just when u thought it couldn't get any better...
oooooooooh today has been a damn good day. the high that i found myself in last nite has managed to continue, which is long overdue and greatly appreciated. don't worry, i'm very much aware that if i perked up so quickly it can always go down just as quickly. of course now i know how to not let things get to me the way they got to me earlier this month. i've been prioritizing so i can get things in order. i have to put things on hold with adam right now. we talked last nite, i ummmm said some things to his away message after he left. some of those things i'd like to take back, but i'm just glad i got my point across. i guess thats something for him to think about while i deal with everything.
i didn't go to bed last nite until 5:45. despite the fact that i was exhausted i can never sleep until i know i've finished everything i need to do for the day. i talked to my mom for an hour and let her know what was going on with the counseling center and stuff. that got me worked up. then i was fucking freezing in bed last nite. i couldn't wear enough layers to keep me warm. that usually doesn't happen. it could be the fact that i've apparently lost a lot of weight recently. i didn't even notice it until rachel pointed it out and then shannon confirmed it 10 mins later. huh i dont quite know how to deal with that. i was elated to hear i was a lot thinner, but then again that would probably be the result of my eating habits lately. looking back i think i averaged about 1000 calories a day BEFORE throwing it up each nite. whatever, i'm gonna try and eat better now.... hopefully the weight can stay off too though . i have to be between 120-125 right now. i was 127 before. just to clarify, i'm 5'5". ok ANYWAY.....
that meeting with the counselors today went very very well. i was concerned but i think Dr. Botswain and i are becomming better aquainted. i'm seeing her twice a week for the next 2 weeks and before i go back home for break, we're gonna evaluate how well i'm keeping up with my plan. i gave shannon my razor to hide from me. she hasn't been doing to well though. i might steal it back and give it to someone else to hold on to... along with confescate anything she might do damage to herself with. it sucks that i'm feeling better and she seems to be feeling worse. i'm gonna do my best to help her out with things and be there for her just the way that she was with me bc i don't want anything happening to her. i dont want her to go through the same thing i went through this month. i wouldn't wish that on anyone.
ooooooh and to add to my amazing day, it's finally snowing for the first time in a loooooooong time AND it just started to stick as i went out with meg. i love the snow. i really like it out here. i have the best of both worlds. i have LA with the nice weather and the overall environment back home AND i have NY with the beautiful seasons and the snow. once i get tired of one place, i know i'll be moving back to the other soon enough. its all very good. i love my life!!!!
i didn't go to bed last nite until 5:45. despite the fact that i was exhausted i can never sleep until i know i've finished everything i need to do for the day. i talked to my mom for an hour and let her know what was going on with the counseling center and stuff. that got me worked up. then i was fucking freezing in bed last nite. i couldn't wear enough layers to keep me warm. that usually doesn't happen. it could be the fact that i've apparently lost a lot of weight recently. i didn't even notice it until rachel pointed it out and then shannon confirmed it 10 mins later. huh i dont quite know how to deal with that. i was elated to hear i was a lot thinner, but then again that would probably be the result of my eating habits lately. looking back i think i averaged about 1000 calories a day BEFORE throwing it up each nite. whatever, i'm gonna try and eat better now.... hopefully the weight can stay off too though . i have to be between 120-125 right now. i was 127 before. just to clarify, i'm 5'5". ok ANYWAY.....
that meeting with the counselors today went very very well. i was concerned but i think Dr. Botswain and i are becomming better aquainted. i'm seeing her twice a week for the next 2 weeks and before i go back home for break, we're gonna evaluate how well i'm keeping up with my plan. i gave shannon my razor to hide from me. she hasn't been doing to well though. i might steal it back and give it to someone else to hold on to... along with confescate anything she might do damage to herself with. it sucks that i'm feeling better and she seems to be feeling worse. i'm gonna do my best to help her out with things and be there for her just the way that she was with me bc i don't want anything happening to her. i dont want her to go through the same thing i went through this month. i wouldn't wish that on anyone.
ooooooh and to add to my amazing day, it's finally snowing for the first time in a loooooooong time AND it just started to stick as i went out with meg. i love the snow. i really like it out here. i have the best of both worlds. i have LA with the nice weather and the overall environment back home AND i have NY with the beautiful seasons and the snow. once i get tired of one place, i know i'll be moving back to the other soon enough. its all very good. i love my life!!!!