Musical Madness chap 2
Disclaimer: I don't own…the songs or the anime…so don't sue me k.
Warnings: tons of language, dark Allen-ness, unbeta'd
A/N: Next chappie…hmmm looks like the plot bunny for this story has been working its magic (not really since this took way too long to finish)! Ah well let's not sweat the small stuff and get on with the story! Thank you all for reviewing! Luvies ya'll!
Enjoy!
Chapter 2 - Piecing it together
Kanda stared in disbelief at what Allen just said. 'Is he crazy?' That was the only thought running through his mind. He knew Allen wasn't joking but - he smirked - he also knew there was no way Allen could get him to join.
"No," he replied as harshly as he could, hoping that Allen would get the hint but it seemed that he didn't.
"Kanda please don't be that way," Allen lowered himself to begging. "I don't know why you hate me so much but lets just put that aside for now and-"
"I said no asshole!" Kanda growled interrupting him. "I don't want to be part of your fucking band."
But Allen wouldn't take no for an answer.
"What happened to your dream Kanda? Didn't you want to be the best vocalist in the world…? What changed?"
Kanda tched as the anger and frustration he kept buried inside his heart for years threatened to break loose. It amazed him how only Allen could get this much of a rise out of him. But he'll never admit that, only when Allen finally became the person he wanted him to become, only then will he acknowledge him.
"Since you're so damn persistent why don't you get on your knees and beg me to join," he sneered, "oh and lets add a little boot licking, shall we?"
He stood up with both arms crossed over is chest ready to fight when the opportunity presented itself. After all there was no way in hell Allen would swallow his pride get on his knees and lick his boot. He half expected him to throw a fist his way or just storm out. You could only imagine his astonishment when he saw Allen kneeling down before him.
"Please Kanda, please join my band," Allen begged, to him pride meant nothing if he didn't have Kanda or something weird like that. He reached out to hold Kanda's right leg but was pushed back roughly.
"You fucking moron!" Kanda yelled yanking his foot from Allen's hold; he didn't think he'd actually do it. "Are you an idiot or what? As a matter of fact I don't care I'm getting the fuck out of here. So fuck off."
He turned to leave but froze when he felt a hand on his wrist. Before he knew it, he was yanked forward by his hand and shoved roughly to the closest wall, completely knocking the wind out of him. The elbow belonging to his attacker rested on his neck as a way of preventing him from escaping. Any normal person would be shaking in there boots by now but Kanda was calm. He opened his eyes and stared into those familiar yet foreign gray depts.
"You make it seem as if I was giving you a fucking choice," Allen growled in an unfamiliar husky purr that made Kanda's body shiver in pleasure. "Join my band Kanda or else." he ran his tongue along the shell of Kanda's ear.
"Or else what?" Kanda asked as he tried to mask his heady feeling with bravado.
Allen chuckled at that.
"You let me worry about that hun," he replied in that god damned hot voice of his.
He expected Kanda to refuse again, that he didn't mind because if he did he might have to administer a little punishment he always wanted to dish out on him. So he was just daring him to say no again, but what came out of Kanda's mouth left him disoriented and stunned.
"Ok."
Allen blinked. 'Wait a min…did he just say ok?'
While Allen was in shock from the answer he never expected, Kanda used the distraction to bring is knee up - to create more space between them - and then kick Allen back sending him falling to the floor. He grabbed up his guitar and made his way over to the door while Allen sat on the ground still stunned to the core that Kanda said yes.
The pathetic look Allen had on his face pissed Kanda off. He missed the intrepid, domineering person that looked ready to fuck him then and there. It was what he always wanted…to be dominated by someone. But not just by anyone, his body always wanted to be owned and controlled by Allen even if he refused to admit it. He was the only one he'd allow to do what ever he wanted to him and he wouldn't fight back. That right belonged to Allen and Allen alone, only if he could prove himself worthy of it. He proved it to him a little while ago even if it was brief.
"Oi get the fuck up so we can go," Kanda yelled over his shoulders, already half way through the door.
"Uh yeah!" Allen got up as fast as he could and followed Kanda out. He paused at the door before turning back. "Shit I almost forgot the equipments I came here for, hey Kanda mind giving me a hand?"
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Allen pushed the door to the auditorium open. The wide smile on his face made him seem like he just won a million dollars or just had the best sex of his life, or probably both. But Lenalee and Lavi knew otherwise: Allen found a perfect candidate to be his lead singer.
"Guys don't just stand there help me out!" he croaked as he tried to balance the extra equipments they needed in both hands. "Our late entry refused to help me."
"Oh sorry Allen," both ran towards him to take some of the items.
"So ah, a late entry?" Lenalee inquired as she took the keyboard she requested from him.
"Yep it took a while to convince him though, hence why I'm a little late," Allen replied with the same goofy grin on his face. "I had to literally beg and stuff-"
"Get the fuck out of the way, you moron," Kanda yelled interrupting Allen.
"Kanda?"
"Yuu?"
To say Lenalee and Lavi were surprised was a huge understatement.
"What?" he growled turning his attention to the shock ridden two.
"Yuu, you're auditioning?" Lavi asked this was something he never guessed would have happened.
"Yeah, so?"
At that reply shock gasps filled the audition.
"Wait a minute, why? How?" Lenalee could barely form a coherent sentence.
Kanda shrugged.
"The moyashi threatened me so to applaud him for finally getting a backbone I'm auditioning," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
This however led to the students gossiping.
"Allen Walker threatened Yuu Kanda?"
"You mean Allen I'm-a-perfect-gentleman Walker did? Who knew he was the sneaking type."
"Man I'm seriously scared of him now, who'd think someone could threaten Kanda and live to tell the tale."
"Yeah man, talk about hidden agendas. Somehow I knew Allen was a freak I mean who dye their hair white? Seriously white of all colour."
While the hushed comments continued, poor Allen was twitching all over by the blunt of it. 'My perfect gentleman image! It's ruined!' It was surprising how the reputation he built for himself over the years was completely smashed and overwritten so easily.
"Allen you threatened Kanda?" who knew he was a monster underneath the perfect facade he had? Lenalee sure didn't.
"Lenalee not you too," Allen sighed.
"Hey I don't buy that ya know right Allen," Lavi supplied with a grin, before Allen could thank him for the comment Lavi continued. "I always knew ya were a fake gentleman."
Allen's hope deflated. "Yeah what ever can we get on with the finals now!" he elaborated on the now so that everyone would shut up. "Thank you! So the finalist are Hailey, Kuu, Alex, Shiro, Nakama and to even it out Kanda. You guys will perform with us one after the other in that order. We'll give our last comments then with the help of the crowd - that I never knew we managed to nab - the winner will be chosen. Sounds good?"
Lenalee and Lavi shrugged.
"Sure, sounds good to me," Lavi replied.
"Ok, let's get this final audition on the road!" Allen cheered he was about to grab up his black base guitar when a raised hand caught his attention. "Yes Hailey?"
The one called Hailey - a bleached blonde with brown eyes - stood up from where she sat. A coat a pink dusted her cheeks as she gaze up shyly at Allen - a clear sign that she liked him.
"Allen-kun why is he," she pointed towards Kanda, who was leaning against the wall near to the entrance with a bored look on his face, "allowed to reach the final round without even auditioning in the first rounds? It's not fair to the others who worked hard to be here to join your wonderful band. I mean I know I'll be the one you pick because of course who wouldn't and-"
"Hailey," Allen interrupted.
"Yes Allen-kun?"
"Could you please shut up and just sing?" he said with a strained smile that almost looked like he was trying not to lose his temper, he always got that way when someone bad talked Kanda. "About why Kanda's here, his talent makes up for it," he walked over to the stage, "you'll know when you hear him."
Hailey's face burned red, this time of embarrassment but she tried to hide that fact as she made her way to the stage, climbing up the stairs a delicate one at a time. 'I won't lose,' she thought as she held the mike in her hand. 'Lenalee gave up but I won't. Allen and I belong together and this song I'll sing will prove my love to him.'
"So Hailey which song will you be singing?" Allen asked. "We already went through the songs you gave us and memorized them so pick one."
"Dangerously in love," she replied without missing a beat.
"Sure," Lenalee scoffed, "you'd have to pick that one."
Hailey turned to glare at her. "Hmm bitter aren't you? That you won't be able to get Allen-kun and I will."
Lenalee would have laughed but now wasn't the time for it. "Whatever." 'Bitch'
Hailey walked towards the front of the stage. This time she wouldn't be singing with her prepared CD, she'll be singing to a live performance by the band she'll give anything to be part of -only to be with Allen that is. She took a deep breath as she took the mike in her hands.
"I'm ready."
Allen and his band started playing. Hailey turned her attention to Allen and started singing.
~I love you. I love you. I love you.
Baby I love you.
You are my life.
My happiest moments weren't complete.
If you weren't by my side.
You're my relation,
In connection to the sun,
With you next to me,
There's no darkness I can't overcome.
You are my raindrop,
I am the sea,
With you and God, who's my sunlight,
I bloom and grow so beautifully.
Baby, I'm so proud,
So proud to be your girl,
You make the confusion,
Go all away,
From this cold and messed up world.~
Allen tried to get into playing his guitar but he got an intense vibe. It felt like he was being watched - really intently - and that sort of freaked him out. It's not that he wasn't used to being watched it's just that it was the kind of stare he always felt from rabid fangirls. Hailey however blushed as she tried to move closer to Allen.
~I am in love with you,
You set me free,
I can't do this thing,
Called life without you here with me,
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you,
I'll never leave,
Just keep lovin' me,
The way I love you loving me.~
She got closer and closer to where Allen stood.
~And I know you love me,
Love me for who I am,
Cause years before I became who I am,
Baby you were my man.
I know it ain't easy,
Easy loving me,
I appreciate the love and dedication,
From you to me.
Later on in my destiny,
I see myself having your child,
I see myself being your wife,
And I see my whole future in your eyes.
Thought of all my love for you,
sometimes make me wanna cry,
Realize all my blessings,
I'm grateful.
To have you by my siddddeeeeeeeeee!~
She tripped on the cord that connected Allen's guitar to the main speaker box and fell flat on her face. The music stopped and everyone erupted into uncontrollable fits of laughter.
"Holy shit Hailey or should I say Tumble-lina," Lenalee almost chocked on her laughter.
Hailey's face burned red and she tried to get up only to fall back to the ground still tangled by the wires. Tears came to her eyes and she tried to hold them in. She saw a hand before her and almost died blushing when she saw that it was Allen's. When he walked up to her all laughter ceased. She took his hand and Allen pulled her up.
"Allen-kun I knew-"
"Sorry Hailey I just didn't feel that performance," Allen said bluntly interrupting her. "You may have an alright voice but you're easily distracted, hence why you trip and fall making your performance suck."
Hailey's cheeks grew hot in shame. The bump she got on her forehead from the fall stung.
"Allen-kun, please give me another chance," she pleaded.
"Why should I?" Allen asked, annoyance clearly written on his features.
Lenalee tried to hold back the chuckles that threatened to wrack her body but as circumstances have it she couldn't and she ended up laughing.
"Man that's was rich," The laughing died down. "Sorry hun but Allen's right you are easily distracted. Not to mention that fall was epic! Mind giving us a replay Tumble-lina?"
"Why you!" Hailey fumed, her embarrassment rising by the second. "I wasn't distracted; I just didn't see that wire!"
"Sure you didn't," Lenalee scoffed. "You were paying too much attention to Allen that you didn't notice the wires. If that's not being distracted I don't know what is."
Lavi had to agree with that one.
"Lenalee's got a point there," he shrugged. "I could literally feel the stares directed at Allen…can ya say, way creepy?"
Allen considered this for a while. It's not that he wanted to give Hailey another chance; he wanted the best band which meant no screw-ups. And what Hailey pulled a little while ago was a major screw-up. 'Let's tease the ditz for a while shall we.'
"Hailey, why you want to join this band?" Allen asked in an even tone.
Hailey's face burned red.
"I want to join because I want to be close to you," she replied in a shy voice, her blush increasing in tint. "Allen-kun I really lo-"
"Okay," Allen interrupted. "I asked for a reason not a confession ne?"
This time Lenalee didn't try to hide or suppress her laugh.
"Well not that I want to be harsh but~" he began in a singsong voice, "that reason is not what I'm looking for in my lead singer so yeah sorry - or maybe not - but I'm eliminating you."
"What? Allen-kun you can't!" Hailey screamed in disbelief. Allen-kun couldn't do that to their love!
"Wait I can't?" Allen asked in an obviously fake shock tone. "Only the leader has the right to do that ne? Where is he?" he looked around. "Now who's the leader?" At that almost everyone laughed. "Oh I am the leader so I guess I can."
The tears that flooded out Hailey's eyes could probably rival the river Nile. With a scream of 'Allen-kun you baka meanie' she ran from the audition room. Allen sort of felt bad for her…he burped, naw it was just gas.
"Kuu, you're up hun," Allen smiled at the girl before him. She looked younger than him, by two years at most.
"Sure dad," Kuu replied with a bright smile. "But I'll forfeit since I'm no longer needed."
"That's mean," Allen pouted. "You make your old man sad, didn't I tell you that you're always needed."
"Not when it comes to papa," Kuu replied evenly. "So did you find out how to get on papa's good side?"
"Why'd you ask?"
"Cause papa's here," Kuu replied with a shrug.
If they didn't know who Kuu's 'papa' was, they knew now.
"That's was a little miracle on my part," Allen replied. "So you're gonna forfeit?"
"Yep! But I still want to sing with your band right now," Kuu ran up the small flight of steps to get on stage, her heavy combat boots echoed on the floor. Her overly full chest caught the boy's attention as she moved, their eyes locking on the vivacious bounce of her oversized breast. They licked their lips, wanting nothing more than to suc-…Allen's glare stopped their train of thought.
"You perverts stop staring at my daughter like that or else I will make your lives hell," he growled and instantly all eyes diverted from Kuu. "Good. Now fix your blazer hun."
"Dad you're such a worry wart," Kuu whined as she adjusted her black blazer though it didn't help much in hiding her large breasts. "Papa isn't worrying as much as you."
'Papa is banging the entire school so why would he care,' was what he wanted to say but he kept that to himself. It wasn't like Kuu doesn't know…or don't she? Either way, he didn't want to be the one to tell her something she probably didn't want to hear about someone she considered as a parent figure to her.
"Your papa worries too, don't you see the glare he's sending those perverts?"
"Papa always glares!" Kuu yelled.
"But he's glaring even more," Allen added with a firm nod.
"Um…Allen, Kuu, can we get to the singing?" Lenalee asked, a sweat drop lining the side of her head. "The crowd is getting impatient."
"Huh?" both Kuu and Allen turned to face a restless crowd, and then blushed. "Um…sorry?"
"Ok then Kuu what song will you be singing?" Lavi asked.
"Bring me to life."
"Ah looks like you got to get your voice warmed up Allen," Lenalee teased.
Allen grinned in reply "same to you." He can bet Kanda hasn't heard him sing in a long time, so it was time to return the favor. Kuu grabbed the mike in her hand.
"Ready dad!"
They began playing an eerie yet calming rhythm and Kuu closed her eyes.
~How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.~
The rhythm increased in base as Kuu's eyes opened.
~Without a soul…
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold,
Until you find it there and lead it back…home.~
Lavi's hits on the drum became louder.
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Call my name and save me from the dark.~
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Bid my blood to run.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Before I come undone.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Save me from the nothing I've become…~
The rhythm slowed a bit but it recovered its speed.
~Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me,
Breathe in to me and make me real Bring me to life.~
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Call my name and save me from the dark.~
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Bid my blood to run.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Before I come undone.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Save me from the nothing I've become…~
They continued playing and Lenalee paused a bit before singing with Kuu in a whisper.
~Bring me to life…~
Allen came in with a whisper of:
~I've been living a lie…There's nothing inside.~
Kuu: ~Bring me to life…~
Kuu closed her eyes as she focused on the verse she was singing.
~Frozen inside without your touch without your love, darling,
Only you are the life among the dead…~
The rhythm sped up and Allen sang.
~All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me.~
Kuu eyes opened continued with:
~I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,
I've got to open my eyes to everything…~
Allen continued with:
~Without a thought, without a word, without a soul.~
Kuu: ~Don't let me die here…~
Allen: ~There must be something wrong.~
Kuu: ~Bring me to life….~
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Wake me up inside.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Call my name and save me from the dark.~
Allen: ~Wake me up!~
Kuu: ~Bid my blood to run.~
Allen: ~I can't wake up!~
Kuu: ~Before I come undone.~
Allen: ~Save me!~
Kuu: ~Save me from the nothing I've become…~
Kuu whispered: ~Bring me to life…~
Allen: ~I've been living a lie…without you alive.~
Kuu: ~Bring me to life…~
The applaud that sounded after the performance echoed in the auditorium.
"Ah my daughter's voice if as wonderful as ever!" Allen gushed after Kuu finished her high note.
"Thanks dad," Kuu blushed at the compliment. "But remember, I already forfeited."
"Too bad though you could have won," Lenalee said with a smile. "I've never heard anyone with your passion for singing."
"Be prepared to be knocked away then," Kuu replied with a wink. "My papa is pretty awesome." 'He's the one who got me to like singing.'
She jumped off the stage and hurried over to where Kanda stood.
"How was I papa?" her eyes held a sort of childish expectation in them. As if she was expecting to be praised and given a cookie for doing a good job.
Kanda grunted in response.
"Perfect, just like I remembered," It was whispered but Kuu heard it perfectly.
A bright red blush stained her cheeks.
"Arigato."
Allen smiled as he watched Kanda and Kuu interact. It warmed his heart to see them like that again - little did he know that they were always like that and that he's just never around to see them - he want them all to be like they were before. When everything was just simple and not as complicated as their lives are now. 'We'll go back to the old days, just wait and see Kanda, I'll get you back.'
"So who's next?"
A guy with spiky black hair jumped up from where he sat at the front row.
"I'm next dude! Let's rock out!"
Allen's face lit up considerably.
"Alex my man definitely, dude let's tear the roof off!"
Alex rested both hands on the front of the stage and pushed up so that he could get his knees on the edge, so that he could climb up. Allen went to meet him halfway. They did a high five and a bunch of other complicated hand gestures before they rested their hands on each other shoulders.
"So Alex what song ya guna break out for us?" Allen asked a huge smile in place for the person who held the same addictive energy - when it comes to rock music - as him. "But personally I'd like to hear you do Faint."
"No prob, that song kicks ass," Alex replied with a thumb up. "I'm guna like, dedicate it to ya'll, ya kno' -Kanda and you of course. He should kno, ya won't be ignored for long!"
Allen chuckled at this. "Yeah, you know it," He went back to his spot. "Ready when you are."
Alex took the mike out of its stand. "Let's jam!"
Allen and the others started playing; the most dominate sound being from Lavi as he pounded hard on his drums. Allen picked up the pace seeming to enjoy the loud pounding music they were creating.
~I am,
A little bit of loneliness,
A little bit of disregard,
Handful of complaints,
But I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars.
I am,
What I want you to want,
What I want you to feel,
But it's like no matter what I do,
I can't convince you to just believe this is real.
So I,
Let go watching you,
Turn your back like you always do,
Face away and pretend that I'm not,
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got…~
Alex took a deep breath before he went into the chorus; his voice a little louder.
~I can't feel the way I did before,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!
Time won't heal this damage anymore,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!~
His voice lowered back to normal.
~I am,
A little bit insecure,
A little unconfident,
Cuz you don't understand I do what I can,
Sometimes I don't make sense.
I am,
What you never wanna say,
But I've never had a doubt,
It's like no matter what I do,
I can't convince you for once just to hear me out.
So I,
Let go watching you,
Turn your back like you always do,
Face away and pretend that I'm not,
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got…~
Just like before Alex's voice rose that he sounded like he was screaming.
~I can't feel the way I did before,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!
Time won't heal this damage anymore,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!~
His voice rose higher and he gripped the mike in his grasp harder as he sang.
~Hear me out now!
You're gonna listen to me like it or not!
Right now!
Hear me out now!
You're gonna listen to me like it or not!
Right now!~
His voice lowered when he sang the next two lines but it turned to a scream when he sang the third line.
~I can't feel the way I did before,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!
I can't feel the way I did before,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!
Time won't heal this damage anymore,
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!
I can't feel….
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored.
Time won't tell…
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored!~
With one last strum from the band everything fell to silence, followed by the loud applauds from the students.
"Sick, sick, sick! Wicked awesome Alex!" Allen cheered, he walked towards Alex and they did a high five. "Lung control, voice control, pitch, diction perfect," he turned the remaining contestants with a smile. "I'm not picking favorites here but Alex's got my vote," his eyes roamed the room taking in Kanda's expression. 'Come on Kanda, get mad. I want to see your pissed off face.'
Unfortunately for Allen, Kanda just stared back at him with an emotionless look on his face. He didn't seem phased by Allen's little favorite, hell he looked bored beyond reasoning. Allen was not pleased, he sighed in defeat.
"Ok, who's next?"
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
After Shiro's performance of 'All The Right Moves' and Nakama's of 'Lose Yourself' it was finally time for Kanda's to sing. It was an obvious fact that everyone was eager to hear him. Lenalee too was eager to hear, plus she wanted to know why Allen had that I-just-had-the-best-sex-ever look on his face when he walked in before with Kanda. Was Kanda really that good? Or was it that Allen was so infatuated with Kanda, that he used the audition as a scam to get Kanda to fall for him? Now the question she was dead set on finding out: was Allen that biased? Somehow she could hear a 'yes' in the background.
"Kanda you're finally next," Allen purred.
Kanda opened his eyes seeing an overly smiley face way too close for comfort. 'When the hell did he get here?' The urge to push him back was there, also to pull him towards him - he was contradicting himself - but he kept those urges in, instead he gazed directly into Allen's strange gray eyes without a hint of emotion. He watched as plump lips parted to repeat his previous statement.
"Shut the fuck up, I heard you the first time," He growled as settled with pushing Allen's face away from his.
He stalked over to the stage and Allen being Allen followed him like a lost puppy. 'Do I really have to do this?' It was stupid to question himself but really, did he truly want to sing? There was only one answer to that question: fuck yes! No matter how much he tried to deny it, that passion he had for music before was still there. It never left him, probably been forced into hiding -but never gone. And Allen being his annoying little self is forcing that which he kept buried for years to resurface.
"Do you have a song you want to sing?" Allen tried again at striking a conversation, but it was useless as Kanda ignored him. "Since you don't have one prepared, how about you pick from one of your favorites? I know you like heavy metal, so why not sing-"
"Afterlife."
Allen froze, he didn't know if he should be surprised or flattered that Kanda requested to sing a song that he composed. But he being who he is - a major Kanda stalker - he chose the latter. 'So now, how did he know that song?'
"Huh, wait a sec, isn't that the song Allen composed for us to perform at the M.M. auditions?" Lenalee was surprised. "How do you know about that song?"
Kanda just shrugged the question off and stepped on stage.
"Oi moyashi hand me that violin."
Allen nodded with a smile. "Ok!"
Lenalee had never seen Allen in a rush to get something for someone so fast in his entire life. Hell it looked like he even made a world record: 'the fastest man to rush for a violin and bring it back to the person in less than five seconds.' Who knew he could run that fast? 'Or do mundane stuff for people.' Lenalee snorted, gentleman or not Allen never liked rushing around for anyone. If you ask him to pick up something he'd ask: "what's wrong with your arms and legs?" but he'd pick it up just the same -while he grumbled and complained doing it. What made Kanda's request - well order - different from hers or Lavi's? 'Che Allen never hesitated when Kanda asked, he instantly went for it.' Now Lenalee can see the extent of the vice-grip Kanda seemed to have on Allen's heart. That or she was being stupid, by over thinking everything Allen does. 'God I need therapy, my mindset is on Allen way too much.'
"Lenalee stay focus, Kanda's gonna play the first part of the intro for us."
Lenalee snapped out of her thoughts only to see a serious Allen in his place on stage. He grinned at her briefly before turning his gaze to Kanda, who was before him with the violin in his arms and his black guitar strapped to his back. She nodded in reply and readied herself to play; all useless thoughts pushed to the back of her mind.
"Kanda ready when you are," Allen smiled.
Kanda huffed then closed his eyes; he brought the violin to his shoulders and took a deep breath. Once he was calm he began to play. Lenalee wasn't the only one surprised beyond reasoning at the beautiful melody that was produced. Allen though, wasn't the least bit surprised at the fact that Kanda could play the violin so well. He knew that it was one of Kanda's talents; music was like second nature to him. He gave a rueful smile as Kanda's solo came to an end but he brightened up as he played his part, knowing that in a few minutes he'd get to hear Kanda sing for a second time in a really long time.
Lenalee quickly got over her shock and joined Lavi in playing. Kanda stooped down to put the violin down, then got up and gripped the mike stand in his hand. He took another breath before he began singing. His expression was unlike anything anyone had ever seen before: serene and passionate.
~Like walking into a dream…
So unlike what you've seen…
So unsure but it seems…
Cause I've been waiting for you.
Fallen into this place…
Just giving you a small taste…
Of your afterlife here so stay,
You'll be back here soon anyway.~
Kanda paused for a bit while Lavi's pounded a bit harder on his drums.
~I see a distant light…
But girl this can't be right…
Such a surreal place to see,
So how did this come to be?
Arrived too early.
And when I think of all the places I just don't belong,
I've come to grips with life and realize it's going too far.
I don't belong here,
We gotta move on dear,
Escape from this afterlife,
Cause this time I'm right,
To move on and on,
Far away from here…~
There was a pause before the rhythm continued just like the first verse, with Lavi's drums and Allen's guitar being the dominant sounds. Lenalee's keyboard sounded in the background.
~A place of hope and no pain…
Perfect skies with no rain…
Can leave this place but refrain…
Cause we've been waiting for you.
Fallen into this place…
Just giving you a small taste…
Of your afterlife here so stay,
You'll be back here soon anyway.~
Kanda paused for a bit while Lavi's pounded a bit harder on his drums just like before.
~This peace on earth's not right…~
Allen replied with:
~With my back against the wall.~
Kanda continued with:
~No pain no sign of time.~
Allen replied with:
~I'm too young to fall.~
Kanda grip on the mike tightened.
~So out of place don't want to stay,
I feel wrong and that's my sign,
I've made up my mind.
Give me your hand but realize I just want to say goodbye,
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life.
I don't belong here,
We gotta move on dear,
Escape from this afterlife,
Cause this time I'm right,
To move on and on,
Far away from here…
Got nothing against you,
And surely I'll miss you,
This place full of peace and light,
And I hope you might,
Take me back inside,
When the time is right….~
Kanda paused with his eyes closed while Allen, Lavi and Lenalee continued playing. He nudged his head toward Allen signaling to him without words that he would be singing the next few lines. Allen got what he meant and prepared to sing. They mellowed down and Kanda joined in the fray with his own guitar.
~Loved ones back home all crying cause they're already missing me.~
He paused a bit before continuing.
~I pray by the grace of god that there's somebody listening.~
Another pause.
~Give me a chance to be the person I wanna be.~
While Allen sang that line Kanda echoed in the background with:
~I am broken,
I'm choking on the ecstasy.~
Allen continued with:
~Oh lord I've tried so hard but you've gotta let go of me.~
Just like before Kanda's voice echoed in the background. This time it was more like a shout:
~Un-break me,
Unchain me,
I need another chance to live!~
Allen and Kanda immersed themselves in a guitar solo. They were so in to it; eyes closed, fingers thrumming fast against the strings. It was like the music controlled their souls, as their playing was in perfect synchrony. The energy they put into playing leaked out to the crowd, and soon they were cheering and moving along with the rhythm.
Lenalee looked at the two in awe, well more Kanda than Allen as she already knew Allen could play. But Kanda, he was keeping up with Allen's mad guitar skills as if he's been playing the guitar since he was born. She'd never seen anyone keep up with Allen when he's playing the guitar but Kanda seemed like a natural.
Lavi however was grinning like mad. 'Yuu still sounds awesome, but now he's even better.' His grin widened when their solo come to an end, it was finally his turn to show them what he's got. He started playing, meshing in with Allen's and Kanda's solo. Soon after the sound of guitars ceased completely, leaving the sound of Lavi pounding away on his drums. That soon came to an end and everyone started playing again in perfect synchronization. Kanda got ready to end the song.
~I don't belong here,
We gotta move on dear,
Escape from this afterlife,
Cause this time I'm right,
To move on and on,
Far away from here…
Got nothing against you,
And surely I'll miss you,
This place full of peace and light,
And I hope you might,
Take me back inside,
When the time is right….~
With that the song ended, everyone cheered, shouted and did whatever came to mind. The response for the performance was louder than any of the previous; it was clear who the winner was. Their performance was perfect; it was almost like watching a live concert. There was no doubt that everyone enjoyed it immensely. But the thing is, how could someone perform a song so entirely flawless without a hint of practice. Kanda played his part perfectly as if he'd been with the group all his life. It didn't seem as if he'd practiced with them but he got his part down without a hitch.
"That performance rocked beyond words! Man I'm speechless!"Alex continued to cheer as he waved his hands to Kanda, then gave him a thumbs up. "Kanda your voice still kicks ass."
"Yup definitely!" Kuu smiled, she rubbed her hands together. "It's a good thing I gave papa that song to look over. I always wanted to hear him sing it."
All heads whipped to Kuu's direction.
"You gave Kanda Allen's song?" Lenalee asked not knowing whether she should be angry or surprised at the revelation.
"Yeah I did," Kuu replied evenly. "After all dad wrote that song with papa in mind, so it's no big deal," she shrugged.
"I can't believe you did that!" Lenalee began.
'Uh oh Lenalee's is going lecture-mode on me,' Kuu internally groaned.
"Don't sweat the small stuff Lena," Allen interrupted her tirade. "It's a good thing Kuu did what she did, she's right I wrote this song for Kanda. I'm glad I could hear him sing it."
Lenalee looked at him in disbelief. Didn't he get it? Someone took his song without permission. Isn't that like a crime in the music world? She looked towards Lavi for help but he just shrugged, so she let it go. 'I'll never understand these guys…'
"So Kanda can play the violin and guitar? That's a shocker," Lenalee stated, that was something she wanted to find out.
"Ah I forgot ya didn't grow up with us," Lavi said with a nod of his head. "Sometimes I forget that there are a lot ta things that you still don't know."
Lenalee snorted. "Well sorry for meeting you guys in high school." It always annoyed her that she was the last person to join their little group and the she barely knew much about them. From what she knew, Allen, Kanda and Kuu knew each other longer - like from nursery days - then Lavi joined them in pre-school. So basically everyone knew each other ages ago. Even Alex knew them before her; he met them back in middle school.
"Didn't mean ta rub it in yer face or anything," Lavi said sheepishly. "Well let me enlighten ya a bit then. You see Kanda here has an affinity for music; he's reached levels back in middle school that was impossible to reach by a normal human being. Not only does he have one kick ass voice he has already mastered playing certain instruments such as the Cello, Violin, Guitar, Recorder, Piano and of course the Drums. And all that was before he was even eleven."
Lenalee was struck silent by this. She never expected that Kanda was that much of a musical genius. But the thing is, if he was, why the hell was he like this now?
"Kanda really is a master when it comes to music," Allen added. "Plus he was the one who first thought me how to play the guitar. Thanks to him I'm a master at playing the guitar now. As a matter of fact it's because of Kanda that I wanted to create this band." Allen turned to face Kanda as he said the last line.
"Hey moyashi when we're older how about we form a band?" big blue eyes glowed in anticipation as they settled on the young spiky haired brunette beside him.
The brunette boy frowned at the name he was called, "t'snot moyashi, baKanda!" but that frown was short lived, he smiled brightly at the raven haired boy next to him. "That would be cool. Hey we could ask Kuu, Lavi and Alex to join too."
"Yeah, we should! That would be fun, forming a band with all of my friends," Ideas were running at a fast pace through his juvenile mind. "I really want to become a singer…" a coat of pink stained his round pale cheeks. "It's like my dream."
The brunette kid got up from his place on the park bench, standing before the raven boy; he stretched his chubby little hands towards him with a smile. "Then I'll help you make your dream come true, I promise."
The raven looked at the hand before him then at the boy who held it out. His blush darkened as he gripped the hand in his, allowing the boy to pull him up to his feet. He felt content and happy and he allowed a small smile to grace his face. "It's a promise."
Allen looked towards Kanda with a smile in place. He held his hand out for him to take. "I want to keep my promise."
Kanda stared at the hand then at the young man before him. Instead of taking the hand he turned away from Allen walking over to the door.
"I auditioned, so I'm gone," He said over his shoulders.
"Wait Kanda! You can't leave yet," Allen wasted no time chasing after him. "We're about to choose the winner."
Kanda stopped in his tracks then turned to glare at Allen with all his might. "Shut the fuck up, damn it!" anger racked his entire frame. "I said I'd audition so I did. Where the hell in that fucking sentence did it say that I'd join? Eh?"
Allen was silent; hell the whole auditorium was dead silent. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and it would echo. Kanda looked down right pissed off and Allen was shocked stiff as to what to do to calm him down. So he settled for keeping his mouth shut but that only pissed Kanda off more.
"I'm outta here, pick some other loser," Kanda turned away in a huff, his long ponytail swished, almost hitting Allen in the face. "There's no way I can join," this was barely a whisper but Allen heard it.
'Shit, shit, shit! Am I just going to let him leave? Fuck, I'm such a loser.'
Allen balled his hands into a tight fist, the nails cutting into his hands leaving small crescent shaped wounds. He felt powerless to stop Kanda but - he lifted his head up, determination blazing in his gray eyes - there was no way in hell he was going to let that stop him. With new found determination he chased after Kanda.
"Allen just leave him, you can't force him to join," Lenalee called after him. "He'll just hate you more."
Allen stopped and turned to face her. The look in his eyes made her gasp in shock, she'd never seen him with that sort of expression before.
"Force him?" Allen chuckled darkly. "I can and I will," he turned away from her to continue his quest. "Besides he hated me since day one, what difference will it make now?"
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Kanda felt like a complete moron. He wanted to sing, he knew he did but…shit there was always a freaking but. 'Fuck I'm such a coward.' He couldn't believe he was still afraid to defy 'him' and his rules. It made him hate himself more, knowing that he gave up something that was practically his whole life, just because he wasn't allowed to like it. 'Stupid fucking family! Stupid fucked up world! I hate this.'
"I hate this," He whispered to no one in particular.
"Then stop."
He didn't have to turn around to know who it was that spoke.
"You don't give up, don't you?" Kanda sighed and turned to face Allen. "Were you even this persistent in the past?"
Allen gave a low chuckle. "Who knows?" He shrugged.
"Fuck it moyashi," Kanda felt extremely tired. "I told you I'm not-"
"Give me a reason, and then I'll leave you alone." Allen said interrupting him. "I want to know why you're like this. Why you gave up on something you loved more than your life. Did something happen with your dad?" Allen didn't miss the way Kanda flinched at the mention of his dad. "Or is it that you gave up? But I know that's not the case, I know you Kanda, and I know you wouldn't mess your life up for no reason."
"You don't know anything about me," Kanda growled out, suddenly angry.
"I know you're running away from what you truly want," Allen stated without a hitch.
Kanda closed his eyes and when they reopened he seemed exhausted. He wasn't tired at Allen's persistence but he was drained from holding himself back. He knew it; Allen knew it so why continue to deny it? Singing wasn't a hobby for him, it was his life.
"I'm not… -" he didn't know what else to say.
"Kanda, when did you become such a coward?"
That struck Kanda harder than he thought it would. 'A coward? Me?' Maybe he was acting cowardly, only using means that will debase himself to get back at his father. But what could he do? He wasn't allowed to do anything that he liked, he was to follow his father's footsteps and take over the family business. He was to become an uncaring robot for the sake of success. With such a controlled life, could he find it in himself to defy his father?
"This is utter idiocy! There is no way a son of mine will become something a fickle as a musician. You will follow the Kanda family line and inherit the family business. I do not want to hear this rubbish of you wanting to participate in music. You are now twelve and should be thinking of how you will be beneficial to the company, not trying to deviate. As my only son and the heir to the company, I expect you to act as such."
The 'him' that ached for his father's attention and approval died when he heard his response to his treasured dream. It shattered the world he thought he knew, bringing certain things that were blind to him before to light. From that moment he realized that the sheltered life that he led was not one of protection and care but one of control. His father dictated everything he did and he wasn't even allowed to have a mind of his own. He was just a pawn for the family to be used at their caprice.
Giving up on his dream made him bitter and cold. He began to hate everything around him as much as he hated himself for complying with his father's whims. Every other kid had their freedom while he had to live a life that was laid out before him. Everything was planned for his future: his life, his job, his wife, even the amount kids he would have. He earned nothing, everything was just handed to him on a silver platter, and it made him sick.
So he rebelled, the harsh attitude was the beginning. He isolated himself and took on a more passive approach to defying his father, but it mostly revolved around trying to disgrace his family by demeaning himself. That was his rebellion, he did what ever he could to shame his family name and he made sure that his father knew about it. He slept with anyone who nab his fancy - mostly men - took drugs, smoked, drank and did what ever victimless crime that was looked down on society. But while he did this he conformed to his father's requests and attended what ever that was required of him, be it business meetings, special lunches and any other social functions; he never missed one.
He already resigned himself to being his father's puppet without so much of a fight and he didn't think he could defy him, so he relented. Besides it was hard to go against something that was implanted in his brain from birth. Obedience and respect to his father was like breathing he had to do it, there was no if or but, it was a requirement of being apart of that family.
"Kanda?" Allen tried to get Kanda's attention as it seemed he was out of it.
Kanda shook his head trying to focus on what was before him. Allen was right, he was being a coward. But he didn't know what else to do; he was trapped in that family.
Then break free.
He closed his eyes, shielding the lucid steely blue from sight. 'I don't know if I can.'
"Can I really?" Kanda couldn't believe that was his voice, it sounded so unsure and fragile so unlike his usual.
Allen nodded with a bright smile. "Do what you want to do Kanda; you're the one in control of your life. No one can tell you what to do but you yourself," he moved closer to where Kanda stood with his eyes tightly closed. "I want you to be happy so-"
He never got to finish that statement as his mouth was forcefully closed by a pale hand. Kanda glared at Allen with all his might, the little show of his weakness before now gone.
"Shut up," Pink dusted his cheeks. "God, you're so fucking corny."
Allen couldn't help but laugh behind the hand that held his lips hostage. The mood felt as if they were back in the old days, which was fun and all but he needed an answer. Slowly he removed Kanda's hand from his mouth.
"Your answer?"
"You will follow the Kanda family line and inherit the family business."
Kanda shook his head and gave Allen a cheeky grin. 'It's my life old man, fuck off.'
"Heh sure, count me in."
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Mix-tape time!
Dangerously In Love by Destiny's Child (even though it sounds like mostly Beyoncé)
Bring Me to Life by Evanescence
Faint by Linkin Park
All the Right Moves by One Republic
Lose Yourself by Eminem
Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold
A/N: Wow was this long or what? Damn I mean look at how much page this took up. Ah well hehehe now you know some of Kanda's past and the reason why he won't sing. It will be elaborated in the later chapters to come and stuff ok. One more thing, did anyone notice that I use the OC Kuu a lot in my DGM fanfics? I don't know why but she's just loves sticking wit me. Oh and no new update for Acquiescence (it's being beta'd)…sorry but I'll have a next chappie up by my next update. Until next time! R&R 3!
Next chapter: The Auditions Begins!
Ja na!
Kaos