, I'm ready to be on my own for once, with no one but me to worry about. At least for a little while, I mean maybe after a year of living alone I'd want a roommate or something, but I don't think so. I've been feeling more social but I just like to get out of the house, today was my first day off that I didn't leave the house in almost a month. I just have to get out of here more than before. I'm excited about getting my own place for the first time, that'll be kinda fun. Of course right now my priority is getting a new job.
2006 is going to be a change for me haha, new boyfriend, new living situation, new job, and even in the worst case scenrio which is me moving back home and having 2 friends, hey I'm so much happier that even that would be ok. Things aren't such a big deal to me anymore, it's amazing, thank God for everything...
off to bed!!!
I'm not pyscho, I mean I've gone through some times where I might have been a little bit that way, but I don't think I am. I think before I was looking for people to fix me, and all they did was make it worse.
I feel like things in the past were a lot different for me, I feel capable of anything right now, walmart is like a curse, but by April I don't plan to be employed there, not sure where I'll be working, or living, or anything, but I don't really care, because I know I won't be any worse off than I am right now, not that I'm bad off, I'm very well off at the moment.
I just feel like my head is just a little out of control and I have to get it back to where I can function like a normal person, and I feel like that's not really a problem, just takes a little practice.
I've got a lot of people in my life that are really supportive, there's no one left who tries to change who I am, or tell me I'm crazy, or that I need to grow up, which is funny because 99% of people tell me how mature I am hahaha, but you know I had people like that in my life before and slowly I'm getting rid of them. I feel more accepted than ever before.
I'm being stubborn about the moving thing, I don't want to live with anyone, which I know is a little crazy, but it's just where I am right now, I'm ready to be on my own for once, with no one but me to worry about. At least for a little while, I mean maybe after a year of living alone I'd want a roommate or something, but I don't think so. I've been feeling more social but I just like to get out of the house, today was my first day off that I didn't leave the house in almost a month. I just have to get out of here more than before. I'm excited about getting my own place for the first time, that'll be kinda fun. Of course right now my priority is getting a new job.
2006 is going to be a change for me haha, new boyfriend, new living situation, new job, and even in the worst case scenrio which is me moving back home and having 2 friends, hey I'm so much happier that even that would be ok. Things aren't such a big deal to me anymore, it's amazing, thank God for everything...
off to bed!!!