XCIX.

[dark_butler]

I betrayed them all. How many deaths of innocents are my doing?

[ooc: Hi from Dragon Con. Around very sporadically,

Comments

[darkest0knight]

Walter...?

[dark_butler]

I even went so far as to put an explosive in Alucard's weapon. They blew it up in his hand.

[darkest0knight]

But...you were brainwashed, right? That wasn't really you.

[dark_butler]

It was my skill, my intellect, my doing. Brainwashed or not, I regret.

[darkest0knight]

I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't feel. But I think...I think you don't need to carry that much guilt around. Not for that anyway.

[dark_butler]

You know how I feel about Alucard, but I did things that hurt him. I tried to kill him. And I wanted to. I can still feel that wash of murderous intent.

I regret. And it comes between the elder and I even now.

[darkest0knight]

I don't think he blames you for it. Well, the younger one anyway.

[dark_butler]

The younger one has no memory of what I did. The elder does and has not forgotten.

[darkest0knight]

It still wasn't your fault. Besides...being sorry counts for something, doesn't it?

[dark_butler]

Being sorry doesn't change the past.

[darkest0knight]

Neither does feeling regret.

Or being miserable.

[dark_butler]

It seems to be a pervasive mood.

What I did was wrong and hurt someone I love/d. It would be worse if I did not regret it.

[darkest0knight]

It's a stupid curse, and this is a stupid city, and that's probably true but I still don't like seeing you sad.

[dark_butler]

The gods do love seeing us squirm.

[darkest0knight]

The gods can shove it up their asses.

[dark_butler]

I assume you aren't affected?