Meta for kink bingo
Betas: the amazingly helpful and brilliant elrhiarhodan and photoash.
An essay on DP for kinkbingo.
Disclaimer: this is opinion but not based on any expertise or research. Seriously. Just thoughts on a fannish topic.
Request: please feel free to give feedback where you have knowledge/opinions/etc.
Hi. This is an essay on double penetration (DP) and fanfiction. If you dislike nerdy pretentious discussions of fandom that bring politics into everything, then tldr.
This meta does NOT cover all DP-fandom issues. It focuses on one kind of DP and especially its relation to MFM OT3 fic, and while it is not the only or most important DP topic, it is the topic that most closely relates to the fic and fandoms I write in usually. I hope you don't feel excluded if your favorite type of DP is neglected here and I hope you DO respond with what you like (and maybe fic).
Defining the term:
Double penetration has many definitions:
A) a woman having vaginal sex with one man and simultaneously "receiving" anal sex from a different man;
B) a person having two penises or objects in one orifice at the same time;
C) simultaneous oral and vaginal or anal sex;
D) any combination of body parts and toys or objects that penetrate someone, as long as the person is penetrated twice;
E) definitions that I don't know of but I am sure are there.
While “double penetration” is commonly used to label the acts described in (B) and (D), many if not most people tend to think of “two-men-one-woman” performing/having simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration when they hear the term DP. To me, this common definition is obviously too narrow and problematic. For example, if DP were prompted for a MFM fic at a kinkmeme, many people would assume the prompter meant action (A) unless the prompt specified otherwise. (A) is, by far, the most “standard” definition, especially when a woman is present and the DP is not specified as "1-hole."
A question:
For this essay, though, I want to consider a question related to DP fic. Obviously, there are many three-person relationship combinations of gender (FFF, MMM, FFM, and that’s only for three-person relationships where everyone is cis-gendered or “gender-normative”), but stereotypically, DP is associated with MFM. Some people even leap to the image of DP (definition A) at the first thought of a MFM threesome. This meta is written for kinkbingo, and in thinking about why I chose to do a meta, I realized that while this is a kink I like reading, I don't like writing fic that is centered on it - I have only included it in my fic as a brief paragraph in longer fics that focused on other kinks for the most part. And as a reader, I can't help noticing that in fandoms where MFM threesome or triad fic is common, there is much less DP than you would think.
So the question of this essay is: why are DP fics so rare? And what can fans like me who don't write it do to encourage it (this is the pro-kink part of the kink bingo)?
I love many fandoms and many of these have MFM OT3s, both in terms of threesomes (sex) and long-term relationships (i.e., triads, polys or several other names). Some are widely known and loved OT3s (such as the ones in White Collar and Leverage), some are in fandoms where only a small number of people write MFM triads (Chuck, Psych, Dark Angel) but they are given plenty of canon fodder. Again, I do not mean to imply that these are the most important OT3s, just that MFM and MMM OT3”s are a personal preference of mine in fic, and also that it relates to the topic of double penetration.
I do not mean to imply that there are no DP writers. I DEFINITELY do not mean to suggest that the DP fic out there is lacking in quality. I just mean that based on my entirely half-assed non-researched observations, there isn’t A LOT of DP fic, considering that:
a) MFM OT3s are strongly suggested by canon, and in some fandoms are extremely common (e.g., White Collar, Leverage)
b) Double penetration (vaginal/anal) is the most stereotypical “placement” of the parties in MFM threesomes
So what, in my non-scientific analysis, is the reason for the RELATIVE dearth of DP?
Possible reasons:
A) Heteronormativity. Fandom is not always a fan of heteronormativity. Not that slash equals magical freedom from dominant gender-power-sexuality structures. But the lack of DP may be the result of fanficcers' preferences of other things over heteronormative acts and relationships. Particularly, I would guess, most MFM-OT3 fans are also slash fans; some may like het and slash both, presumably. And (A)-type -DP is about the most heteronormative way one can have a MFM threesome. In some cases, there might even be the suggestion that the two men might not be considered to be having sex with each other. There are movies that contain plot elements around (A)-type DP (e.g., "Threesome," "Splendor" and others) in which one or both men not only self-identify as straight (which is fine - an experience or even a relationship does not equal a sexual identity), but a male character also claims that there is nothing homoerotic about what they are doing. There is also the famous example from How I Met Your Mother in which part of the “bro code” which, although mocked lightly on the show, indicates the level of hetero-compensating often portrayed in popular culture representations of MFM sex: according to character Barney Stinson’s rules for being a “good bro to your bros,” one cannot look “the other bro in the eye” during a “devil”s threesome” - a threesome with 2 men.
In OT3 fic; however, there is often an emphasis on the men's desire for each other, as well as the desire between the woman and men. Often, the male-male relationship is the focus of the fic, both in the porny parts and in the domestic/schmoop/casefic/whatever else is going on the fic (again, the slashy influence is showing). To use the crass and often inaccurate metaphor of the “sandwich”, a male character often is the meat in the sandwich in fanworks. The stereotype that a MFM-threesome or long-term relationship is about two male-female relationships (and that's it) is not as assumed in fic. It would also interfere with the male-male interaction that many in fandom are most excited by (artistically and emotionally).
To use the example of the well-loved White Collar OT3, it could be fun to have Neal/El/Peter DP, but it’s even more likely the sexual act will start with El being eaten by Neal while Peter fucks him Or that the sexual act is Neal sucking Peter while being mounted by Elizabeth who is wearing a strap on. Or that El and Peter tie Neal to a canopy bed, and leave kisses and bites all over him, and then make him watch them have sex, and then do orgasm denial play for hours. Looking at the Leverage Fandom, you will find stories where Parker, Hardison, and Eliot have tried it all, and the image of Parker with Hardison behind her and Eliot in front - or vice versa is great - but it has some heavy competition in the form of Parker and Hardison using a crop on sub!Eliot, or possibly Eliot fucking Hardison fucking Parker while they are all hanging from a rooftop in a harness, or maybe some WoW roleplay. And that’s just the softcore stuff.
B) The term ”double penetration” in and of itself could be a turn-off for some people in fandom.
Some possible reasons why the name of the act itself does not exactly get people all excited to write fic about it:
- It does not sound sexy. It sounds like a military strategy people used in the Fifteenth Century. Or, perhaps, a chess move. Wait, sorry, it doesn't sound sexy enough to be the name of a chess move. It sounds clinical, like a medical procedure you don't want.
- It makes penetration and the penis the center and the definition of erotic activity. Male-centric, hetero-centric, vanilla-centric, and - well, if that's what you want, you might be looking at mainstream porn rather than the grassrootsy farmer's-market style of porn you get in fan communities.
Side note: this cartoon also, I think, suggests the unsexiness of the term (thanks to Elrhiarhodan for pointing it out!):
Here it's obviously used as comic effect - it is an exaggeratedly obscene thing that makes the adult's porn look prudish by comparison. And yet it's not necessarily sexy-sounding. It sounds cheesy and un-erotic here.
C) Some people think of it (definitionA DP) as an act degrading to women. I don't really understand why, but I think it's worth discussing; it ends up being closely related to the fact that some people may not like the term "double penetration.'
Looking at the comments on double penetration at Urbandictionary.com (which I’ll refer to simply as “UD” going forward), it is apparent that “DP” has multiple sexual connotations. For those few of you who don't know, UD provides "street-level" definitions of sexual terms and other slang and non-slang words. It is rife with stereotypes, misogyny, and weak attempts at being funny. There is limited value to urbandictionary.com, since there is no editorial oversight, and many contributors try to get positive ratings from readers by saying provocative things. However, UD does have value, as it taps into the general zeitgeist of a certain type of Internet user, and the information it provides reveals the stereotypes and connotations that surround certain terms. I reference it because the cloud of terms suggests the following as synonyms for DP: double dicking, double dip, and double team.
"Doubleteam" or “Double-Teaming” is a fairly negative term, and the fact that "team" is used as a verb, and the way "double" is added, suggests that the person (generally a woman) being double-teamed is either the opponent of the men, or, even worse, an object - the game turf, is the thing being "scored on” and even suggests a certain level of non-con or dub-con. The "double" in all those terms implies that penetration is the norm, and that what matters is the number of penises in play, and not much else. And I don't think I need to explain why double dicking is not an ideal term. There are alternative definitions used, also implying using/exploiting/sluttiness, as well as a highly specific definition that fingers and objects only count as DP if they are grouped together so as to be the same size as a penis. There are also several suggestions in the definitions of these terms that imply that DP is hot because it is so incredibly demeaning to the woman, and that it is very high on some imagined scale of “sluttiness” for the woman, and that it is a way of utterly making a woman an object to be fucked and used.
I find this hard to understand. Why should this act be demeaning? Since many portrayals suggest it is highly pleasurable for all involved, what makes this act and/or term associated with demeaning women? It could have to do with the issue of control/mobility of the participants, especially the woman, or with the physical difficulty/caution required. But I suspect it has to do with the broader denial of women's desire, agency, and sexual autonomy - the idea that women are supposed to take dick, but only sluts actually like it.
Basically, what I think is going on is that DP (including careful, loving, female-initiated, multiple-orgasm-causing DP) is considered inherently demeaning because there is still a core culture believe that a woman who enjoys sex is something less than human. This is sexism at its worst. Specifically, in dominant stereotypes and much mainstream culture (a catchall vague term, I know) the following things might be suggested or assumed (based on the terms found in UD):
- The terminology used in UD would suggest the following ideas: It is more natural for men to desire and pursue sex and to look at women as sexual objects/sexual resources. It is natural for (good) women to resist male desire, to not have strong sexual desire, and everyone knows men aren”t sex objects. Therefore, sex itself is degrading in some respects to a woman. Obviously, the sex is heterosexual. And if you marry her, then it's okay. Or if she's a slut, then it's also okay. But sex contaminates women, which is why virgins are "clean" and "pure," and why women who wear skimpy clothing or have more partners than is recommended or put themselves in the public eye are "inviting" men to ogle, disrespect, or attack. They are inviting men "in." This is why "stay tight, wear white" is a chastity slogan. It is the idea that a woman's degradation or lack thereof depends on how successfully she avoids having the culturally constructed boundaries of the female body penetrated; a woman who is 'filled up' and worse - wants to be - is therefore debased, treated like a thing not a person. Sex debases, anal sex really debases, sex with men makes one a slut, sex with two men at once in 'both places' is therefore slut!tastic.
Okay. So - does the term make the stereotypical associations better or worse for DP? I don't know that there's reason to believe that the term is the CAUSE of why DP is viewed this way, but I assume that the term doesn't HELP. (I would argue a similar argument can be made for the term “doggy style”).
Again, a big part of the problem is that the term "double penetration" portrays the woman as the passive recipient; where is her agency? It's not the word is terrible, it's just that it describes what is done to, not done by, the woman who is, quite literally, at the center of things.
This is part of a bigger problem in the vocabulary of women's sexuality; many people have noted that language encodes certain assumptions about gender and sex. Most of the words for what people DO during sex suggest female passivity and male activity (I don't mean specific ACTS, I mean verbs for the act of sex in general). In other words, besides "have" terms (have sex, have intercourse, have carnal relations), most terms that people actually use are or were things that men DO to women (again, I'm talking about the dominant-stereotypical hetero-centric view). In other words, "fuck," "screw," ""do," "bang," etc. -- the most common verbs for sexual activity -- were words that described what men do during sex. I.e., in this usage, a man fucks a woman, a woman is fucked by a man. A man fucks another man, the second man is being fucked. To say that a woman "fucks" is now common but recently wasn't so much; the idea that fucking equals penetration shows up in the use of phrases like "fuck yourself," "fucked over," etc. So most verbs that describe what women DO during sex are words that used to mean “penetrate” and now are gender neutral. WTF?
Yes, there are words like grind and ride, but the most common words for sex portray women as passive recipients of male desire. (And again, where does that leave non-MF sexings?). This also is not sex-positive, in that it doesn't seem to portray sex as something that women (and men) should participate in with active enthusing. (Sex-positive attitudes often utilize the phrase “Yes means yes!” - e.g., this book: http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Means-Visions-Female-Without/dp/1580052576 ). So the words used to describe sex encourage really messed up views about bodies, desires, pleasures, genders, and relationships.
And the passivity/sex-negativity in the terms "double penetration," and worse, "double teaming"? Twice as fucked up.
And for the opposite end of the spectrum: people who like DP fic precisely BECAUSE it's degrading, demeaning, or "slutty." I love you just as much, even though I'm not going to spend as much time in this essay on you. But a similar problem remains. "Double penetration" sounds clinical and passive, and "double team"... well, we can all think of more sexy ways to describe demeaning!sex that with the vocabulary of a fratboy from a stereotypical 1970's movie.
Solutions:
So let's say that it would be useful (for the purposes of fic, among other reasons of course) to have a term for the sex act in which a woman takes pleasure from using or involving both her pussy and ass, and each is “interacting” with a different person. Fingers, tongue, penis, dildo, pervertible, whatever. Gender of the others not specified. In other words, a broader than Type (A) view of DP.
And maybe we should have many, many terms - terms that emphasize female agency, terms that are silly, terms that are dirtier-sounding, all of them.
So dear readers:
Does anyone know of any better names for this act that people use?
Would anyone like to come up with a name for this act? Could be serious or utterly cracky.
What would make you want to write fic about this act? If a prompt were slashier would it help (e.g., would you be more likely to write if the prompt were "P/E/N DP with Peter's fingers working Neal's ass")?. What else might encourage you?
What would encourage more threesome and triad fic in general?
And (thanks to Ash for suggesting this): if you are so inclined, please leave a snippet of DP fic here. Three sentence fic is fine.
An essay on DP for kinkbingo.
Disclaimer: this is opinion but not based on any expertise or research. Seriously. Just thoughts on a fannish topic.
Request: please feel free to give feedback where you have knowledge/opinions/etc.
Hi. This is an essay on double penetration (DP) and fanfiction. If you dislike nerdy pretentious discussions of fandom that bring politics into everything, then tldr.
This meta does NOT cover all DP-fandom issues. It focuses on one kind of DP and especially its relation to MFM OT3 fic, and while it is not the only or most important DP topic, it is the topic that most closely relates to the fic and fandoms I write in usually. I hope you don't feel excluded if your favorite type of DP is neglected here and I hope you DO respond with what you like (and maybe fic).
Defining the term:
Double penetration has many definitions:
A) a woman having vaginal sex with one man and simultaneously "receiving" anal sex from a different man;
B) a person having two penises or objects in one orifice at the same time;
C) simultaneous oral and vaginal or anal sex;
D) any combination of body parts and toys or objects that penetrate someone, as long as the person is penetrated twice;
E) definitions that I don't know of but I am sure are there.
While “double penetration” is commonly used to label the acts described in (B) and (D), many if not most people tend to think of “two-men-one-woman” performing/having simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration when they hear the term DP. To me, this common definition is obviously too narrow and problematic. For example, if DP were prompted for a MFM fic at a kinkmeme, many people would assume the prompter meant action (A) unless the prompt specified otherwise. (A) is, by far, the most “standard” definition, especially when a woman is present and the DP is not specified as "1-hole."
A question:
For this essay, though, I want to consider a question related to DP fic. Obviously, there are many three-person relationship combinations of gender (FFF, MMM, FFM, and that’s only for three-person relationships where everyone is cis-gendered or “gender-normative”), but stereotypically, DP is associated with MFM. Some people even leap to the image of DP (definition A) at the first thought of a MFM threesome. This meta is written for kinkbingo, and in thinking about why I chose to do a meta, I realized that while this is a kink I like reading, I don't like writing fic that is centered on it - I have only included it in my fic as a brief paragraph in longer fics that focused on other kinks for the most part. And as a reader, I can't help noticing that in fandoms where MFM threesome or triad fic is common, there is much less DP than you would think.
So the question of this essay is: why are DP fics so rare? And what can fans like me who don't write it do to encourage it (this is the pro-kink part of the kink bingo)?
I love many fandoms and many of these have MFM OT3s, both in terms of threesomes (sex) and long-term relationships (i.e., triads, polys or several other names). Some are widely known and loved OT3s (such as the ones in White Collar and Leverage), some are in fandoms where only a small number of people write MFM triads (Chuck, Psych, Dark Angel) but they are given plenty of canon fodder. Again, I do not mean to imply that these are the most important OT3s, just that MFM and MMM OT3”s are a personal preference of mine in fic, and also that it relates to the topic of double penetration.
I do not mean to imply that there are no DP writers. I DEFINITELY do not mean to suggest that the DP fic out there is lacking in quality. I just mean that based on my entirely half-assed non-researched observations, there isn’t A LOT of DP fic, considering that:
a) MFM OT3s are strongly suggested by canon, and in some fandoms are extremely common (e.g., White Collar, Leverage)
b) Double penetration (vaginal/anal) is the most stereotypical “placement” of the parties in MFM threesomes
So what, in my non-scientific analysis, is the reason for the RELATIVE dearth of DP?
Possible reasons:
A) Heteronormativity. Fandom is not always a fan of heteronormativity. Not that slash equals magical freedom from dominant gender-power-sexuality structures. But the lack of DP may be the result of fanficcers' preferences of other things over heteronormative acts and relationships. Particularly, I would guess, most MFM-OT3 fans are also slash fans; some may like het and slash both, presumably. And (A)-type -DP is about the most heteronormative way one can have a MFM threesome. In some cases, there might even be the suggestion that the two men might not be considered to be having sex with each other. There are movies that contain plot elements around (A)-type DP (e.g., "Threesome," "Splendor" and others) in which one or both men not only self-identify as straight (which is fine - an experience or even a relationship does not equal a sexual identity), but a male character also claims that there is nothing homoerotic about what they are doing. There is also the famous example from How I Met Your Mother in which part of the “bro code” which, although mocked lightly on the show, indicates the level of hetero-compensating often portrayed in popular culture representations of MFM sex: according to character Barney Stinson’s rules for being a “good bro to your bros,” one cannot look “the other bro in the eye” during a “devil”s threesome” - a threesome with 2 men.
In OT3 fic; however, there is often an emphasis on the men's desire for each other, as well as the desire between the woman and men. Often, the male-male relationship is the focus of the fic, both in the porny parts and in the domestic/schmoop/casefic/whatever else is going on the fic (again, the slashy influence is showing). To use the crass and often inaccurate metaphor of the “sandwich”, a male character often is the meat in the sandwich in fanworks. The stereotype that a MFM-threesome or long-term relationship is about two male-female relationships (and that's it) is not as assumed in fic. It would also interfere with the male-male interaction that many in fandom are most excited by (artistically and emotionally).
To use the example of the well-loved White Collar OT3, it could be fun to have Neal/El/Peter DP, but it’s even more likely the sexual act will start with El being eaten by Neal while Peter fucks him Or that the sexual act is Neal sucking Peter while being mounted by Elizabeth who is wearing a strap on. Or that El and Peter tie Neal to a canopy bed, and leave kisses and bites all over him, and then make him watch them have sex, and then do orgasm denial play for hours. Looking at the Leverage Fandom, you will find stories where Parker, Hardison, and Eliot have tried it all, and the image of Parker with Hardison behind her and Eliot in front - or vice versa is great - but it has some heavy competition in the form of Parker and Hardison using a crop on sub!Eliot, or possibly Eliot fucking Hardison fucking Parker while they are all hanging from a rooftop in a harness, or maybe some WoW roleplay. And that’s just the softcore stuff.
B) The term ”double penetration” in and of itself could be a turn-off for some people in fandom.
Some possible reasons why the name of the act itself does not exactly get people all excited to write fic about it:
- It does not sound sexy. It sounds like a military strategy people used in the Fifteenth Century. Or, perhaps, a chess move. Wait, sorry, it doesn't sound sexy enough to be the name of a chess move. It sounds clinical, like a medical procedure you don't want.
- It makes penetration and the penis the center and the definition of erotic activity. Male-centric, hetero-centric, vanilla-centric, and - well, if that's what you want, you might be looking at mainstream porn rather than the grassrootsy farmer's-market style of porn you get in fan communities.
Side note: this cartoon also, I think, suggests the unsexiness of the term (thanks to Elrhiarhodan for pointing it out!):
Here it's obviously used as comic effect - it is an exaggeratedly obscene thing that makes the adult's porn look prudish by comparison. And yet it's not necessarily sexy-sounding. It sounds cheesy and un-erotic here.
C) Some people think of it (definitionA DP) as an act degrading to women. I don't really understand why, but I think it's worth discussing; it ends up being closely related to the fact that some people may not like the term "double penetration.'
Looking at the comments on double penetration at Urbandictionary.com (which I’ll refer to simply as “UD” going forward), it is apparent that “DP” has multiple sexual connotations. For those few of you who don't know, UD provides "street-level" definitions of sexual terms and other slang and non-slang words. It is rife with stereotypes, misogyny, and weak attempts at being funny. There is limited value to urbandictionary.com, since there is no editorial oversight, and many contributors try to get positive ratings from readers by saying provocative things. However, UD does have value, as it taps into the general zeitgeist of a certain type of Internet user, and the information it provides reveals the stereotypes and connotations that surround certain terms. I reference it because the cloud of terms suggests the following as synonyms for DP: double dicking, double dip, and double team.
"Doubleteam" or “Double-Teaming” is a fairly negative term, and the fact that "team" is used as a verb, and the way "double" is added, suggests that the person (generally a woman) being double-teamed is either the opponent of the men, or, even worse, an object - the game turf, is the thing being "scored on” and even suggests a certain level of non-con or dub-con. The "double" in all those terms implies that penetration is the norm, and that what matters is the number of penises in play, and not much else. And I don't think I need to explain why double dicking is not an ideal term. There are alternative definitions used, also implying using/exploiting/sluttiness, as well as a highly specific definition that fingers and objects only count as DP if they are grouped together so as to be the same size as a penis. There are also several suggestions in the definitions of these terms that imply that DP is hot because it is so incredibly demeaning to the woman, and that it is very high on some imagined scale of “sluttiness” for the woman, and that it is a way of utterly making a woman an object to be fucked and used.
I find this hard to understand. Why should this act be demeaning? Since many portrayals suggest it is highly pleasurable for all involved, what makes this act and/or term associated with demeaning women? It could have to do with the issue of control/mobility of the participants, especially the woman, or with the physical difficulty/caution required. But I suspect it has to do with the broader denial of women's desire, agency, and sexual autonomy - the idea that women are supposed to take dick, but only sluts actually like it.
Basically, what I think is going on is that DP (including careful, loving, female-initiated, multiple-orgasm-causing DP) is considered inherently demeaning because there is still a core culture believe that a woman who enjoys sex is something less than human. This is sexism at its worst. Specifically, in dominant stereotypes and much mainstream culture (a catchall vague term, I know) the following things might be suggested or assumed (based on the terms found in UD):
- The terminology used in UD would suggest the following ideas: It is more natural for men to desire and pursue sex and to look at women as sexual objects/sexual resources. It is natural for (good) women to resist male desire, to not have strong sexual desire, and everyone knows men aren”t sex objects. Therefore, sex itself is degrading in some respects to a woman. Obviously, the sex is heterosexual. And if you marry her, then it's okay. Or if she's a slut, then it's also okay. But sex contaminates women, which is why virgins are "clean" and "pure," and why women who wear skimpy clothing or have more partners than is recommended or put themselves in the public eye are "inviting" men to ogle, disrespect, or attack. They are inviting men "in." This is why "stay tight, wear white" is a chastity slogan. It is the idea that a woman's degradation or lack thereof depends on how successfully she avoids having the culturally constructed boundaries of the female body penetrated; a woman who is 'filled up' and worse - wants to be - is therefore debased, treated like a thing not a person. Sex debases, anal sex really debases, sex with men makes one a slut, sex with two men at once in 'both places' is therefore slut!tastic.
Okay. So - does the term make the stereotypical associations better or worse for DP? I don't know that there's reason to believe that the term is the CAUSE of why DP is viewed this way, but I assume that the term doesn't HELP. (I would argue a similar argument can be made for the term “doggy style”).
Again, a big part of the problem is that the term "double penetration" portrays the woman as the passive recipient; where is her agency? It's not the word is terrible, it's just that it describes what is done to, not done by, the woman who is, quite literally, at the center of things.
This is part of a bigger problem in the vocabulary of women's sexuality; many people have noted that language encodes certain assumptions about gender and sex. Most of the words for what people DO during sex suggest female passivity and male activity (I don't mean specific ACTS, I mean verbs for the act of sex in general). In other words, besides "have" terms (have sex, have intercourse, have carnal relations), most terms that people actually use are or were things that men DO to women (again, I'm talking about the dominant-stereotypical hetero-centric view). In other words, "fuck," "screw," ""do," "bang," etc. -- the most common verbs for sexual activity -- were words that described what men do during sex. I.e., in this usage, a man fucks a woman, a woman is fucked by a man. A man fucks another man, the second man is being fucked. To say that a woman "fucks" is now common but recently wasn't so much; the idea that fucking equals penetration shows up in the use of phrases like "fuck yourself," "fucked over," etc. So most verbs that describe what women DO during sex are words that used to mean “penetrate” and now are gender neutral. WTF?
Yes, there are words like grind and ride, but the most common words for sex portray women as passive recipients of male desire. (And again, where does that leave non-MF sexings?). This also is not sex-positive, in that it doesn't seem to portray sex as something that women (and men) should participate in with active enthusing. (Sex-positive attitudes often utilize the phrase “Yes means yes!” - e.g., this book: http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Means-Visions-Female-Without/dp/1580052576 ). So the words used to describe sex encourage really messed up views about bodies, desires, pleasures, genders, and relationships.
And the passivity/sex-negativity in the terms "double penetration," and worse, "double teaming"? Twice as fucked up.
And for the opposite end of the spectrum: people who like DP fic precisely BECAUSE it's degrading, demeaning, or "slutty." I love you just as much, even though I'm not going to spend as much time in this essay on you. But a similar problem remains. "Double penetration" sounds clinical and passive, and "double team"... well, we can all think of more sexy ways to describe demeaning!sex that with the vocabulary of a fratboy from a stereotypical 1970's movie.
Solutions:
So let's say that it would be useful (for the purposes of fic, among other reasons of course) to have a term for the sex act in which a woman takes pleasure from using or involving both her pussy and ass, and each is “interacting” with a different person. Fingers, tongue, penis, dildo, pervertible, whatever. Gender of the others not specified. In other words, a broader than Type (A) view of DP.
And maybe we should have many, many terms - terms that emphasize female agency, terms that are silly, terms that are dirtier-sounding, all of them.
So dear readers:
Does anyone know of any better names for this act that people use?
Would anyone like to come up with a name for this act? Could be serious or utterly cracky.
What would make you want to write fic about this act? If a prompt were slashier would it help (e.g., would you be more likely to write if the prompt were "P/E/N DP with Peter's fingers working Neal's ass")?. What else might encourage you?
What would encourage more threesome and triad fic in general?
And (thanks to Ash for suggesting this): if you are so inclined, please leave a snippet of DP fic here. Three sentence fic is fine.