Fuck Yeah!!
Hello journal, long time no see. I haven't been feeling very good about myself for a long time, which lead to me shutting myself away from everything and not being able to express myself. We had some good times together, you and I, and I'm very sorry for neglecting you. I didn't mean to go so long without updating, but I had nothing to talk about but how depressed I was (and let's be honest, I really just couldn't be arsed putting in that much effort).
You'll be happy to know, however, that I am starting to feel better than ever... I'm finally starting to feel like my old self again and this makes for a very happy Dimi. My creative side (and of course the insane side that follows) is starting to make its presence felt again and this is leading to some very interesting ideas (expect random rambles to start again). Life just seems to be going so well for me at the moment, and exciting things are starting to happen.
* I started seeing a shrink
* I've been working more, which means more money
* I had four different job offers in one day
* My passport has been approved and should arrive soon
* I got the papers I need to apply for my Canadian citizenship
* I applied for a job teaching English in Japan, and I have an interview this week (24th May)
* I bought myself a shiny new computer
* I've gotten back into my photography
The most amazing thing though, is that, while I used to be so unhappy and so hateful towards myself, the space where those feelings used to reside is getting smaller and smaller - is becoming an empty void. You might think "how can feeling nothing be any better?", I can tell you now it really is like having a blanket lifted from your heart. I no longer have those crushing feelings of hate and self-loathing, and while the place where those feelings used to be is currently empty, it just means there's more room for those "happy happy" feelings to spread out when I'm ready. I feel really proud of myself for the fact that, while I see my friends way less than I used to, I don't feel anywhere near as lonely when I'm on my own. I still get bored when it's just me, but I'm starting to enjoy my solitude again. I'm so happy that I've come this far, when not too long ago I wanted to slip off the face of the earth. And I'm happy because I'm happy (if that makes any sense outside of my head).
It's good to be back journal, and it's good to be able to express myself like this without the usual shame. I look forward to our continuing relationship.
FUCK YEAH BIATCHES, I'M BACK!!
Dimi's Random Thought For The Day: "Berocca + V (energy drink) = aneurysm in a can."
You'll be happy to know, however, that I am starting to feel better than ever... I'm finally starting to feel like my old self again and this makes for a very happy Dimi. My creative side (and of course the insane side that follows) is starting to make its presence felt again and this is leading to some very interesting ideas (expect random rambles to start again). Life just seems to be going so well for me at the moment, and exciting things are starting to happen.
* I started seeing a shrink
* I've been working more, which means more money
* I had four different job offers in one day
* My passport has been approved and should arrive soon
* I got the papers I need to apply for my Canadian citizenship
* I applied for a job teaching English in Japan, and I have an interview this week (24th May)
* I bought myself a shiny new computer
* I've gotten back into my photography
The most amazing thing though, is that, while I used to be so unhappy and so hateful towards myself, the space where those feelings used to reside is getting smaller and smaller - is becoming an empty void. You might think "how can feeling nothing be any better?", I can tell you now it really is like having a blanket lifted from your heart. I no longer have those crushing feelings of hate and self-loathing, and while the place where those feelings used to be is currently empty, it just means there's more room for those "happy happy" feelings to spread out when I'm ready. I feel really proud of myself for the fact that, while I see my friends way less than I used to, I don't feel anywhere near as lonely when I'm on my own. I still get bored when it's just me, but I'm starting to enjoy my solitude again. I'm so happy that I've come this far, when not too long ago I wanted to slip off the face of the earth. And I'm happy because I'm happy (if that makes any sense outside of my head).
It's good to be back journal, and it's good to be able to express myself like this without the usual shame. I look forward to our continuing relationship.
FUCK YEAH BIATCHES, I'M BACK!!
Dimi's Random Thought For The Day: "Berocca + V (energy drink) = aneurysm in a can."