Musical Madness chapter 1
Title: Musical Madness
Author: Dark Angel Kaos
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Pairings: Allen x Kanda (AreKan), Tyki x Lavi (Lucky), Cross x Lenalee
Rating: PG-18
Warnings: Yaoi, shonen ai, language, OOCness, suicidal tendencies, Japanese songs (just one), family issues, smoking, drug abuse, angst
Genre: AU, angst, music, school life
Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man…don’t own…nuff said…also b4 I’m sued I so don’t own Doubt and Trust by Access! So yeah don’t sue I’m dead broke…really!
Summery: Allen and Kanda made a promise as kids to become musicians but due to circumstances they drifted apart. Now Allen is attempting to make that dream a reality and wants Kanda to be there, but will he be able to save Kanda from what is causing him to self destruct?
A/N: Needed to do a band fic for the exorcist seriously! This fiction was born out my over fascination with band music (well I don’t know most of the terms so I’m winging it). Though I wrote an oneshot music fic before but that’s an original thing so yeah…!! R&R k!!
Enjoy!!
Chapter 1 - The Perfect Band
“Man I can’t wait till school is over! Today’s audition is gonna rock!” a boy with spiky white hair cheered, his one visible gray eye sparkled in excitement. “I’ve been waiting for this day since forever!”
“Calm down Allen.” a female voice chuckled, her hand threaded through her dark green hair. “You’re way too eager.” deep purple eyes shone with mirth.
“Can you blame the kid Lenalee he’s excited and frankly I am too.”
Allen turned to face the redhead in front of him a huge grin in place.
“Lavi you think we’ll find our lead singer?” he asked patting the bang over his left eye. “I really hope so, the registration for ‘Musical Madness’ is next week Friday and without a lead singer…well we won’t qualify…”
Lavi sighed though the excitement was still evident in his visible green eye, the other was covered by a black eye patch.
“Stop fretting so much Allen even without a lead singer we still rock!” he pumped his fists in the air. “Besides everyone who’s anyone would be dying just to be apart of out band!”
Allen smiled at that. It wouldn’t do him any good to be freaking out over finding his band a lead singer after all they’ve been advertising for weeks now and by the amount of people that signed up to audition he was sure their lead singer would be one of them. Somehow the thought made him beyond excited. He’ll be that much closer to fulfilling their dream…
He stilled in his thoughts…why was he still remembering that stupid promise he made with that cold son of a bastard years ago! It was like his drive to become a musician was born when he met that raven haired boy. ‘I guess I wanted to impress you Kan-’
Well speak of the devil and he’ll appear. Something like that right?
The doors to the canteen burst open revealing a scowling yet beautiful boy; his long raven hair was pulled up in a ponytail at the top of his head while parts that were not caught hung at the sides of his face. Fierce deep brown eyes focused only on what was ahead taking in no thought on what was on either side or behind him. He wore the standard uniform but his was altered in that it was tighter than normal with various chains and accessories adorning his body. To top it off he wore five pairs of earrings on each ear all of which were of varying sizes.
All eyes were on this beautiful boy it was as if he was some sort of a god of splendor though no one approached him. He was the sort of unfeasible beauty, desired by all but was out of their reach. He knew this and gained his reputation by exploiting that privilege of being able to have anyone he wants. No one is able to hold his interest for long he always moves on to the next after he gets bored. His persona and his attitude are what make him so complicated. Though he seems unattainable he really isn’t. After all Kanda Yuu is the whore of the school.
Allen couldn’t help but feel aroused when his eye landed on the raven. From as long as he could remember he always had these feelings for the boy even when they were best friends. It was hard to believe that someone as cheery and happy as him fell for someone as cold and dead to the world as Kanda. Though Kanda wasn’t like that before, he was calm and gentle when he was younger but something happened that changed him…that made him break off his friendship with Allen.
The whole canteen was stuck in their lust filled gaze until:
“Hey Yuu! Over here come on sit with us!” Lavi called waving in the direction the raven stood with his lunch tray. “We have plenty of seats over here.”
Allen shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. He gave Lavi one of his ‘what the hell do you think you’re doing’ looks which was followed by his ‘are you crazy’ glare. Doesn’t he know the history between them? Hell the whole school knew that they were once friends but for some odd reason they aren’t anymore. Not only that but the intense lust Allen felt when ever Kanda was near was another problem. There’s no telling when he’d just snap and fuck him then and there on the table in front of everyone to see.
Kanda however glared at Lavi and stalked over dropping his tray on the table.
“What the fuck did I tell you about calling me by that name eh baka usagi?” he snapped taking the seat beside him none the less, the canteen was really packed. “Next time you say that name I’ll rip your tongue out.”
Lavi chuckled turning his chair to face the one Kanda occupied. A sly smile tugged his lips as he drunk in the appearance of the pale skin Kanda so gracefully allowed shown. He licked his lips in anticipation.
“Wouldn’t it be bad if my tongue was ripped out I wouldn’t be able to kiss ya da way you like.” he reinforced his point by proceeding to kiss Kanda senseless his tongue wasting no time forcing its way into the warm cavern. “Nee Yuu.” the words were whispered softly.
He was about to kiss Kanda again when he yelped in pain. Something hard connected with his shin painfully. He jumped up from his chair in an attempt to tend to his abused right shin. That was when he remembered something important…that Allen was there.
And everyone knows: Allen + people being all intimate with Kanda when he couldn’t = a very pissed and homicidal Allen. Such can be seen by the murderous aura he was now currently sporting.
Lavi quickly backed away from Kanda in an attempt to lessen the killing aura directed at him. It’s not like he was involved with Kanda or anything, sure he liked him before but he’s already dating someone. So he only kisses Kanda once in a while because he can and besides Kanda himself doesn’t mind it. When he found out about Allen and him he promised he’d back off but it looks like he’s breaking his promises.
Kanda however didn’t look like he cared about what ever promise Lavi made with Allen because he grabbed him and with a growl of ‘you call that a kiss’ he immersed himself in kissing Lavi. Allen wanted to punch them both but he tried control his anger by balling his hand into fists, his nails cutting into his skin leaving small crescent shaped wounds. He was quickly losing his appetite which was something that rarely happened.
He made a disgusted sound before getting up and throwing his book bag over his shoulders. His gaze met Lenalee’s wordlessly telling her that he was leaving and without a word said he left to go to his next class that wouldn’t be starting for another half hour. Before he left the canteen he glanced back to see if either one noticed his departure but when he saw them still sucking face his anger boiled. ‘I seriously need to calm my self down’ with that in mind he headed to the roof to clear his head.
Once Allen left Kanda pulled away from Lavi both a little out of breath and lightheaded from the kiss. He used the back of his hand to wipe off the excess saliva that dribbled down the corner of his lips then proceeded to eat his lunch - Soba - as if nothing had happened. Lavi shook his head at Kanda’s response or lack there of.
“That was harsh Yuu, using me as a tool ta get Allen jealous then tossing me away when you’re done.” he whined but Kanda just ignored him in favor of eating his lunch.
Lavi sighed when he saw that he wasn’t going to get anything more from the raven haired beauty. Now he has to worry about dealing with Allen, it’s not like he kisses Kanda to annoy the hell out of him it’s just something that happens. Besides Allen knows he’s going out with Tyki so it isn’t like he was stealing Kanda away from him…right?
Lenalee who was quiet throughout the entire ordeal decided to speak up.
“Kanda, you know Allen really loves you a lot so why do you always hurt him like this?” she asked, it didn’t make any sense why was Kanda acting like a total bitchy bastard? “Do you really want him to hate you that much?”
Kanda stopped eating then raised his head to stare into her warm violet eyes his own a frozen pool of blue.
“Yes.”
Lenalee sighed at what Kanda said and she shook her head as she thought how stupid they both were acting.
“Even though that’s your wish, you do know Allen will still love you no matter how much you hurt him right?” she added as an afterthought.
Kanda put down his chopsticks his eyes shadowed by his hair.
“Yeah I know.” ‘but it’s better if he hated me it’d make dying so much easier’
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Allen lay back with his hands thrown across his eyes shielding them from the harsh glare of the sun. He growled lowly as his hands gripped the fabric over his chest, most specifically his heart. It hurt like hell every time he was near Kanda…every time he heard that Kanda went out with someone, kissed someone, fucked someone. It burned him to no end as to why Kanda would do that when he knew how he felt about him. He should hate him but somehow he couldn’t, it was like he knew something was wrong and he was trying to protect him by pushing him away.
“Everything was fine until the day after Kanda’s birthday that year.” he whispered to the sky, sorrow and hurt lining his usually cheerful voice.
The day after Kanda’s twelfth birthday he changed completely becoming the cold and shameless whore he is now. He gave up on their dreams and placed all his focus on ruining his own life. Why Kanda would purposely do that to himself remains a mystery to Allen even till now. Not only that but he wants to know what happened that made Kanda that way, if he knew that much he’d probably be able to understand him more.
He got up brushing himself off. The bell rang a few minutes ago he was already eight minutes late for his class. When he was on both his feet he looked over the railing, instantly spotting Kanda who was leaning against the large barren cherry blossom tree in the school yard smoking a cigarette. A sad smile crossed his lips.
‘I don’t understand you anymore…Kanda.’
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
“Allen man can you forgive me I’m seriously sorry, I didn’t mean ta kiss Yuu it was an unconscious impulse ya know like for when people blink and stuff.” Lavi pleaded. “I meant nothing by it I swear!”
All three were currently in their school’s auditorium setting up for the audition that is supposed to start in a few minutes. But prior to that Allen has been ignoring Lavi since after lunch and Lavi - who was not experienced in handling a moody and quiet Allen - has been apologizing from that time up till now but so far he had no luck
“Come on Allen say something! I’m really sorry and I won’t do it again even if Yuu is da one who kisses me first!”
Allen’s eyes were hidden by his hair when he turned to face Lavi who flinched at the cold aura surrounding the white haired teen. When he saw Allen raise his left hand he closed his eyes waiting for the impact but it never came. He opened his eyes and saw Allen giving him a cheeky grin.
“You’re forgiven.” he said with a smile, internally smirking that he got Lavi down on his knees and begging him for forgiveness.
Lavi however was really happy he got up from the ground and pulled Allen in a tight hug.
“For real?! Thanks man I though you were gunna kick me outta da band ya kno.” he sobbed happy to finally be forgiven.
Allen chuckled to himself.
“Why would I? You’re the best drummer there is I’d be crazy if I gave you up.” he replied in an attempt to put the distressed redhead at ease. “Besides I was just punishing you.” his grip suddenly tightened around Lavi who yelped in pain. “But next time you won’t get off with plain avoidance that’s for sure.”
Lavi gulped at the warning tone in Allen’s voice, now maybe he will stay away from Kanda. ‘Yep most definitely there’s no way I’m kissing him again…’
Once everything was set up and organized they took their seats at the judges table looking over the list they took from the notice board. The students would be filing in any minute and Allen couldn’t wait.
“Say Allen, why do we need to look for a lead singer? Any one of us could have done that.” Lavi always wondered why Allen was going through all of this when either one of them could do the job. “I mean if we need a lead singer you could do it your voice rocks.”
Allen had the decency to blush, he already knew he had an awesome voice but the thing is he was more comfortable sing or rap as back up. He wanted someone who will sing their heart and soul out as he wasn’t much of a singer in that aspect. A lead singer’s passion must be singing. His real passion lies in playing the guitar and that was what he dedicated his life to.
“Like I told you before Lavi,” he began. “a lead singer’s pas-”
“Yeah yeah yeah I get it already.” Lavi interrupted, he waved his drumsticks in the air. “Lets get psyched up for this audition then!”
“Speaking of being psyched what’s with these outfits Allen?” Lenalee asked. “Not that I don’t like them but in a way aren’t they over kill?”
Allen looked over to Lenalee taking in her appearance. She wore a short pleated black skirt with red trimmings at the end and tight red tube top that showed off her curves along with a half length long sleeved black jacket with red buttons. To complete her outfit she had on a pair of black and red horizontal stripped thigh length socks and a pair of black knee length boots. The accessories she wore matched her outfit, down to the choker, wristbands, earrings and rings. All had onyx and ruby gems and were silver.
He then moved his gaze to Lavi who was wearing a pair of loose fitting black cargo pants, shin length combat boots and a red marina. His jacket was like Lenalee’s but longer in length and he wore a black headband that kept his hair up and spiked. The only thing that didn’t match his outfit was the dark green scarf he wore around his neck but that was something he always had on even when he was in uniform. He had on various bracelets and metal bands on both his hands, two rings one on his pinky and the other on his middle and last but not least a pair of sliver hoop earring.
“Well we have to look the part after all.” Allen said after a while then walked over to the full size mirror near the door gazing approvingly at his reflection. He wore a fairly tight fitting ripped black jeans pant with a pair of black shin length boots and a red long sleeved shirt - the first three buttons open - along with a black vest. A single sliver ring adorn his ring finger on his right hand while his left hand was covered with a black glove, to top it off he wore a buckle style choker that had a weird cross attached to it suspended by a silver chain, “Plus I love making some heads spin.” he used his right hand to comb his hair back revealing the red tattoo he had done on his left eye.
Lenalee scoffed at what Allen said.
“You mean you want to lure Kanda in with your looks.” she snorted. “That’s why you had that tattoo done over your left eye and dyed your hair white. I mean you even took up wearing gray contacts! And I’m sure it’s because you heard Kanda only goes out with people who stood out.”
Allen blush beet red. It was true that was the only reason why he started wearing contacts, dyed his hair and got that tattoo three years ago. Too bad it never worked out liked he planned. Instead of Kanda running to him with open arms he avoided him even more. ‘Officially the worst years of my life.’
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he played ignorant. “The look matches so I kept it, Kanda…had nothing to do with it.”
“Sure he didn’t.” Lenalee added in a drawl. “But Allen you need to stop, you’re only hurting yourself.” her voice was calming almost mothering as she lectured him. “Kanda doesn’t like you the way you would like; hell I think he hates you most of the time. So for the sake of your own happiness just give up on him, it wouldn’t have worked either way you two are too different.”
Lavi kept silent throughout Lenalee’s motherly harangue, she really did care about Allen. The crush she had on him for two years could suffice for that. He could see where she was coming from as someone who was rejected by the one you loved for a person who didn’t give a rat’s ass about them.
Yep Allen turned her down for Kanda and even though he still hasn’t gained Kanda’s love much less attention he’s still trying. While Lenalee’s been there waiting for him to quit and turn to her. It’s a good thing she gave up and found someone else or she might have been waiting forever. But the thing is even though she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Allen she still wants him to be happy. And pursuing Kanda is not going to make him happy, this she needs to force into his skull.
“I’m not saying this as the girl who was hounding after your attention, but as your friend, classmate and band mate, you need to stop chasing after Kanda, Allen. I’m worried about you I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.” she begged.
Allen had his head down, his hair obscuring his eyes from view. He sighed then brought his head up facing Lenalee who gasped at the expression on his face. Lavi however smiled, he knew what Allen was thinking and if he was in the same position as him he would do the same thing too.
“Thanks for your worry Lenalee but I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy I can take care of myself.” the smile Allen had on wasn’t sad it was a determined and fierce one. “Besides Kanda needs my help.” he walked away from the mirror. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know this but Kanda was completely different when he was younger, he was shy and quiet so to speak. I’m sure something happened back then that caused him to become what he is like now…I just need to find out what it was so that I can help him.” A bright smile lit his face. “I know the Kanda I once knew is in there somewhere and I’ll do what ever it takes to find him.”
Lenalee was taken aback, ‘he loves him that much?’ Even if she did manage to get Allen to give up on Kanda and date someone she was sure that he’d never love them as he does Kanda. She now saw the extent of love Allen had for Kanda it was something that Allen couldn’t give up, wouldn’t give up no matter what. At Allen’s smile she couldn’t help but smile herself. And who was she to tell him to relinquish what he treasures this much?
“Sorry Allen I guess I was butting into your business again.” she apologized twirling her fingers in one of her ponytails a gesture she only does when she was embarrassed.
Allen smiled at the gesture, Lenalee was really cute. If the circumstances have been any different he might had fallen for her. ‘No…’ he thought, ‘Knowing me I might have cheated on her with Kanda…and then break up with her for him…’ yep that pretty much summed up his life if he met her before he did Kanda, he’s kind of a bastard isn’t he?
“It’s no problem. I guess my little obsession is getting out of hand.” he chuckled nervously it was hard admitting that he was obsessed with Kanda.
“Yeah and you know what else is getting outta hand.” Lavi interrupted, he knock the table with his drumsticks to get their attention once he got it he pointed to the door. “You two talking and taking up the time for our audition!”
Allen and Lenalee blushed when they saw the bunch of kids standing outside waiting to audition. ‘I hope they didn’t hear me!’ they both thought simultaneously as they went to take their seats beside Lavi.
“Hehe um sorry to ah keep you waiting.” Allen began then cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming and I wish you all the best of luck!”
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Allen sighed as he made his way down the halls towards the music room. It wasn’t as if the audition was a bust, hell some of the people who performed had good voices. That’s just it they only had a good voice their passion for singing was the same as Kanda’s love for him: it wasn’t there. ‘As yet’ he added as an afterthought to the Kanda’s love part. He really wanted to win this competition and not with someone with a half-assed talent.
Ok maybe he was being biased but he needed to be strict in order to have the best band if he wants to win ‘Musical Madness’ and get signed with the best record label out there ‘Black Order’. There were the top of the top the best of the best; if you were signed with them it means you have one amazing talent and that’s what he wants for his band: the absolute best. Lavi rocks when it comes to the drums and Lenalee kicks ass when it comes to the keyboard and mixing add him with his mad guitar skills and composing capabilities and they make one sick(1) band. Now all they need is a lead vocalist with the same burning passion that they have and you could call them the perfect band.
“I’m down to five people after I get the extra equipment we’ll make them perform again and then we’ll choose the winner.” he decided as he stopped in front of the music room. He was about to open the door when he heard something that made him freeze in his tracks. It was the sound of a guitar intro. But that wasn’t what made him stop in his tracks it was the fact that the song was familiar….too familiar.
‘Doubt and Trust…’
~owari mo miezu hashiri nukeru,
yasuragi wa tooku sugata mo naku,
kodoku wo fuujikomete,
tozashikakeru manazashi.
habataku mono o mukaeru sora,
shihaisareru no o osoreyashinai,
akogareru mabayusa wa,
subete o kaeru tame ni.
dare mo yurusazu ni,
doko he yukeru darou?~
The person paused for a minute before they began singing again.
~ hikari no moto Yami wa umare,
shinjitsu wa itsuwari ni yureru,
kokoro o tsukisasu,
fureta yoru o koorasete mo,
yume to iu yokubou no kage o,
yobitsuzukeru.
kimi no tsumi to itami o,
shinjite iku.~
The sound of the guitar continued on with out missing a beat, the person playing seemed to know what they were doing as everything was flawless and with perfect timing.
~ zenbu hoshii to sasayaku koe,
nakushiteku koto ni oitsukezu ni,
saki made motomeru yubi,
tsumetasa ni kizukanai.
ai o nokosu nara,
tometa kuchibiru ni.~
There was another pause like before.
~hikari dake ga yami o unde,
nukumori wa utagai kasanete,
tadoritsuku omoi,
kawasu mune ni chikau mono ga,
eien no kizu de kamawanai,
kizami tsukete.
toki ni kizuku hazama ni,
kieru mae ni.~
Another pause but this time it was longer, more like a guitar solo. The precession and flawless execution of the solo made Allen itch to play his. And the song - that still burned his memories - made him want to sing along with the person. He held his breath as the guitar solo came closer to its end and the person got ready to sing the final verse. The end was always the best part of the song for Allen this was where all the fervor that the artist keeps in is released.
~ hikari no moto yami wa umare,
shinjitsu wa itsuwari ni yureru,
kokoro o tsukisasu,
fureta yoru o koorasete mo,
yume to iu yokubou no kage o,
yobitsuzukeru.
kimi no tsumi to itami o,
shinjite iku…~
The song was over but the person continued to play his guitar. After giving the final note everything went silent. Allen released the breath he was holding, that was the best he’s ever heard today. The voice, the emotion, the perfect execution of both! He must have him in his band personal bias be damned. That was what he wanted all along he didn’t want to take on the role of being the lead singer because he knew someone more fit for the position. He was just buying time to muster up as much courage to ask him to join his band. With his mind made up he pushed the door open and stepped in. Startled deep brown eyes met determined gray ones.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Allen just smiled.
“Join my band…Kanda.”
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Mix-tape time!
Doubt and Trust - Access (I always imagined Kanda singing this)
A/N: (1) Sick - I always say that things are sick you know the good sick as in ‘wow that’s totally awesome!’ and not the bad sick…
Ah my first chappie is finished!! Wooh whoo!! Yeah! Okay like I mentioned for Acquiescence it’s the same for this, new stories gets last priorities over old stories. So yeah teasing ya wit this! Sorry 4 being mean but!!! I just hafta post it…you know when the plot bunny get ya and stuff hehehe. Also I apologize for making Kanda a well…man-whore among other stuff but it was needed for my story….Well till next time!!!! (Sorry had this one for a while too....)
Next chapter: Piecing it together
Ja na!
Kaos
Author: Dark Angel Kaos
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Pairings: Allen x Kanda (AreKan), Tyki x Lavi (Lucky), Cross x Lenalee
Rating: PG-18
Warnings: Yaoi, shonen ai, language, OOCness, suicidal tendencies, Japanese songs (just one), family issues, smoking, drug abuse, angst
Genre: AU, angst, music, school life
Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man…don’t own…nuff said…also b4 I’m sued I so don’t own Doubt and Trust by Access! So yeah don’t sue I’m dead broke…really!
Summery: Allen and Kanda made a promise as kids to become musicians but due to circumstances they drifted apart. Now Allen is attempting to make that dream a reality and wants Kanda to be there, but will he be able to save Kanda from what is causing him to self destruct?
A/N: Needed to do a band fic for the exorcist seriously! This fiction was born out my over fascination with band music (well I don’t know most of the terms so I’m winging it). Though I wrote an oneshot music fic before but that’s an original thing so yeah…!! R&R k!!
Enjoy!!
Chapter 1 - The Perfect Band
“Man I can’t wait till school is over! Today’s audition is gonna rock!” a boy with spiky white hair cheered, his one visible gray eye sparkled in excitement. “I’ve been waiting for this day since forever!”
“Calm down Allen.” a female voice chuckled, her hand threaded through her dark green hair. “You’re way too eager.” deep purple eyes shone with mirth.
“Can you blame the kid Lenalee he’s excited and frankly I am too.”
Allen turned to face the redhead in front of him a huge grin in place.
“Lavi you think we’ll find our lead singer?” he asked patting the bang over his left eye. “I really hope so, the registration for ‘Musical Madness’ is next week Friday and without a lead singer…well we won’t qualify…”
Lavi sighed though the excitement was still evident in his visible green eye, the other was covered by a black eye patch.
“Stop fretting so much Allen even without a lead singer we still rock!” he pumped his fists in the air. “Besides everyone who’s anyone would be dying just to be apart of out band!”
Allen smiled at that. It wouldn’t do him any good to be freaking out over finding his band a lead singer after all they’ve been advertising for weeks now and by the amount of people that signed up to audition he was sure their lead singer would be one of them. Somehow the thought made him beyond excited. He’ll be that much closer to fulfilling their dream…
He stilled in his thoughts…why was he still remembering that stupid promise he made with that cold son of a bastard years ago! It was like his drive to become a musician was born when he met that raven haired boy. ‘I guess I wanted to impress you Kan-’
Well speak of the devil and he’ll appear. Something like that right?
The doors to the canteen burst open revealing a scowling yet beautiful boy; his long raven hair was pulled up in a ponytail at the top of his head while parts that were not caught hung at the sides of his face. Fierce deep brown eyes focused only on what was ahead taking in no thought on what was on either side or behind him. He wore the standard uniform but his was altered in that it was tighter than normal with various chains and accessories adorning his body. To top it off he wore five pairs of earrings on each ear all of which were of varying sizes.
All eyes were on this beautiful boy it was as if he was some sort of a god of splendor though no one approached him. He was the sort of unfeasible beauty, desired by all but was out of their reach. He knew this and gained his reputation by exploiting that privilege of being able to have anyone he wants. No one is able to hold his interest for long he always moves on to the next after he gets bored. His persona and his attitude are what make him so complicated. Though he seems unattainable he really isn’t. After all Kanda Yuu is the whore of the school.
Allen couldn’t help but feel aroused when his eye landed on the raven. From as long as he could remember he always had these feelings for the boy even when they were best friends. It was hard to believe that someone as cheery and happy as him fell for someone as cold and dead to the world as Kanda. Though Kanda wasn’t like that before, he was calm and gentle when he was younger but something happened that changed him…that made him break off his friendship with Allen.
The whole canteen was stuck in their lust filled gaze until:
“Hey Yuu! Over here come on sit with us!” Lavi called waving in the direction the raven stood with his lunch tray. “We have plenty of seats over here.”
Allen shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. He gave Lavi one of his ‘what the hell do you think you’re doing’ looks which was followed by his ‘are you crazy’ glare. Doesn’t he know the history between them? Hell the whole school knew that they were once friends but for some odd reason they aren’t anymore. Not only that but the intense lust Allen felt when ever Kanda was near was another problem. There’s no telling when he’d just snap and fuck him then and there on the table in front of everyone to see.
Kanda however glared at Lavi and stalked over dropping his tray on the table.
“What the fuck did I tell you about calling me by that name eh baka usagi?” he snapped taking the seat beside him none the less, the canteen was really packed. “Next time you say that name I’ll rip your tongue out.”
Lavi chuckled turning his chair to face the one Kanda occupied. A sly smile tugged his lips as he drunk in the appearance of the pale skin Kanda so gracefully allowed shown. He licked his lips in anticipation.
“Wouldn’t it be bad if my tongue was ripped out I wouldn’t be able to kiss ya da way you like.” he reinforced his point by proceeding to kiss Kanda senseless his tongue wasting no time forcing its way into the warm cavern. “Nee Yuu.” the words were whispered softly.
He was about to kiss Kanda again when he yelped in pain. Something hard connected with his shin painfully. He jumped up from his chair in an attempt to tend to his abused right shin. That was when he remembered something important…that Allen was there.
And everyone knows: Allen + people being all intimate with Kanda when he couldn’t = a very pissed and homicidal Allen. Such can be seen by the murderous aura he was now currently sporting.
Lavi quickly backed away from Kanda in an attempt to lessen the killing aura directed at him. It’s not like he was involved with Kanda or anything, sure he liked him before but he’s already dating someone. So he only kisses Kanda once in a while because he can and besides Kanda himself doesn’t mind it. When he found out about Allen and him he promised he’d back off but it looks like he’s breaking his promises.
Kanda however didn’t look like he cared about what ever promise Lavi made with Allen because he grabbed him and with a growl of ‘you call that a kiss’ he immersed himself in kissing Lavi. Allen wanted to punch them both but he tried control his anger by balling his hand into fists, his nails cutting into his skin leaving small crescent shaped wounds. He was quickly losing his appetite which was something that rarely happened.
He made a disgusted sound before getting up and throwing his book bag over his shoulders. His gaze met Lenalee’s wordlessly telling her that he was leaving and without a word said he left to go to his next class that wouldn’t be starting for another half hour. Before he left the canteen he glanced back to see if either one noticed his departure but when he saw them still sucking face his anger boiled. ‘I seriously need to calm my self down’ with that in mind he headed to the roof to clear his head.
Once Allen left Kanda pulled away from Lavi both a little out of breath and lightheaded from the kiss. He used the back of his hand to wipe off the excess saliva that dribbled down the corner of his lips then proceeded to eat his lunch - Soba - as if nothing had happened. Lavi shook his head at Kanda’s response or lack there of.
“That was harsh Yuu, using me as a tool ta get Allen jealous then tossing me away when you’re done.” he whined but Kanda just ignored him in favor of eating his lunch.
Lavi sighed when he saw that he wasn’t going to get anything more from the raven haired beauty. Now he has to worry about dealing with Allen, it’s not like he kisses Kanda to annoy the hell out of him it’s just something that happens. Besides Allen knows he’s going out with Tyki so it isn’t like he was stealing Kanda away from him…right?
Lenalee who was quiet throughout the entire ordeal decided to speak up.
“Kanda, you know Allen really loves you a lot so why do you always hurt him like this?” she asked, it didn’t make any sense why was Kanda acting like a total bitchy bastard? “Do you really want him to hate you that much?”
Kanda stopped eating then raised his head to stare into her warm violet eyes his own a frozen pool of blue.
“Yes.”
Lenalee sighed at what Kanda said and she shook her head as she thought how stupid they both were acting.
“Even though that’s your wish, you do know Allen will still love you no matter how much you hurt him right?” she added as an afterthought.
Kanda put down his chopsticks his eyes shadowed by his hair.
“Yeah I know.” ‘but it’s better if he hated me it’d make dying so much easier’
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Allen lay back with his hands thrown across his eyes shielding them from the harsh glare of the sun. He growled lowly as his hands gripped the fabric over his chest, most specifically his heart. It hurt like hell every time he was near Kanda…every time he heard that Kanda went out with someone, kissed someone, fucked someone. It burned him to no end as to why Kanda would do that when he knew how he felt about him. He should hate him but somehow he couldn’t, it was like he knew something was wrong and he was trying to protect him by pushing him away.
“Everything was fine until the day after Kanda’s birthday that year.” he whispered to the sky, sorrow and hurt lining his usually cheerful voice.
The day after Kanda’s twelfth birthday he changed completely becoming the cold and shameless whore he is now. He gave up on their dreams and placed all his focus on ruining his own life. Why Kanda would purposely do that to himself remains a mystery to Allen even till now. Not only that but he wants to know what happened that made Kanda that way, if he knew that much he’d probably be able to understand him more.
He got up brushing himself off. The bell rang a few minutes ago he was already eight minutes late for his class. When he was on both his feet he looked over the railing, instantly spotting Kanda who was leaning against the large barren cherry blossom tree in the school yard smoking a cigarette. A sad smile crossed his lips.
‘I don’t understand you anymore…Kanda.’
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
“Allen man can you forgive me I’m seriously sorry, I didn’t mean ta kiss Yuu it was an unconscious impulse ya know like for when people blink and stuff.” Lavi pleaded. “I meant nothing by it I swear!”
All three were currently in their school’s auditorium setting up for the audition that is supposed to start in a few minutes. But prior to that Allen has been ignoring Lavi since after lunch and Lavi - who was not experienced in handling a moody and quiet Allen - has been apologizing from that time up till now but so far he had no luck
“Come on Allen say something! I’m really sorry and I won’t do it again even if Yuu is da one who kisses me first!”
Allen’s eyes were hidden by his hair when he turned to face Lavi who flinched at the cold aura surrounding the white haired teen. When he saw Allen raise his left hand he closed his eyes waiting for the impact but it never came. He opened his eyes and saw Allen giving him a cheeky grin.
“You’re forgiven.” he said with a smile, internally smirking that he got Lavi down on his knees and begging him for forgiveness.
Lavi however was really happy he got up from the ground and pulled Allen in a tight hug.
“For real?! Thanks man I though you were gunna kick me outta da band ya kno.” he sobbed happy to finally be forgiven.
Allen chuckled to himself.
“Why would I? You’re the best drummer there is I’d be crazy if I gave you up.” he replied in an attempt to put the distressed redhead at ease. “Besides I was just punishing you.” his grip suddenly tightened around Lavi who yelped in pain. “But next time you won’t get off with plain avoidance that’s for sure.”
Lavi gulped at the warning tone in Allen’s voice, now maybe he will stay away from Kanda. ‘Yep most definitely there’s no way I’m kissing him again…’
Once everything was set up and organized they took their seats at the judges table looking over the list they took from the notice board. The students would be filing in any minute and Allen couldn’t wait.
“Say Allen, why do we need to look for a lead singer? Any one of us could have done that.” Lavi always wondered why Allen was going through all of this when either one of them could do the job. “I mean if we need a lead singer you could do it your voice rocks.”
Allen had the decency to blush, he already knew he had an awesome voice but the thing is he was more comfortable sing or rap as back up. He wanted someone who will sing their heart and soul out as he wasn’t much of a singer in that aspect. A lead singer’s passion must be singing. His real passion lies in playing the guitar and that was what he dedicated his life to.
“Like I told you before Lavi,” he began. “a lead singer’s pas-”
“Yeah yeah yeah I get it already.” Lavi interrupted, he waved his drumsticks in the air. “Lets get psyched up for this audition then!”
“Speaking of being psyched what’s with these outfits Allen?” Lenalee asked. “Not that I don’t like them but in a way aren’t they over kill?”
Allen looked over to Lenalee taking in her appearance. She wore a short pleated black skirt with red trimmings at the end and tight red tube top that showed off her curves along with a half length long sleeved black jacket with red buttons. To complete her outfit she had on a pair of black and red horizontal stripped thigh length socks and a pair of black knee length boots. The accessories she wore matched her outfit, down to the choker, wristbands, earrings and rings. All had onyx and ruby gems and were silver.
He then moved his gaze to Lavi who was wearing a pair of loose fitting black cargo pants, shin length combat boots and a red marina. His jacket was like Lenalee’s but longer in length and he wore a black headband that kept his hair up and spiked. The only thing that didn’t match his outfit was the dark green scarf he wore around his neck but that was something he always had on even when he was in uniform. He had on various bracelets and metal bands on both his hands, two rings one on his pinky and the other on his middle and last but not least a pair of sliver hoop earring.
“Well we have to look the part after all.” Allen said after a while then walked over to the full size mirror near the door gazing approvingly at his reflection. He wore a fairly tight fitting ripped black jeans pant with a pair of black shin length boots and a red long sleeved shirt - the first three buttons open - along with a black vest. A single sliver ring adorn his ring finger on his right hand while his left hand was covered with a black glove, to top it off he wore a buckle style choker that had a weird cross attached to it suspended by a silver chain, “Plus I love making some heads spin.” he used his right hand to comb his hair back revealing the red tattoo he had done on his left eye.
Lenalee scoffed at what Allen said.
“You mean you want to lure Kanda in with your looks.” she snorted. “That’s why you had that tattoo done over your left eye and dyed your hair white. I mean you even took up wearing gray contacts! And I’m sure it’s because you heard Kanda only goes out with people who stood out.”
Allen blush beet red. It was true that was the only reason why he started wearing contacts, dyed his hair and got that tattoo three years ago. Too bad it never worked out liked he planned. Instead of Kanda running to him with open arms he avoided him even more. ‘Officially the worst years of my life.’
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he played ignorant. “The look matches so I kept it, Kanda…had nothing to do with it.”
“Sure he didn’t.” Lenalee added in a drawl. “But Allen you need to stop, you’re only hurting yourself.” her voice was calming almost mothering as she lectured him. “Kanda doesn’t like you the way you would like; hell I think he hates you most of the time. So for the sake of your own happiness just give up on him, it wouldn’t have worked either way you two are too different.”
Lavi kept silent throughout Lenalee’s motherly harangue, she really did care about Allen. The crush she had on him for two years could suffice for that. He could see where she was coming from as someone who was rejected by the one you loved for a person who didn’t give a rat’s ass about them.
Yep Allen turned her down for Kanda and even though he still hasn’t gained Kanda’s love much less attention he’s still trying. While Lenalee’s been there waiting for him to quit and turn to her. It’s a good thing she gave up and found someone else or she might have been waiting forever. But the thing is even though she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Allen she still wants him to be happy. And pursuing Kanda is not going to make him happy, this she needs to force into his skull.
“I’m not saying this as the girl who was hounding after your attention, but as your friend, classmate and band mate, you need to stop chasing after Kanda, Allen. I’m worried about you I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.” she begged.
Allen had his head down, his hair obscuring his eyes from view. He sighed then brought his head up facing Lenalee who gasped at the expression on his face. Lavi however smiled, he knew what Allen was thinking and if he was in the same position as him he would do the same thing too.
“Thanks for your worry Lenalee but I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy I can take care of myself.” the smile Allen had on wasn’t sad it was a determined and fierce one. “Besides Kanda needs my help.” he walked away from the mirror. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know this but Kanda was completely different when he was younger, he was shy and quiet so to speak. I’m sure something happened back then that caused him to become what he is like now…I just need to find out what it was so that I can help him.” A bright smile lit his face. “I know the Kanda I once knew is in there somewhere and I’ll do what ever it takes to find him.”
Lenalee was taken aback, ‘he loves him that much?’ Even if she did manage to get Allen to give up on Kanda and date someone she was sure that he’d never love them as he does Kanda. She now saw the extent of love Allen had for Kanda it was something that Allen couldn’t give up, wouldn’t give up no matter what. At Allen’s smile she couldn’t help but smile herself. And who was she to tell him to relinquish what he treasures this much?
“Sorry Allen I guess I was butting into your business again.” she apologized twirling her fingers in one of her ponytails a gesture she only does when she was embarrassed.
Allen smiled at the gesture, Lenalee was really cute. If the circumstances have been any different he might had fallen for her. ‘No…’ he thought, ‘Knowing me I might have cheated on her with Kanda…and then break up with her for him…’ yep that pretty much summed up his life if he met her before he did Kanda, he’s kind of a bastard isn’t he?
“It’s no problem. I guess my little obsession is getting out of hand.” he chuckled nervously it was hard admitting that he was obsessed with Kanda.
“Yeah and you know what else is getting outta hand.” Lavi interrupted, he knock the table with his drumsticks to get their attention once he got it he pointed to the door. “You two talking and taking up the time for our audition!”
Allen and Lenalee blushed when they saw the bunch of kids standing outside waiting to audition. ‘I hope they didn’t hear me!’ they both thought simultaneously as they went to take their seats beside Lavi.
“Hehe um sorry to ah keep you waiting.” Allen began then cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming and I wish you all the best of luck!”
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Allen sighed as he made his way down the halls towards the music room. It wasn’t as if the audition was a bust, hell some of the people who performed had good voices. That’s just it they only had a good voice their passion for singing was the same as Kanda’s love for him: it wasn’t there. ‘As yet’ he added as an afterthought to the Kanda’s love part. He really wanted to win this competition and not with someone with a half-assed talent.
Ok maybe he was being biased but he needed to be strict in order to have the best band if he wants to win ‘Musical Madness’ and get signed with the best record label out there ‘Black Order’. There were the top of the top the best of the best; if you were signed with them it means you have one amazing talent and that’s what he wants for his band: the absolute best. Lavi rocks when it comes to the drums and Lenalee kicks ass when it comes to the keyboard and mixing add him with his mad guitar skills and composing capabilities and they make one sick(1) band. Now all they need is a lead vocalist with the same burning passion that they have and you could call them the perfect band.
“I’m down to five people after I get the extra equipment we’ll make them perform again and then we’ll choose the winner.” he decided as he stopped in front of the music room. He was about to open the door when he heard something that made him freeze in his tracks. It was the sound of a guitar intro. But that wasn’t what made him stop in his tracks it was the fact that the song was familiar….too familiar.
‘Doubt and Trust…’
~owari mo miezu hashiri nukeru,
yasuragi wa tooku sugata mo naku,
kodoku wo fuujikomete,
tozashikakeru manazashi.
habataku mono o mukaeru sora,
shihaisareru no o osoreyashinai,
akogareru mabayusa wa,
subete o kaeru tame ni.
dare mo yurusazu ni,
doko he yukeru darou?~
The person paused for a minute before they began singing again.
~ hikari no moto Yami wa umare,
shinjitsu wa itsuwari ni yureru,
kokoro o tsukisasu,
fureta yoru o koorasete mo,
yume to iu yokubou no kage o,
yobitsuzukeru.
kimi no tsumi to itami o,
shinjite iku.~
The sound of the guitar continued on with out missing a beat, the person playing seemed to know what they were doing as everything was flawless and with perfect timing.
~ zenbu hoshii to sasayaku koe,
nakushiteku koto ni oitsukezu ni,
saki made motomeru yubi,
tsumetasa ni kizukanai.
ai o nokosu nara,
tometa kuchibiru ni.~
There was another pause like before.
~hikari dake ga yami o unde,
nukumori wa utagai kasanete,
tadoritsuku omoi,
kawasu mune ni chikau mono ga,
eien no kizu de kamawanai,
kizami tsukete.
toki ni kizuku hazama ni,
kieru mae ni.~
Another pause but this time it was longer, more like a guitar solo. The precession and flawless execution of the solo made Allen itch to play his. And the song - that still burned his memories - made him want to sing along with the person. He held his breath as the guitar solo came closer to its end and the person got ready to sing the final verse. The end was always the best part of the song for Allen this was where all the fervor that the artist keeps in is released.
~ hikari no moto yami wa umare,
shinjitsu wa itsuwari ni yureru,
kokoro o tsukisasu,
fureta yoru o koorasete mo,
yume to iu yokubou no kage o,
yobitsuzukeru.
kimi no tsumi to itami o,
shinjite iku…~
The song was over but the person continued to play his guitar. After giving the final note everything went silent. Allen released the breath he was holding, that was the best he’s ever heard today. The voice, the emotion, the perfect execution of both! He must have him in his band personal bias be damned. That was what he wanted all along he didn’t want to take on the role of being the lead singer because he knew someone more fit for the position. He was just buying time to muster up as much courage to ask him to join his band. With his mind made up he pushed the door open and stepped in. Startled deep brown eyes met determined gray ones.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Allen just smiled.
“Join my band…Kanda.”
M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M * M.M
Mix-tape time!
Doubt and Trust - Access (I always imagined Kanda singing this)
A/N: (1) Sick - I always say that things are sick you know the good sick as in ‘wow that’s totally awesome!’ and not the bad sick…
Ah my first chappie is finished!! Wooh whoo!! Yeah! Okay like I mentioned for Acquiescence it’s the same for this, new stories gets last priorities over old stories. So yeah teasing ya wit this! Sorry 4 being mean but!!! I just hafta post it…you know when the plot bunny get ya and stuff hehehe. Also I apologize for making Kanda a well…man-whore among other stuff but it was needed for my story….Well till next time!!!! (Sorry had this one for a while too....)
Next chapter: Piecing it together
Ja na!
Kaos