The Damn Dreams
Its been at least 4 days since Sara Bloss became Sara Elizabeth FUCKING Lycans, and ever since I have had dreams, both terrible and vivid. Worse than the nightly haunting is the daily pain, the regret and the dawning realization that I cannot have back what I once had. No matter how much I loath what transpired I miss all the wonderful emotions she expended in proving she loved me. The dreams remind me nightly of being close to her, hearing her voice, lying beside her and knowing that she loved me more than she even loved herself. I can't stand it!
I could have stopped her, I could have made her love me again, but in the way was my pride, an immovable force that does not bend, and rarely breaks... The pain is so great now, that not even drinking eases it, I can't sleep unmolested by it, I cannot focus for my own misery, food is ash and humans are loathsome and self absorbed. I am paranoid constantly that all the world is after me, and my only response it that my gun shall never betray me.
I am afraid to say that if the dreams do not end soon, and the pain subside that I shall not be able to stand it. I am alone now more that I ever was before, old friends are gone, new friends are false and though I should be capable of withstanding I fear that I shall soon succumb. If I cannot be rid of this constant pain, like a cancer upon my very being I shall gather the necessary funds to poison myself into a calm and permanent sleep, leaving behind only one note.
I hate it so very much, but I did love and still love Sara, and I took her for granted because I felt she did me wrong once. Had I the chance I would get at her betrothed and torture for days on end, cutting his flesh and burning the wounds shut with black powder, til he can no more be rid of the dreams as I can.
I am truly miserable and at the worst possible time during for a student in college. Death... I dare you, come for me coward, all you would be slaying is a man.
I could have stopped her, I could have made her love me again, but in the way was my pride, an immovable force that does not bend, and rarely breaks... The pain is so great now, that not even drinking eases it, I can't sleep unmolested by it, I cannot focus for my own misery, food is ash and humans are loathsome and self absorbed. I am paranoid constantly that all the world is after me, and my only response it that my gun shall never betray me.
I am afraid to say that if the dreams do not end soon, and the pain subside that I shall not be able to stand it. I am alone now more that I ever was before, old friends are gone, new friends are false and though I should be capable of withstanding I fear that I shall soon succumb. If I cannot be rid of this constant pain, like a cancer upon my very being I shall gather the necessary funds to poison myself into a calm and permanent sleep, leaving behind only one note.
I hate it so very much, but I did love and still love Sara, and I took her for granted because I felt she did me wrong once. Had I the chance I would get at her betrothed and torture for days on end, cutting his flesh and burning the wounds shut with black powder, til he can no more be rid of the dreams as I can.
I am truly miserable and at the worst possible time during for a student in college. Death... I dare you, come for me coward, all you would be slaying is a man.