disturbing thoughts
my family has alot of pent up aggression and deppression. My dad is a registered sex offender and a former clan member as well with most of my folks, i am truely a black sheep it is all so clear. A life time of sexual,physical,mental and emotional abuse has tought me many things. I am affraid of letting what happened with me and kristy happen with me and devon, I don't feel like a freak or like i am always on trial in that way i am relived and i am use to living a lie cuz i have to every day but it is so hard to remember reality anymore, i love Kristy still but would not date her till many many many many things were discused and fixed, but on the other hand i would never let go of Devon if i had the choice, i care too much. This year for the most part has been a waste. But I have learned a new truth love dies if it is not nurtured.