(no subject)
Title: All Coming Back To Me Now
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Salazar/Rowena
Rating: R?
Warnings: Non-graphic sex, nods to canon >.>
Summary: Songfic surrounding Salazar's departures, and then Rowena's.
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever
After the split, when Salazar left the school, Rowena went on as normal. It was the gossip of the school, her own students called her wise or cold, as if she didn’t have the desire or the time for it, to even speak about the break. The Slytherins looked at her with suspicious, hating eyes, as if it was somehow her fault -- or worse, as if she was a traitor. Sometimes she felt like she was, in the middle of the day, when she forgot her pain for a few precious moments.
But then night would come, and she would be alone in her bed, shivering from cold that no charms or woolen blankets could take away, and it hurt. Slowly, the pain abated, but the cold never did.
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I have ever made
Rowena didn’t cry the day Salazar left, she didn’t even say goodbye, she simply walked away. She had cried and beat on his chest the night before. If he wanted to leave, she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself twice. Still, even though she had retreated to the Room of Requirement, her refuge, her haven, she heard it when the door shut, floors away, and something broke. She tried vaguely, to remember all the good times, but came up vague and empty. She stopped trying, and picked up her needlework with shaking hands.
When you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And I hold you like that (hold me like that)
I just had to admit that it's all coming back to me
When I touch like this (touch you like this)
And I hold you like that (hold you like that)
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me
It was late, when the thunder was rattling outside that she first noticed it. It was odd and definitely not something she had planned, just as she was moving toward it, the door swung open, and there stood Salazar, with that smug, self-serving smirk on his face. “How do you like my gift?”
Rowena froze, unsure of how to react, as if her limbs had been stuck in treacle, but then, before she even knew what she was doing, she flew at him. She wasn’t sure whether it was to strike him or kiss him, but all that came out was tears. She had spent these hours trying to forget, trying to remember anything but him, and there he was.
Almost silently, his hands dropped and his lips fell on hers, gentle and cautious, as if afraid she was fragile or going to break, and in that instant, everything came rushing back, every emotion, every memory she had tried so hard to hide or destroy was singing through her veins and her hands grasped and ripped, while her own kisses were punishing and rough, daring him to leave again, but wanting him to stay. His touches stayed gentle reassuring, tracing paths of wetness and uncharacteristically quiet, and infuriatingly calm, letting her have her anger and her moment.
“Rowena,” he murmured softly. “Rowena...”
It’s all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seem right,
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow-baby, baby.
She punished him the only way she could, with rough touches and her own sort of sadistic desire to hurt him the way he had hurt her, to see him cry and beg, but it didn’t work. It all got lost and wrapped up in the desire and pleasure, and the soft cries that he always managed to pull from her. When she woke up again, bruised tearstained, he was gone again, and she broke her hand on the mirror.
If I kiss you like this (kiss you like this)
And if you whisper like that (whisper like that)
It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this (if you want me like this)
And if you need me like that (if you need me like that)
It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now....
She went through the days like nothing changed, winter going into spring, and then Helena came to school, fresh from learning from her people, and Rowena saw her daughter for the first time since she was three days old -- much like when Rowena herself had met Mortianna, and she didn’t know what to say.
So she said nothing. It hurt, Helena herself, named after the Elena who an emperor had crossed a sea for, reminded Rowena of her own far off lover, and she was too afraid to get close, and too broken to risk it.
When you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And when you hold me like that (hold me like that)
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this (see me like this)
And when I see you like that (see you like that)
Then we see what we want to see-all coming back to me
Rowena hadn’t even the power to tell him about Helena when Salazar returned again, via his gift, she wasn’t strong enough. all she could do was melt into his arms like it was all yesterday, crying again, and wondering if it would ever happen that he would come to her and she could keep from crying. She doubted it, because she knew every time she woke up he would be gone.
He came less and less, Rowena didn’t blame him. She supposed he wanted his lover flushed and happy for his arrival, instead of tearful and angry at the sight of him, until one day he just stopped coming.
She imagined that he married some, rich noble, title woman, who could over him more than the kingmaking child from the glen, could, and her thoughts soured, not towards him, but towards love in general. If only it didn’t hurt so much.
And then she left the tower and didn’t return. Helena knew where to find her, and told Helga she was dying, and as the friar tried to make her make confession where she lay, she shook her head, calling on her sister instead.
It was Viven that wrote the letter, knowing far less of language then Rowena did, and it was only four words and her name. “Shes dieng. Come fast --Viven” Rowena doubted it would make it in time, but somehow it did.
If you forgive me all this (forgive me all this)
If I forgive you all that (forgive you all that)
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now
Salazar was slightly grayer, and drawn, much thinner than Rowena remembered, but he still looked perfect to her. “Hello.” she said softly. “Take our son, please.”
Salazar gaped at her. “What..? Rowena...?”
Rowena laughed, though it soundy shaky and had a bit of a rattle to it. “I have our girl, you take our boy.” Her eyes closed slowly. “Quickly, I don’t want you to watch me die.” She didn’t know if he did or not, refusing to look at him, or if he had escaped through his gift, but if she could forgive him for always leaving her behind, he would have to forgive her the same.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Salazar/Rowena
Rating: R?
Warnings: Non-graphic sex, nods to canon >.>
Summary: Songfic surrounding Salazar's departures, and then Rowena's.
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever
After the split, when Salazar left the school, Rowena went on as normal. It was the gossip of the school, her own students called her wise or cold, as if she didn’t have the desire or the time for it, to even speak about the break. The Slytherins looked at her with suspicious, hating eyes, as if it was somehow her fault -- or worse, as if she was a traitor. Sometimes she felt like she was, in the middle of the day, when she forgot her pain for a few precious moments.
But then night would come, and she would be alone in her bed, shivering from cold that no charms or woolen blankets could take away, and it hurt. Slowly, the pain abated, but the cold never did.
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I have ever made
Rowena didn’t cry the day Salazar left, she didn’t even say goodbye, she simply walked away. She had cried and beat on his chest the night before. If he wanted to leave, she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself twice. Still, even though she had retreated to the Room of Requirement, her refuge, her haven, she heard it when the door shut, floors away, and something broke. She tried vaguely, to remember all the good times, but came up vague and empty. She stopped trying, and picked up her needlework with shaking hands.
When you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And I hold you like that (hold me like that)
I just had to admit that it's all coming back to me
When I touch like this (touch you like this)
And I hold you like that (hold you like that)
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me
It was late, when the thunder was rattling outside that she first noticed it. It was odd and definitely not something she had planned, just as she was moving toward it, the door swung open, and there stood Salazar, with that smug, self-serving smirk on his face. “How do you like my gift?”
Rowena froze, unsure of how to react, as if her limbs had been stuck in treacle, but then, before she even knew what she was doing, she flew at him. She wasn’t sure whether it was to strike him or kiss him, but all that came out was tears. She had spent these hours trying to forget, trying to remember anything but him, and there he was.
Almost silently, his hands dropped and his lips fell on hers, gentle and cautious, as if afraid she was fragile or going to break, and in that instant, everything came rushing back, every emotion, every memory she had tried so hard to hide or destroy was singing through her veins and her hands grasped and ripped, while her own kisses were punishing and rough, daring him to leave again, but wanting him to stay. His touches stayed gentle reassuring, tracing paths of wetness and uncharacteristically quiet, and infuriatingly calm, letting her have her anger and her moment.
“Rowena,” he murmured softly. “Rowena...”
It’s all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seem right,
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow-baby, baby.
She punished him the only way she could, with rough touches and her own sort of sadistic desire to hurt him the way he had hurt her, to see him cry and beg, but it didn’t work. It all got lost and wrapped up in the desire and pleasure, and the soft cries that he always managed to pull from her. When she woke up again, bruised tearstained, he was gone again, and she broke her hand on the mirror.
If I kiss you like this (kiss you like this)
And if you whisper like that (whisper like that)
It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this (if you want me like this)
And if you need me like that (if you need me like that)
It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now....
She went through the days like nothing changed, winter going into spring, and then Helena came to school, fresh from learning from her people, and Rowena saw her daughter for the first time since she was three days old -- much like when Rowena herself had met Mortianna, and she didn’t know what to say.
So she said nothing. It hurt, Helena herself, named after the Elena who an emperor had crossed a sea for, reminded Rowena of her own far off lover, and she was too afraid to get close, and too broken to risk it.
When you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And when you hold me like that (hold me like that)
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this (see me like this)
And when I see you like that (see you like that)
Then we see what we want to see-all coming back to me
Rowena hadn’t even the power to tell him about Helena when Salazar returned again, via his gift, she wasn’t strong enough. all she could do was melt into his arms like it was all yesterday, crying again, and wondering if it would ever happen that he would come to her and she could keep from crying. She doubted it, because she knew every time she woke up he would be gone.
He came less and less, Rowena didn’t blame him. She supposed he wanted his lover flushed and happy for his arrival, instead of tearful and angry at the sight of him, until one day he just stopped coming.
She imagined that he married some, rich noble, title woman, who could over him more than the kingmaking child from the glen, could, and her thoughts soured, not towards him, but towards love in general. If only it didn’t hurt so much.
And then she left the tower and didn’t return. Helena knew where to find her, and told Helga she was dying, and as the friar tried to make her make confession where she lay, she shook her head, calling on her sister instead.
It was Viven that wrote the letter, knowing far less of language then Rowena did, and it was only four words and her name. “Shes dieng. Come fast --Viven” Rowena doubted it would make it in time, but somehow it did.
If you forgive me all this (forgive me all this)
If I forgive you all that (forgive you all that)
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now
Salazar was slightly grayer, and drawn, much thinner than Rowena remembered, but he still looked perfect to her. “Hello.” she said softly. “Take our son, please.”
Salazar gaped at her. “What..? Rowena...?”
Rowena laughed, though it soundy shaky and had a bit of a rattle to it. “I have our girl, you take our boy.” Her eyes closed slowly. “Quickly, I don’t want you to watch me die.” She didn’t know if he did or not, refusing to look at him, or if he had escaped through his gift, but if she could forgive him for always leaving her behind, he would have to forgive her the same.