What If They Didn't Kiss? (1/7)
Title: What If They Didn't Kiss?
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~13,745
Spoilers: "Original Song", Season 2, Glee
Summary: Blaine finally realizes that he is in love with Kurt, but is it too late?
"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" asked Kurt, brow furrowing slightly as he asked.
Blaine stared at him for a moment, heart pounding in his ears. Closing his eyes and taking a breath he spoke - it was now or never.
"Kurt, there is a moment where you say to yourself, 'oh, there you are, I've been looking for you forever'."
Kurt's breath caught in his throat, he was sure he was going to melt into a puddle of goo as he stared into Blaine's eyes for that multi-houred millisecond. Blaine scooted closer to Kurt, then, and nervously placed his hand over Kurt's.
"Watching you sing Blackbird this week was that moment for me, about you," continued Blaine, slowly as if choosing his words carefully and nervously. "You move me, Kurt, and this duet would just be an excuse for me to spend more time with you."
So many thoughts and emotions were passing through Kurt at that moment; terror, excitement, complete and utter jubilation, and yet, for some reason the one he chose to hold on to was a question. He wondered to himself as to whether Blaine had rehearsed that speech a few times before coming in or if he was making it up on the fly. Kurt smirked slightly at that thought, Blaine could be so eloquent that he wouldn't put past him to have come up with that amazing speech on the spot.
Kurt didn't have a chance to contemplate the meaning of life any longer, though, as he continued to stare into Blaine's nutmeg eyes, because Blaine rose from his seat and moved timidly but purposefully toward Kurt. Sucking in a deep breath, Kurt tensed. This would have been a perfect first kiss for him and perfect start to the relationship with Blaine that he had almost given up on actually getting. The lovely speech, the beautiful boy in front of him, the emotions flying through both their eyes... this would have been perfect. The problem was the 'would have' part.
"Blaine!" exhaled Kurt before their lips could touch, leaning his head back a little.
Eyes suddenly wide open, hand dropping from the side of Kurt's face, Blaine sat back down in his chair with a thump. He stared at Kurt with searching eyes for a few moments as Kurt sought to catch his breath.
"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to say that," sighed Kurt, seeing hurt beginning to replace the surprise in Blaine's eyes. "Well, something like that. I would have never expected such a beautiful and eloquent speech, to be honest."
The corners of Blaine's mouth twitched at Kurt's words.
"Blaine," started Kurt after a few moments of solemn silence. "You can't just say all these sweet things and then try to kiss me - Not after you spent months throwing me mixed signals and broke my heart... repeatedly."
Kurt's eyes began to well with tears in that moment. Blaine bit his lip as his heart wretched in pain; this wasn't how this was supposed to go.
"I get it, though," spoke Kurt, again. He was trying to keep his voice even, though the steep rising and falling of his chest was already giving himself away. "You were searching, you weren't sure, and you didn't want to mess with our friendship over this. But, that wasn't much of an excuse because it was already messing with our friendship; we both knew that. Maybe I was stupid to think there was something more between us than just this platonic thing as early as I did, but... but at some point, it was there and I know you felt it too."
Blaine had been something of a savior to Kurt, that much was true. He had been a confidant right from the first time they talked. He had come riding in on his white horse when Kurt needed him. He was the friend Kurt needed through his bullying issues at McKinley and his transfer to Dalton. Perhaps Kurt had some sort of hero-complex crush on Blaine from the beginning, something that Blaine obviously wouldn't reciprocate.
Maybe Kurt had mistaken Blaine's charm, friendliness, and self-sacrificing, ever-present desire to help for something more. But, for Kurt's own emotional well-being, he knew that after what had gone down with Jeremiah and then with Rachel, he couldn't just be this silly, naive boy who had been waiting around to be wanted. Even if that wasn't the real case, that was how he felt, and how could he ever be confident in himself if he just let it be, now?
"Yeah, we're just these two teenage boys bumbling through life with all these crazy emotions and irrational fears and neither of us knows what we're doing," continued Kurt. "Yeah, I've been absolutely head over heels for you for months, now. Yes, I'm absolutely amazed and overjoyed that you have finally come to the realization that led you here today..."
"Kurt," cut in Blaine, his voice steady, but panic was showing behind his eyes.
"But," exclaimed Kurt, not ready to be interrupted just yet. "But, Blaine, you don't get to waltz in here and say those lovely things and kiss me and expect everything to be fine. I want you to; honestly, I want this to be okay. I want this. But, I have more self-respect than that, Blaine. I am not just... just... this person you can just..."
The tears finally took over and Kurt couldn't finish his speech or rant or whatever it was. The pale-skinned boy wrapped his arms tightly around himself as if trying to suppress the sobs in his chest. A few escaped, however, which sent guilt coursing through Blaine's body.
"Kurt... I..." Blaine started, reaching to hug him.
"Could you please go?" asked Kurt, timidly. "I would, but I need to clean all this up, first."
Blaine dropped his arms. He searched Kurt's face for any sign of hope, but all he could see was how upset the boy was. With a soft sigh, he nodded and stood to leave. He paused when he reached the door.
"I'm sorry it took so long, Kurt," he spoke just above a whisper, not even sure if Kurt could hear him or not.
"Don't give up just yet," whispered Kurt, after Blaine had left the room.
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~13,745
Spoilers: "Original Song", Season 2, Glee
Summary: Blaine finally realizes that he is in love with Kurt, but is it too late?
"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" asked Kurt, brow furrowing slightly as he asked.
Blaine stared at him for a moment, heart pounding in his ears. Closing his eyes and taking a breath he spoke - it was now or never.
"Kurt, there is a moment where you say to yourself, 'oh, there you are, I've been looking for you forever'."
Kurt's breath caught in his throat, he was sure he was going to melt into a puddle of goo as he stared into Blaine's eyes for that multi-houred millisecond. Blaine scooted closer to Kurt, then, and nervously placed his hand over Kurt's.
"Watching you sing Blackbird this week was that moment for me, about you," continued Blaine, slowly as if choosing his words carefully and nervously. "You move me, Kurt, and this duet would just be an excuse for me to spend more time with you."
So many thoughts and emotions were passing through Kurt at that moment; terror, excitement, complete and utter jubilation, and yet, for some reason the one he chose to hold on to was a question. He wondered to himself as to whether Blaine had rehearsed that speech a few times before coming in or if he was making it up on the fly. Kurt smirked slightly at that thought, Blaine could be so eloquent that he wouldn't put past him to have come up with that amazing speech on the spot.
Kurt didn't have a chance to contemplate the meaning of life any longer, though, as he continued to stare into Blaine's nutmeg eyes, because Blaine rose from his seat and moved timidly but purposefully toward Kurt. Sucking in a deep breath, Kurt tensed. This would have been a perfect first kiss for him and perfect start to the relationship with Blaine that he had almost given up on actually getting. The lovely speech, the beautiful boy in front of him, the emotions flying through both their eyes... this would have been perfect. The problem was the 'would have' part.
"Blaine!" exhaled Kurt before their lips could touch, leaning his head back a little.
Eyes suddenly wide open, hand dropping from the side of Kurt's face, Blaine sat back down in his chair with a thump. He stared at Kurt with searching eyes for a few moments as Kurt sought to catch his breath.
"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to say that," sighed Kurt, seeing hurt beginning to replace the surprise in Blaine's eyes. "Well, something like that. I would have never expected such a beautiful and eloquent speech, to be honest."
The corners of Blaine's mouth twitched at Kurt's words.
"Blaine," started Kurt after a few moments of solemn silence. "You can't just say all these sweet things and then try to kiss me - Not after you spent months throwing me mixed signals and broke my heart... repeatedly."
Kurt's eyes began to well with tears in that moment. Blaine bit his lip as his heart wretched in pain; this wasn't how this was supposed to go.
"I get it, though," spoke Kurt, again. He was trying to keep his voice even, though the steep rising and falling of his chest was already giving himself away. "You were searching, you weren't sure, and you didn't want to mess with our friendship over this. But, that wasn't much of an excuse because it was already messing with our friendship; we both knew that. Maybe I was stupid to think there was something more between us than just this platonic thing as early as I did, but... but at some point, it was there and I know you felt it too."
Blaine had been something of a savior to Kurt, that much was true. He had been a confidant right from the first time they talked. He had come riding in on his white horse when Kurt needed him. He was the friend Kurt needed through his bullying issues at McKinley and his transfer to Dalton. Perhaps Kurt had some sort of hero-complex crush on Blaine from the beginning, something that Blaine obviously wouldn't reciprocate.
Maybe Kurt had mistaken Blaine's charm, friendliness, and self-sacrificing, ever-present desire to help for something more. But, for Kurt's own emotional well-being, he knew that after what had gone down with Jeremiah and then with Rachel, he couldn't just be this silly, naive boy who had been waiting around to be wanted. Even if that wasn't the real case, that was how he felt, and how could he ever be confident in himself if he just let it be, now?
"Yeah, we're just these two teenage boys bumbling through life with all these crazy emotions and irrational fears and neither of us knows what we're doing," continued Kurt. "Yeah, I've been absolutely head over heels for you for months, now. Yes, I'm absolutely amazed and overjoyed that you have finally come to the realization that led you here today..."
"Kurt," cut in Blaine, his voice steady, but panic was showing behind his eyes.
"But," exclaimed Kurt, not ready to be interrupted just yet. "But, Blaine, you don't get to waltz in here and say those lovely things and kiss me and expect everything to be fine. I want you to; honestly, I want this to be okay. I want this. But, I have more self-respect than that, Blaine. I am not just... just... this person you can just..."
The tears finally took over and Kurt couldn't finish his speech or rant or whatever it was. The pale-skinned boy wrapped his arms tightly around himself as if trying to suppress the sobs in his chest. A few escaped, however, which sent guilt coursing through Blaine's body.
"Kurt... I..." Blaine started, reaching to hug him.
"Could you please go?" asked Kurt, timidly. "I would, but I need to clean all this up, first."
Blaine dropped his arms. He searched Kurt's face for any sign of hope, but all he could see was how upset the boy was. With a soft sigh, he nodded and stood to leave. He paused when he reached the door.
"I'm sorry it took so long, Kurt," he spoke just above a whisper, not even sure if Kurt could hear him or not.
"Don't give up just yet," whispered Kurt, after Blaine had left the room.