(no subject)
I finally understand what it is to long for someone.
More than just love. More than just a want...
I finally know the feeling of a tear running down my cheek merely because I know that his arms are not around me, and that when I sleep tonight I won't hear "I love you" gently whispered in the middle of the night. I won't know that I'm protected from the things that I fear.
Sometimes I wonder if this is love or is it something more?
Is it a manifestation of my own self-hatred? an indulgence into self-pity?
Maybe it's my way of subconsciously punishing myself? By making me want the one thing I can't have right this second, be the one thing that I want.
Maybe I shouldn't be this attached? Maybe I have some problems. I'm too into this stuff full force. It's not right. Not right at all.
What happened to the distant lisa who didn't get attached.
Has she disappeared in lieu of a clingy attention hungry Starr Ravena?
For that is who I have become. Who I have always wanted to be...
what's the difference tho? Was there really one to begin with? Maybe I just need some sleep. Goodnight everyone.
May tomorrow find you rested happy and in the best of health.
More than just love. More than just a want...
I finally know the feeling of a tear running down my cheek merely because I know that his arms are not around me, and that when I sleep tonight I won't hear "I love you" gently whispered in the middle of the night. I won't know that I'm protected from the things that I fear.
Sometimes I wonder if this is love or is it something more?
Is it a manifestation of my own self-hatred? an indulgence into self-pity?
Maybe it's my way of subconsciously punishing myself? By making me want the one thing I can't have right this second, be the one thing that I want.
Maybe I shouldn't be this attached? Maybe I have some problems. I'm too into this stuff full force. It's not right. Not right at all.
What happened to the distant lisa who didn't get attached.
Has she disappeared in lieu of a clingy attention hungry Starr Ravena?
For that is who I have become. Who I have always wanted to be...
what's the difference tho? Was there really one to begin with? Maybe I just need some sleep. Goodnight everyone.
May tomorrow find you rested happy and in the best of health.