Compulsion
I often feel compelled to post, but I don't do it. I generally start with a couple words and just stop because I realize I have nothing I want to actually share with other people. I just have the compulsion to write something.
I write extensively on paper, and often about nothing of consequence. I try to at least make the things I put up for public consumption something of relative consequence. Most of the time when I write, I do so in cursive. I get considerable pleasure from the act of writing in cursive with a particularly nice pen. I sometimes fill pages with the same few words or phrases because it just feels good to write them. I like writing words with a nice rhythm.
I've discovered a word recently that happens to be beautiful. It is wonderfully satisfying to write, and it happens to look very pretty on the paper. That word is "hypergraphia." The best way to write it is in cursive with the Uni-Ball Signo 207 pen.
I hadn't heard of it until a few weeks ago when someone mentioned having dysgraphia and another person in the group mistook that for hypergraphia. So I learned a little about hypergraphia and ran off to look it up. The thing is, most definitions make it sound like a hypergraphic ought to be writing novels (almost all the sources I found identified famous prolific and hypergraphic authors), but I've also found out that it can manifest in repetitive writing and doesn't necessarily mean one is creative enough to be an author (which I am most assuredly not).
Sometimes I think of brilliant phrases (well, I think they're cool at least), and I can't wait to get them into my LJ and out to the world. Then the rest is just filler and the brilliance isn't so shiny anymore. Still, I hit the post button because I won't feel better otherwise.
I think that's why I stick to repetitive writing instead. All the prettiness of my phrases and words are untarnished by the other material.
It is very rare that a notebook I own, whether it be for work or school, has not been worked from both ends. I keep the business in the front, but I always start from the back for the other writing that I do during class or meetings or downtime. I almost always throw the back pages away, so I have no idea how many pages I've filled up.
This compulsion has never had an adverse affect on my education, employment, or relationships (in fact, I've written many a prolific love letter), so I never dreamed it was in any way related to a disorder or mental illness. I'm not even sure if it's something that is diagnosed singularly or not. It is most often linked to temporal lobe epilepsy. I think it was something like 70% of hypergraphics are also affected by temporal lobe epilepsy. However, not all person suffering from this form of epilepsy will be hypergraphic. I don't remember where I got this, but I've written it numerous times, so I might as well type it to:
It is also associated with manic and bipolar disorder. Manic and depressive episodes have been reported to intensify hypergraphia symptoms. Additionally, schizophrenics and people with fronto-temporal dementia also experience a compulsive drive to write.
My grandfather suffered from dimentia brought on by strokes. We had to keep a notepad and pencil next to his chair because he wrote throughout the day about once per hour a check mark, the time, and some phrase to the effect of everything being ok. If he didn't have that notepad, he would write on anything he could find. I always figured it had something to do with the dementia, but I'm looking at it quite differently now.
I wish I had learned all this before my recent medical board re-evaluation. I would have liked to ask the psychiatrist about it. I'm not seeing one currently, but had to see him for my 18-month check up to see whether or not I stay on the Temporary Disability Retiree List (TDRL) for the Navy. It wouldn't have had any bearing on the results, as it is not related to the diagnosis under which I was discharged. I just would have liked to talk about it a bit and see what he thought.
I'm sorry if this is a bit muddled. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of doing my usual proofreading and editing at this time, and I've been meaning to get this down for a few days now. Can't stop now, eh?
I write extensively on paper, and often about nothing of consequence. I try to at least make the things I put up for public consumption something of relative consequence. Most of the time when I write, I do so in cursive. I get considerable pleasure from the act of writing in cursive with a particularly nice pen. I sometimes fill pages with the same few words or phrases because it just feels good to write them. I like writing words with a nice rhythm.
I've discovered a word recently that happens to be beautiful. It is wonderfully satisfying to write, and it happens to look very pretty on the paper. That word is "hypergraphia." The best way to write it is in cursive with the Uni-Ball Signo 207 pen.
I hadn't heard of it until a few weeks ago when someone mentioned having dysgraphia and another person in the group mistook that for hypergraphia. So I learned a little about hypergraphia and ran off to look it up. The thing is, most definitions make it sound like a hypergraphic ought to be writing novels (almost all the sources I found identified famous prolific and hypergraphic authors), but I've also found out that it can manifest in repetitive writing and doesn't necessarily mean one is creative enough to be an author (which I am most assuredly not).
Sometimes I think of brilliant phrases (well, I think they're cool at least), and I can't wait to get them into my LJ and out to the world. Then the rest is just filler and the brilliance isn't so shiny anymore. Still, I hit the post button because I won't feel better otherwise.
I think that's why I stick to repetitive writing instead. All the prettiness of my phrases and words are untarnished by the other material.
It is very rare that a notebook I own, whether it be for work or school, has not been worked from both ends. I keep the business in the front, but I always start from the back for the other writing that I do during class or meetings or downtime. I almost always throw the back pages away, so I have no idea how many pages I've filled up.
This compulsion has never had an adverse affect on my education, employment, or relationships (in fact, I've written many a prolific love letter), so I never dreamed it was in any way related to a disorder or mental illness. I'm not even sure if it's something that is diagnosed singularly or not. It is most often linked to temporal lobe epilepsy. I think it was something like 70% of hypergraphics are also affected by temporal lobe epilepsy. However, not all person suffering from this form of epilepsy will be hypergraphic. I don't remember where I got this, but I've written it numerous times, so I might as well type it to:
It is also associated with manic and bipolar disorder. Manic and depressive episodes have been reported to intensify hypergraphia symptoms. Additionally, schizophrenics and people with fronto-temporal dementia also experience a compulsive drive to write.
My grandfather suffered from dimentia brought on by strokes. We had to keep a notepad and pencil next to his chair because he wrote throughout the day about once per hour a check mark, the time, and some phrase to the effect of everything being ok. If he didn't have that notepad, he would write on anything he could find. I always figured it had something to do with the dementia, but I'm looking at it quite differently now.
I wish I had learned all this before my recent medical board re-evaluation. I would have liked to ask the psychiatrist about it. I'm not seeing one currently, but had to see him for my 18-month check up to see whether or not I stay on the Temporary Disability Retiree List (TDRL) for the Navy. It wouldn't have had any bearing on the results, as it is not related to the diagnosis under which I was discharged. I just would have liked to talk about it a bit and see what he thought.
I'm sorry if this is a bit muddled. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of doing my usual proofreading and editing at this time, and I've been meaning to get this down for a few days now. Can't stop now, eh?