[for Friends] happy birthday

[daretodo]

The only reason I remember it's my birthday today at all is because Pepper asked me if I want a party earlier in the week. I declined the offer, of course, both not wanting to trouble her any more than I already have and not up to the celebration. It's an occasion I meet with trepidation instead of jubilation, never having honestly thought I'd live

Comments

[notawastedlife]

Rapture had been a mess. Innovative, interesting place, but then they got into the genetic modification, and Tony had never been a fan. Unreliable. Unpredictable. Obviously. Mess. A tragic mess.

Which just reinforced the need to work on his own projects, clearly, the better way to the future. The better island alternative. Although the one he'd just finished up was geared less towards escape and more towards... island security.

But Rapture -- hell, island life every few months -- had proved that was also important.

One robotic guard dog, although it looked less dog-like than Dope did. More of an insectoid lizard feel, but with less legs, currently circling the scrapyard, until it suddenly twisted and darted across, making a beeline for-

Okay, probably shouldn't let the guard dog accost Peter. Hilarious, but-

"Hey- whatever I'm calling you. Halt. Allow access."

[daretodo]

"Jeez!"

The portfolio Cap put my gift in isn't exactly made out of vibranium, meaning it's a pretty lousy means of defense against Tony's latest toy, but seeing as it's the only thing I'm holding, it's what I instinctively move to put between me and the robot. Not that I end up needing it, granted, since it comes to a dead halt about a couple feet away. So I get to save the drawing, if not, you know, my dignity.

Then again, I think that was probably beyond saving a long time go.

Lowering the portfolio, I flash Tony an irked look. "A heads up would've been nice."

[notawastedlife]

"It moves faster than I do, if I could get here first why would I... need it?" Tony said, walking around the robot to make sure it wasn't looking like it was going to attack anyway.

Also that it wasn't going to fall over or break itself, it was the next iteration in a project that had previously produced, well... Dope.

"This is Peter, Peter this is... as-yet-unnamed robot. As-yet-unnamed robot, he has general access."

[daretodo]

"Only general access? And here I thought we could share everything," I say, shaking my head ruefully. It's an act, of course. In truth, I'm not actually that surprised, assuming there's even more than general access to be had in the first place. I mean, we're two loners who happen to be friends. Privacy remains something that exists, on both sides of the equation.

"Where's the trust, Tony?" I add, continuing my progress into the scrapyard now that I'm not about to get run over. "Where is the trust?"

[notawastedlife]

"What? General, as in... general admission, to all the exhibits," Tony said, which was more or less true, in that it did mean Peter could come and go as he chose and wasn't going to be restricted by the robot.

Except under certain specific circumstances and in instances related to things that weren't general admission. He figured that was reasonable, though, Peter wasn't about to show him all of his cards, either. A certain degree of privacy was healthy.

[daretodo]

"Well, in that case," I say, turning on my heel just long enough to flash him a grin, like a kid who just got the keys to the candy store... Albeit a candy store I've been to on a regular basis for over two years without ever needing a key before.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to visit my hypothetical, keyless candy store.

"Is it ready for active duty, then, or is this just a test run?"

[notawastedlife]

"...how long have you known me?" Tony said, then sharply swiped his hand at nothing. "Complicated question, never mind. It's- active duty is the test run, I think it makes for a better test."

Test cases were fine. Test cases covered a lot, they were thorough.

Test cases were boring. Real world trials, that was the stuff. He never would have picked up on the icing problem in the Mark II if he hadn't just taken it out and opened it up.

[daretodo]

"...point," I have to admit, index finger of my free hand lifting in the air in punctuation. "You just usually have a name by now. Guess I showed up a couple minutes earlier in the 'I just turned on my potentially dangerous and completely untested device that I plan on unleashing on the general public with not nearly as many safeguards as it probably needs' process than I do normally."

I set down the portfolio in a place I'm relatively certain it won't get damaged or dirty (or both), then turn back around to finally get a better look at this Insecto Bot 3000 he's built. It is, as Tony Stark's inventions typically are, wildly impressive, and I take a sort of running look at it, making my way around it in a circle, dropping down into a crouch when necessary to get a gander at the underbelly, so to speak.

"Is it for my birthday?" I ask, debating the merits of actually touching the thing without knowing if it'll explode in my face.

I do know it's not for my birthday, though. I mean, Pepper had to remind me of my birthday, the timing

[notawastedlife]

The robot swivelled to keep Peter in view, eyepieces swivelling and rotating, projected beams of light maintaining the fix, recording, noting.

"...it's not your birthday, that's a trick- it's your birthday?"

Well, he wasn't getting the robot, the robot was for the scrapyard. He'd won a flight with Iron Man in the auction, so trying that was out, too. There'd be something.

"You don't want a guard dog. No take home value. Take some parts for the Vespa, or something. You probably already have, you're welcome."

[daretodo]

I'm not sure how much I like those lights. The aesthetic is fine, obviously, but what they necessarily imply isn't. I'm not a big fan of A.I. having the jump on me, it just never ends well. When I have some time on my own, I might have to stretch the definition of general access a little to include a look at its hardware.

"Your thoughtfulness never ceases to surprise me," I say on a snort. "I'm thirty, by the way, thanks for asking." I stand up, and briefly clap a hand to his shoulder as I pass him. "Which is both older than I ever thought I'd live to see and still young enough to be the son you illegitimately had when you were at MIT." A beat. "I have your eyes, don'tcha think?"

[notawastedlife]

"Well, let me welcome you to adulthood," Tony said, with a solemn complete lack of irony.

Which, wait, what was the math on that? Tony was good at math, and very good at math involving demonstrating he was not the father. Obviously he was older than Pete, but that much older than a 30 year old? That was, that was alarming. That was disturbing.

"...how old do you think I am?"

[daretodo]

"I think you're turning 45 on October 9th," I say without skipping a beat, fighting back a smile, because I think I'm about to induce a midlife crisis, here. I clap my hands together instead.

"Ooh, ask me another one. I'll take 'More Knowledgeable Friends Than Tony Stark' for 400 coconuts, Alex."

[notawastedlife]

"Which is too old to be fathering- okay, when did I graduate- no, I'm not playing your game," Tony said, having identified said game, after that sentence, as one that no one won.

Which meant that no matter how it fell out Peter would still probably get more points. Clearly silly and pointless, as an exercise.

"I wasn't fathering kids at 14. Almost that precocious. Not quite. Also not fathering kids... later than 14, but, different reasons, you know."

[daretodo]

"Do those different reasons include that if you and Pepper ever had kids, they'd be raised by a progressively more advanced series of robot nannies and me?" I ask, brows arching.

"You could make a lady friend for Jarvis."

[notawastedlife]

"I meant birth control, but, that would be the reason for the- does Jarvis strike you as wanting a lady friend? He's very... Jarvis," Tony said, taking the derail, walking backwards and watching the guard robot pad along behind him.

[daretodo]

"Make a guy friend, then," I say with a shrug. "It'd be an unconventional family no matter how you cut it, anyway. You'd be involved."