Learn to Love Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own!
Warnings: language, mentions of drugs and alcohol abuse,
A/N: sorry if this took too long, I have no net at home and they banned the use on internet at work…sadly
Enjoy!
Chapter 2 - Haunting Past
"Allen…come back…please…just come back to me…"
Kanda closed his eyes to rid the pitiful voice - his voice - from his mind. It was pathetic how one guy could make him break down so much. But it was a given, Allen had meant the world to him. Allen was his life and back then and he wasn't able to survive without him. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. How could he even think that? He had survived when he left and he would continue to do so without him.
"I don't need him," he murmured to himself in the dark. "I'll be fine."
The door was suddenly pulled roughly and the sound Lavi's worried voice rushed in.
"Yuu! Yuu are you in here?" he walked in and turned on the lights. When he saw Kanda lying down on the couch he visibly calmed down. "Yuu…"
Kanda sat up, squinting as the bright light assaulted his vision. "Didn't I tell you not to call me by that name, baka usagi."
Lavi's eyes dulled when he saw how panicked Kanda looked. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his body. "It's okay," he doubt Kanda knew how helpless he looked right now. Kanda had always wore a mask to hide his emotion but right now his mask was no where to be seen. The raw emotions he felt were on his face for all to see. "Alma, Kuu and I will always be here for you. So don't make that face. It'll be alright."
Instead of pushing Lavi back like he would have normally done, he leaned into the embrace. He couldn't believe that Allen still had so much of an effect on him but he would let it be the last time. There was no way he would allow Allen to make him break down like this again. So when the tears streamed down his cheeks he promised himself that it would be the last time he cried because of that bastard.
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He was pissed.
How could he not be? When the first thing he heard after stepping in on the set was that that bastard Allen Walker was back. He didn't even go to see Yuu, Lavi or Kuu yet, all that was on his mind was to sock that fucking Walker one in his face and maybe beat him to a bloody pulp. The asshole deserved it after what he did to his best friend.
His cobalt eyes burned with rage as he stalked down the hallways, heading in the direction he was told Allen should be. No one dared approached him, as they seemed to somehow sense the rage radiating off him in waves. He turned the corner almost running into a beautiful young lady with her long flowing pink hair caught in an upward ponytail. She immediately sidestepped him to avoid a collision but he still ended up hitting her shoulder, causing the fabrics she was carrying to fall out of her hands.
"Watch it asshole!" she yelled angrily. Her bright pink eyes burned with irritation, knowing that she had to sort out the fabrics once more. But
when she saw who it was she calmed down a bit. "Alma-nii."
Alma seemed to calm down a bit when he saw her. He stooped down to help her take up the things he accidentally knocked out of her hands. "Ah Kuu…sorry I was in a hurry."
She nodded in understanding. "I see you've heard."
If the murderous look on Alma's face was any indication. He handed Kuu the fabrics and got to his feet.
"I don't want that asshole anywhere near Yuu," he said through gritted teeth.
Kuu's eyes dulled. She didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if she didn't feel some sort of hatred for what her dad did to them, especially her
papa. He was devastated after Allen suddenly disappeared. But Allen was still the one who helped to make her who she was today. If it
wasn't for him and Kanda she would have still been on the streets, ditching school and getting high off drugs. She was only fourteen when
she began taking drugs, smoking and doing whatever it was that a normal girl her age wouldn't do. Her real parents hadn't care about her and she did what she did to get their attention. It didn't work though. They only avoided her more. Allen was her mentor back then and he had helped her to get back on the right track. He along with Kanda spent every day with her, helping her to get over her addiction and problems. They were more like parents to her than her real parents ever were, which was why she took to calling them her fathers.
But even if Allen had abandoned them she still didn't believe that he did it without a reason. There must have been a reason why he did what he did four years ago, leaving them without so much of a goodbye. She was sure everyone thought so too but they were too wrapped up in his betrayal to consider what the reason might have been. Because she knew, her dad loved her papa more than anything and wouldn't do anything to hurt him, if he couldn't help it. So until she heard the reason she would give him the benefit of the doubt.
"I know how you feel Alma-nii but…" she closed her eyes unable to finish her sentence. If she did then she would probably make Alma angrier. She sighed, opening her eyes. "If that's what papa wants too then…"
Kuu had her head down and Alma walked over to her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "I know this will be hard but…" his voice trailed off when he raised his head. He let go of Kuu's should and ran forward in a rush.
"Alma-nii?" Kuu was surprised when Alma didn't finish his sentence and even more when he suddenly ran off. She raised her head to see what was up and was shocked to see that Alma was storming towards two men. Her heart pounded away in her chest when she saw that familiar tuff of white hair. 'Dad…'
Allen looked up and before he could recognize that it was Alma who was rushing towards him, he got thrown back from a direct punch to his left cheek. He landed on the ground with a thud, tasting copper in his mouth.
"You bastard," Alma glared down at the white haired male. "How dare you come back here after what you've done?"
"Alma…" Allen wiped the blood that trickled down his cheek. His lip was cut and also the inside of his mouth. Alma didn't hold back. "I wanted to see Yuu."
Alma was seeing red and when he mentioned the name of his best friend, he felt as if he was about to lose it. He stalked forward, ready to render the white haired male to a bloody pulp but Kuu held on to him. She hooked her arms around his middle, stopping him in his tracks. The fabrics she held were tossed haphazardly on the ground.
"Alma-nii, please stop it!" Kuu pleaded. She didn't want them to fight. "Please!"
If it was anyone other than Kuu, Alma would have just shrugged them off and advanced on Allen but he allowed himself to calm down in her arms. He knew how much Allen meant to Kuu and he didn't want to rough him up in front of her.
"Sorry Kuu, I kinda lost it," his eyes dulled when he felt that the arms around him were trembling slightly. He was sure this was due to his presence so he turned and glared down at him. "Why don't you just disappear now like you did then eh? Just do us a favor and do that. Yuu's suffered enough already!"
Allen knew this was true but what about him? He regretted leaving Kanda more than anything and he was shattered by the choice he made too. Didn't they see that? He was also hurting from the choice he made. But he didn't have any choice, it was either he disappeared or else they would have been in danger.
"Don't you think I'm hurting too?" he asked Alma in a low voice. His determined gray eyes bore into the other's enraged ones. "It pained me to leave Yuu the way I did."
"Then why did you?" Alma yelled. He was trying so hard to control himself but it was proving harder by the second. "Why did you just upped and left Yuu when he was so vulnerable? He was a complete wreck after you ditched him!"
"I had no choice!" Allen yelled, getting up. "It wasn't my choice to leave…I had to."
Alma wanted to punch the guy again and again until he could no longer recognize that bastard's fucking face but Kuu was holding him back. He knew why Allen had to leave and it pissed him off more to hear the excuse from his lips. Allen wasn't the only one who disappeared without a trace that time. Nanako Takaguchi also went missing. She majored in the same area as Allen and had a crush on him so big that it bordered on crazy stalker. He heard that she got pregnant and ran off with her baby's father aka Allen. When Kanda heard that it destroyed him more. He gave up on ever loving anyone and slept around like a whore to forget his pain. That was the main reason why he despised Allen now. He hated him for stringing Kanda along while he was seeing that bitch.
"Like I would believe that," he rolled his eyes, turning away from him. "I don't care about your damn excuses." He turned back to glare at Allen. His eyes were dark and murderous. "If you ever go near to Yuu again, I'll personally make you regret it."
"What's going on here?"
Kuu looked back seeing two security guards coming towards them. 'If they get involved things could get bad…' She pulled back from Alma and turned to address them.
"Ah nothing much~" she gave them a bright smile. "I accidentally dropped the fabrics I was carrying. Do you mind helping me pick them up?" Her voice was sugary sweet. "They're pretty heavy for me to carry."
The guards instantly fell for her charm. "Oh sure!" they yelled, heading over to pick up everything that was on the ground.
"Thank you~!" Kuu's smile brightened. "Do you mind taking those to the second prep room for me?"
They needed no more persuasion. In an instant they ran off, heading towards the room Kuu mentioned. Kuu waved at them, offering her thanks then she turned to Alma.
"Alma-nii, we need to go," she urged. "Let's go see papa and Lavi-nii."
Alma wanted to protest but he followed what Kuu said. He really needed to see his best friends right now. With one last glare at Allen he turned and left. Kuu followed after him but stopped when Allen called out to her. She composed her face into a mask of indifference and faced him.
"Please excuse us Walker-san, but we have somewhere we need to be right now," she said in a clipped tone. "Cross-san will give you the schedule for you to come in for your measurements, so until then, good bye."
She left without so much of a look back. Even though her heart ached for her to do something like that to a person she once looked up to as her parent. So when she turned away she wasn't surprised that she was crying. It wasn't as if she hated Allen like the others claim to. At
least she hoped they didn't. She just didn't understand why. Why would he do something so cruel to them when he said that he loved them? That was what she didn't understand. Was everything he said to them a lie or was there some deeper meaning behind what he did?
'I'm sorry…dad,'she quickly wiped the tears from her face. It wouldn't do her any good to be emotional now. They had a job to do and for the movie to become a success they had to work together. She just hoped everyone else would put the issue behind them and work together. But she doubt that would happen.
Allen couldn't deny that he was hurt. When he watched the retreating backs of Kuu and Alma - a girl he considered as his daughter
and his good friend - he could help but feel a stabbing pain in his heart. They hated him.
"Why did this have to happen?" he gritted his teeth so hard his jaw ached. How could he once have the sweet taste of happiness one minute only to have it yanked from his lips the next? It wasn't fair. He sighed, turning back towards the private room reserved for him and Cross. It would have been better if he'd never shown up at all.
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"Shooting starts next week and already you're a bloody mess," Cross took a drag from the cigarette between his lips. "What happened? Got in a fight?"
"Shut up Cross," Allen replied walking right past him. He plopped down on the couch, turning so that his back was to Cross. "They hate me."
Cross snorted. "Of course they hate you," he took one final puff and crushed the but in the ashtray on the table. "You ditched them."
"I had no choice!" Allen all but screamed out. He was sitting up now, his eyes blazing. "If it wasn't for that bastard I'd still be with them!" He rested his head in his hands. "It's all his fucking fault."
"Yeah I know," Cross pulled out another cigarette, slipping it between his lips. He then reached into his coat pocket, taking out his lighter. "Mana went through hell trying to keep you two alive." He lighted his cigarette, taking a puff. "Even though Mana and I aren't dating anymore I'd still kill that fucker he calls a brother the minute I see him. To think he'd do that to his own brother and nephew."
He sympathized with Allen. The fates weren't kind to him at all.
"How am I gonna fix this?" Allen's muffled voice asked. "They hate me now."
"Is that going to stop you?" Cross asked, lightly exhaling the smoke from his system. "Are you going to give up because they hate you for a
misunderstanding?"
Allen raised his head, looking at Cross. "I don't know what to do." He sighed.
"Just do what you can," Cross got up, walking towards Allen. Without warning he flicked Allen's forehead. "Stop being so fucking whiny." Allen groaned and he turned his back to him. "Don't get me wrong brat. I'm only doing this to get your mental state in order. If you're too half
dead to act then that will make me look bad. So get your shit together!"
True, that was one of the reasons why Cross was helping him. But another was because it was a favour from his ex. Two years ago after the trouble with the Mafia and Yakuza subsided, Allen was rearing to go back home. But During that short span of time, Kanda had become a star and was already out of his reach. There was no way someone like Allen could be able to meet with Kanda without looking like a crazy stalker. So he was content to watching him from afar. No matter how much it hurt doing so.
Mana had asked him to help Allen get a chance to meet Kanda and that was what he did. He tried to get the idiot to go into the showbiz but Allen had turned him down saying that he didn't want to get famous. To Allen, if he did a movie and got famous from it then Kanda would think he left him to get rich, which wasn't the case. So his only condition for acting in a movie for Cross was that Kanda would have to be in it, but that in itself was a pretty hard deal to come by. Kanda and Cross worked with two different agencies and a movie that would feature both wasn't frequent. It was out of sheer luck that Cross managed to nab a partnership with Black Order production for this movie.
"You're my student so don't screw up my reputation," he continued in an annoyed tone.
"Whatever," Allen rolled his eyes. He couldn't back talk the guy. Since it was because of him that he had this once in a lifetime chance to make it better between him and his friends, especially with Kanda. He couldn't screw up this time. If it meant he had to start over from the beginning with them then he'd risk that. But he swore to himself. Before the shooting for the movie was over, he would have Kanda as his once more.
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Kuu poked her head inside the room. Her eyes brightened when she saw Kanda and Lavi sitting on the couch. She ran inside, pulling Alma along.
"Papa, Lavi-nii," she called out running inside. "Alma-nii is back."
Kanda had his head down but Lavi looked up smiling. "Hey man, how was Germany?"
Alma smiled back, even thought he was still a bit pissed from his meeting with Allen. "It was fun." He walked over to Kanda, sensing the
difference in his persona. "Yuu, did you-" his voice trailed off when he saw that Kanda's eyes were red and bloodshot. He was about to say
something but Kanda interrupted him.
"I'm fine," Kanda replied. His voice was a bit hoarse.
Kuu eyes dulled. "Papa…"
Kanda wiped at his face. "Really I'm fine," he got up. "I wish you'd stop treating me like I'm some sort of a ticking time bomb damn it! The
asshole's back, so what? I don't care."
No one believed him. By the way his jaws clenched and the pain that reflected in his eyes, it was a tell sign that he did. He never forgot about Allen no matter what he tried to let on. Alma and Lavi knew and they didn't like that. They wanted Kanda to forget him. The guy had hurt him in the worst way. He abandoned him for some stalker girl.
"Yuu, don't be pulled in," Alma said with a deep sigh. "He's a lair."
Kuu wanted to protest but he mouth wouldn't open. Did she believe that too? That Allen was a lair?
Kanda was quiet but then he got up. "I'm heading back."
"Then we're coming with you," Alma said immediately. "We're not leaving you alone."
Lavi and Kuu nodded in agreement to what Alma said. They didn't want to leave Kanda by himself, fearing the worse would happen. Kanda wasn't weak but he still was a bit unstable when it came to Allen.
"I'll join you guys after I'm done here," Kuu said with a small smile. She was the assistant designer assigned to the movie, which was a big feat for a recent university graduate. "It won't take long."
"Alright," Lavi replied, joining Kanda's side. "We'll stop by the Lotus Café and wait for you there."
"Un~!" Kuu waved, heading out the door.
"Shall we go?" Lavi turned to Kanda who just rolled his eyes.
"I'm fine by myself," Kanda replied annoyed. He hated the fact that they were treating him like he was fragile. "I'm not-"
"Yes we know Yuu. You're not fragile," Alma replied softly. He hooked his hand in his while Lavi hooked his hand on Kanda's other side. "But we want to be with you now because we care about you."
"We love you Yuu," Lavi added.
"I love you, Yuu."
Kanda closed his eyes to rid the voice. It was a lie. Those words were just lies. But why was his heart so desperately hanging on to their meaning?
"You guys are impossible," he upped for saying. "It's no wonder you don't have lovers."
Alma and Lavi made a fake appalled look, going on and on about their lack of need for a lover. Kanda found himself chuckling at what they said and soon after he was shaking his head at their apparent stupidity. He allowed himself to smile slightly, forgetting that his heart was in
complete turmoil over the return of his ex-lover.
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A/N: wow, did they get their stories mixed up or what? So they believe Allen ran off with some girl, which is so far from the truth. Looks like it will definitely take a while to get that misunderstanding worked out. It would be easier if Allen could just talk to Kanda one on one but it seems to me that Alma and Lavi would do anything in their power to prevent that. Ah~ I bet you guys can't wait to see what happens next huh? And you know what? Me too~! Next chapter will begin the start of shooting for Under the Darkness. So till then my
lovely readers~!
Next Chapter: Cluster of Stars
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