Been awhile again
And I guess I might as well say ithere, but me and him are done now. He doesn't want it anymore...and I hurt.
For a bit we were treating each other as friends but, I'd never get over him if I kept it that way. Alas, I'm still crying myself to sleep everynight because I miss him more than I did before.
I'm just so fucking confused. I feel like there are thousands of unanswered questions and so much unfinished business between us. And I don't get how quickly he's been able to move on. I feel like I was never there at all. That I never actually met him that we never dated and I never fell in love with him.
...
There is a whole part of my heart just...missing. Ibuilt it all up and nice for him and now it's completely vacant. And I still feel everything. I still love him, I'm still IN love with him, I still want to marry him I want to grow old next to him and die knowing I'd find him wherever our souls went...because he's my soulmate and I mean it.
I'm scared. I'm scared he'll forget and never think to look for me and wonder how I'm doing or if I'm okay. If he'd even want to think of those things. And I get to always think that way. Wonder if he's going to class, if he's passing, if work is ok, how the CDs are going, how his friends and him are, whats going on with his parents...all of that.. it's always going to be taking up a spot in my mind, constantly thinking of all those things...and knowing I"m always goign to want to know them. And never letting go of what was...what I wish is, and I pray just might eventually be.
For a bit we were treating each other as friends but, I'd never get over him if I kept it that way. Alas, I'm still crying myself to sleep everynight because I miss him more than I did before.
I'm just so fucking confused. I feel like there are thousands of unanswered questions and so much unfinished business between us. And I don't get how quickly he's been able to move on. I feel like I was never there at all. That I never actually met him that we never dated and I never fell in love with him.
...
There is a whole part of my heart just...missing. Ibuilt it all up and nice for him and now it's completely vacant. And I still feel everything. I still love him, I'm still IN love with him, I still want to marry him I want to grow old next to him and die knowing I'd find him wherever our souls went...because he's my soulmate and I mean it.
I'm scared. I'm scared he'll forget and never think to look for me and wonder how I'm doing or if I'm okay. If he'd even want to think of those things. And I get to always think that way. Wonder if he's going to class, if he's passing, if work is ok, how the CDs are going, how his friends and him are, whats going on with his parents...all of that.. it's always going to be taking up a spot in my mind, constantly thinking of all those things...and knowing I"m always goign to want to know them. And never letting go of what was...what I wish is, and I pray just might eventually be.