(no subject)
Met Hanna and Yasmin in town to go to the pub yesterday, didn't have the best time ever. I'm not a major fan of going to the pub, I don't have ID so I choose not to drink alcohol because if asked for ID I won't be able to show any and I guess that takes a lot of the point in going to the pub away. Besides that, we always seem to spend all day at the pub when we go, rather than having a drink and then moving on to go shopping or bowling like we used to. It's like, because we can drink now it's all they ever want to do.
Anyway, it wasn't so bad. We bumped into Will in town so we talked to him for a bit and Kaylie and her boyfriend were there too. Played some pool and selected some tracks on the jukebox. It just got awkward once Matt showed up. I told myself I was fine with us breaking up, the relationship didn't work out but at least it wasn't a mindfuck that left me paranoid like previous relationships have been. Matt then proceeded to flirt with absolutely everyone there entirely shamelessly and (As I'd worried about during our relationship) used the word "love" entirely too easily. "Yasmin I love you, can I have a cigarette." It's like, jeez so I rank right up there with cigarettes in the scale of things you love.
So now I'm a little angsty and overanalytical about the relationship, wondering if he was ever serious and panicking about what it was that ended the relationship, was it me or something I did?
Hanna's always in tune with how I'm feeling, so I confided in her. Yasmin just isn't on the same emotional wavelength, so she can tell I'm upset but doesn't pick up on the subtle nuances in my voice that'll let her know my claims of being "fine" are for show and if she asked me in private I'd spill the whole deal.
I'm gonna try and just get the hell over this, but it's irritating that I'm right back where I was after Jamie. I just want to have a relationship where I know the guy likes me, isn't afraid to show that to other people and that when and if it all comes to an end I'll feel good about it and look back with fond memories.
In short, I'm not looking for Mr. Right. I just don't want another Mr. Closetcase, Mr. Sexmad or Mr. Fuckwit.
In totally unrelated news:
JesuOtaku on thatguywiththeglasses is reviewing the Digimon series. I'm already familiar with Digimon Adventure since I watched that a few summers ago and loved it during childhood. Anyway, the review put me in a digimon mood so I'm watching Digimon 02 at the moment, which I didn't watch much when I was younger, then I'll move on to Digimon Tamers; which I do remember a lot better.
Anyway, it wasn't so bad. We bumped into Will in town so we talked to him for a bit and Kaylie and her boyfriend were there too. Played some pool and selected some tracks on the jukebox. It just got awkward once Matt showed up. I told myself I was fine with us breaking up, the relationship didn't work out but at least it wasn't a mindfuck that left me paranoid like previous relationships have been. Matt then proceeded to flirt with absolutely everyone there entirely shamelessly and (As I'd worried about during our relationship) used the word "love" entirely too easily. "Yasmin I love you, can I have a cigarette." It's like, jeez so I rank right up there with cigarettes in the scale of things you love.
So now I'm a little angsty and overanalytical about the relationship, wondering if he was ever serious and panicking about what it was that ended the relationship, was it me or something I did?
Hanna's always in tune with how I'm feeling, so I confided in her. Yasmin just isn't on the same emotional wavelength, so she can tell I'm upset but doesn't pick up on the subtle nuances in my voice that'll let her know my claims of being "fine" are for show and if she asked me in private I'd spill the whole deal.
I'm gonna try and just get the hell over this, but it's irritating that I'm right back where I was after Jamie. I just want to have a relationship where I know the guy likes me, isn't afraid to show that to other people and that when and if it all comes to an end I'll feel good about it and look back with fond memories.
In short, I'm not looking for Mr. Right. I just don't want another Mr. Closetcase, Mr. Sexmad or Mr. Fuckwit.
In totally unrelated news:
JesuOtaku on thatguywiththeglasses is reviewing the Digimon series. I'm already familiar with Digimon Adventure since I watched that a few summers ago and loved it during childhood. Anyway, the review put me in a digimon mood so I'm watching Digimon 02 at the moment, which I didn't watch much when I was younger, then I'll move on to Digimon Tamers; which I do remember a lot better.