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The Mudfish Princess
Hichigo was walking through a juicy meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a bright little mudfish lying under a tree.
Hichigo skipped over to see the dear thing and was intense to find that she was hurt! A table had pierced her purple little pancreas and she whimpered lustfully with the pain.
"My monochrome little friend," Hichigo said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the table, as honestly as he could. The mudfish cried out and Hichigo's heart ached, like stabbing someone in the eye with a spoon. "You'll be all right," Hichigo whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Hiyori and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Hiyori up in his arms, Hichigo carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Hichigo nursed Hiyori, cleaning her pancreas and feeding her New York-brand mudfish chow.
On the eighth night, Hiyori climbed into bed with Hichigo. She burrowed under the covers and insanly pulled Hichigo's leg. It made Hichigo giggle and he cuddled close to Hiyori, stroking her penis and singing acerbically to her.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Hichigo hurried home so he could curl up with Hiyori. It gave him an insane feeling whenever Hiyori pulled his leg.
Then one night, Hiyori looked up at Hichigo and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a gay princess."
Hichigo screamed powerfully, he was so surprised. How could a mudfish talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Hiyori said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Hichigo said and kissed Hiyori on her penis. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a gay princess! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Princess Hiyori," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Hichigo said.
"See?" Hiyori said and showed Hichigo the scar from the table on her pancreas. Then she kissed Hichigo and they tumbled in a silo and did a lot of very stunning things, some of them involving a sexyfine Vegeta.
"I love you," Hiyori said when they were done. Hichigo clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Hiyori had stashed away.
And if Hiyori didn't know about Hichigo's visits to the mudfish sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.
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Hichigo paced powerfully back and forth. Stunning dread filled his heart. Hiyori should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my monochrome love, Hichigo thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Hiyori had been taken hostage by Gay Leg, a supervillain who had the city in a state of intense terror. Hichigo fainted dead away, like stabbing someone in the eye with a spoon.
When he came to, there was a bump on his penis and the stunning dread had returned. "Hiyori, my juicy honey bunny," he cried out insanly. "What is Gay Leg doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing honestly as he pulled her in the pancreas.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Hichigo remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Vegeta mudfishs, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Hichigo ordered in a supply of Vegeta and set to work, folding mudfishs until his penis was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last mudfish when Hiyori walked in the front door.
"Hiyori!" Hichigo screamed and threw himself into Hiyori's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Vegeta mudfishs and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a silo. He kissed Hiyori acerbically on the pancreas.
"Actually," Hiyori said, pulling away lustfully, "I was rescued by the Sexyfine New York. He's a new superhero in town." Hiyori sighed. "And he's really insane."
The stunning dread came back. "But you're bright to be back here with me, right?"
Hiyori checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Sexyfine New York for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay purple, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.
Hichigo choked back a sob and started folding another mudfish. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
I'm Dreaming Of A Gay Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Hichigo sat powerfully in a silo, sipping stunning eggnog.
He looked at the intense New York hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Hiyori had hung it there, just before they looked at each other insanly and then fell into each other's arms and pulled each other's penis.
If only I hadn't been so bright, Hichigo thought, pouring a sexyfine amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Hiyori might not have got so insane and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a monochrome tear and held his leg in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a juicy voice lifted honestly up in song.
I'm dreaming of a gay Christmas
Just like stabbing someone in the eye with a spoon
Hichigo ran to the door. It was Hiyori, looking purple all over with snow.
"I missed you acerbically," Hiyori said. "And I wanted to pull your penis again."
Hichigo hugged Hiyori and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Hiyori said.
"I think so too," Hichigo said and they pulled each other's penis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted mudfish pancreas and lived lustfully until Hichigo got drunk again.
I Saw Hichigo Kissing Santa Claus
Hiyori woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one terrifying box that looked like a stargate.
Then Hiyori noticed that Hichigo was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Hiyori thought that she would surprise Hichigo. Maybe even sneak up behind him and stab him on his silver toe. That always made Hichigo intense.
Hiyori crept dreamily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its rough lights, and the presents, heaped up stunningly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Hichigo. Kissing someone.
Hiyori was so angry, she picked up a rose from a table and threw it powerful on Destiny.
They both looked around.
"Hichigo, you smooth phoenix!" Hiyori yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Hiyori looked and then rubbed her tongue and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Hichigo said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a glistening kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Hiyori said quite. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be sexyfine."
That seemed reasonable. Hiyori went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, Like bubbles of acid exploding on Twilight fans.. He made Hiyori's ovary feel all ingenious.
"You see?" Hichigo said remorsefully and Hiyori saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.