TIME WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE
Title: Time Without Consequence
Written By: so_wildish
Timeline: Future
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.
Summary: I dare you to tell me a secret.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slight angst
Author’s Note: Huge thanks to my beta. :) Title taken from Alexi Murdoch.
“I dare you to tell me a secret.”
Brian quirked an eyebrow at Justin’s request, enjoying how Justin snuggled further into his chest.
“An honest to God secret,” Justin murmured. “Something you haven’t even told Michael.”
Brian sighed deeply, combing his hand through Justin’s hair. Justin noticed his tension and raised his head enough to look Brian in the eye.
“Do you have any secrets left?” Justin whispered, keeping his eyes closed and his face turned inward into Brian’s body, unable to physically face what he imagined Brian’s expression to look like.
“It’s not that,” Brian stated, shaking his head. “But some things are better left forgotten and unsaid.”
Justin nodded slowly before smirking mischievously. “I double dog dare you.”
Brian chuckled. “Joke’s on you, Sunshine, that means you have to speak up, too.”
Justin grinned. “Okay. You first.”
Brian paused for a moment before starting to speak softly. “When I was eight, my Dad took me camping. For an entire weekend, it was just him and me.”
Justin’s face registered surprise and then warmth when Brian paused, but continued.
“We fished, slept outside, and he told me stories. He even sang songs on the way down to the campsite. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so free … so happy.”
Justin lightly stroked Brian’s bicep, offering silent comfort. To anyone else, Brian would look perfectly normal, but Justin knew better. Tears filled his eyes at Brian’s next admission.
“He didn’t hit me once,” Brian whispered quietly, achingly. “And I remember with perfect clarity the moment when I realized that even though he hit me a lot, I loved him. We were standing by the lake and I was attempting to fish.”
Brian and Justin both laughed at Brian’s emphasis on “attempting.”
“Somehow, I got myself caught on something and next thing I know, I’m falling face first in the water. At first, I thought he’d be mad. But he wasn’t.”
Brian smiled, wrapping his arm around Justin’s waist as Justin propped himself up on his arm, leaning in further.
“I looked up,” Brian continued, “and he was laughing. I got embarrassed and was going to get angry, but then I realized he was holding his hand out to help me up. He pulled me out of the water and then he taught me how to fish the right way.”
Justin smiled. “How long did you camp for?”
Brian’s expression dimmed. “Only three days. When we got back, he punched me for accidentally breaking a vase.”
Justin’s hand slid up to Brian’s shoulder to stroke his face, offering comfort in the only way he knew how. Saying sorry wouldn’t change anything and would only serve to piss Brian off, so he stayed quiet.
Brian shrugged, looking Justin in the eye. “It was worth it. I had three days with him. Those three days were the only reason I never really honestly hated him.”
Justin smiled, kissing Brian lightly, attempting to deepen it, only to be stopped by Brian.
“Brian, what?” Justin gasped.
Brian grinned, kissing Justin firmly once more.
“I dare you to tell me a secret,” Brian murmured into Justin’s ear, causing Justin to shudder and smile widely.
Justin leaned back and pretended to think, starting to speak only when Brian jabbed him playfully in the ribs. He leaned in and spoke quietly, while keeping his eyes locked onto Brian’s.
“You walked into the prom with that scared look on your face and stopped for a second as if you didn’t know exactly where I was.”
Brian’s eyes widened and he spoke softly. “When did you…?”
Justin ignored him and continued to speak quickly. “Daphne had to tap me to let me know you were there, but I think some part of me knew. I didn’t know what the feeling meant then, but it’s remarkable what remembrance highlights.”
Brian’s mouth fell open, but he stayed silent.
“It gives you your memories and hindsight all at once. Details are clearer and things make more sense. It’s amazing because I remember what I felt when I saw you then, but I see it and feel it with a more practiced eye and a more practiced heart.”
Brian would have laughed if this speech was coming from anyone but Justin.
“You were sarcastic and charming and so beautiful that you took my breath away. It made me wish I was like that scarf around your neck right at that moment - I wanted to be wrapped around you and molding myself to the contours of your body. Pale and shocking against your skin …”
Justin’s hand trailed down Brian’s side as he continued.
“And when you led me onto the dance floor, my heart was beating so loud I was embarrassed you’d feel it when you held me. We danced and I remember very clearly wondering where you’d learned and thinking it made sense. You have a dancer’s body, all long and lean. Knowing you, it was raw talent.”
Justin’s hand slid beneath Brian’s jeans and stroked his cock softly, almost delicately, twisting at the head and reveling in his ability to make Brian sigh. Justin timed his strokes with the beat of his voice and soon had Brian stirring, trying to ask for more without saying a word.
“It was so romantic, the way we danced,” breathed Justin. “Your hips against mine, you moving the way that felt best. I remember thinking that everyone was watching but not giving a shit. I remember thinking that I loved you.”
Justin stopped stroking Brian, bringing his arms around Brian’s waist and holding him close. Brian sighed deeply and buried his face into the curvature of Justin’s neck, enjoying the feeling of Justin’s mouth against his ear and his low voice.
“I remember that during the dance, right before you dipped me, I thought to myself that if I died tonight, for whatever reason, at least I’d die happy.”
Brian hugged Justin tighter.
“It’s not like I knew,” Justin continued. “It was just an eighteen-year-old’s feeling of invincibility. At the time, I felt that nothing could hurt me.”
“When did you remember?” Brian asked, the words muffled into Justin’s neck.
“A couple of weeks ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now, Brian,” Justin said firmly and then paused. “And I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It was so odd, almost like the attack itself in that it came out of nowhere. I was sitting on a bench in the park sketching and … I don’t know. I looked up and saw this kid playing and it was like my entire body relaxed. Next thing I know, I remember.”
Silence fell and they lay comfortably for a moment.
“It made me think, though,” Justin murmured, lightly tugging on Brian’s hair to get his attention. Brian smirked and looked at him, his face softening when their eyes connected.
“About what?” Brian asked, his tone giving away his interest and concern.
“It made me feel different about the attack,” Justin tried to explain. “I mean, having these memories - those thoughts and feelings. It made me feel almost ...okay with it, at least with it in the past and comfortably behind me.”
Brian arched his eyebrow, silently asking for an elaboration, carefully keeping his face neutral as his insides warred.
“It just made me glad for the way it bonded us, because I have this feeling now that without it or its aftermath, we wouldn’t be sitting here together now.”
Justin paused and grinned before adding “…and telling secrets.”
Brian playfully punched him in the arm before his face turned serious.
“I’ll never be even slightly okay with it,” Brian said, his voice harsh from emotion. “And I disagree with you.”
Justin cocked his head in question. Brian smiled slightly and trailed his fingers down Justin’s cheek.
“I think we would still be here together. You’d just be telling a different secret,” Brian murmured, closing his eyes to hide as much of himself as he could. “You still would have been the most persistent little shit ever and I still would have loved you.”
Brian’s fingers continued their journey mapping Justin’s face and neck and it jarred Justin how rough his voice seemed when he spoke again. Tension lined his face and Justin worried that it had been his admission that had put the new lines there. In all the years they’d known each other, Justin had never seen Brian’s face show the passage of time and the wear and tear of the years behind him and something cramped deep in his stomach at the idea of Brian under any stress.
“Why would you ever believe anything different?” Brian questioned, his words soft but firm.
Justin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Breathing in deep, he forced himself to capture Brian’s eyes and think about his response.
“It’s not that I doubt your love for me now,” Justin said slowly. “But even you have to admit that without the … attack … to confirm and sort of force your feelings to the surface, we probably wouldn’t be here.”
Brian sighed and nodded. “I agree with you, sort of. The attack did cement things for us, in a way. But it wasn’t the attack that brought my feelings to the surface.”
Justin stared at Brian openly, silently urging him to continue. Brian ducked his head as if embarrassed and Justin had to strain to hear him when he spoke next.
“I knew I loved you before the bashing. Even before I stepped into the hall for your prom.”
Justin grinned brightly. Brian lifted his head and answered it with a matching, self-mocking grin of his own.
“Why the fuck did you think I was there?” Brian almost exclaimed, sounding amused. “At a high school prom for fuck’s sake.”
Justin could barely restrain himself from hugging Brian hard to his chest. Instead, he asked the question still burning in his mind.
“So you honestly think that we’d still be here?”
Brian nodded slowly, capturing Justin’s hand in his own. “I won’t lie. I don’t think we’d be here.”
Justin flinched, but let Brian continue.
“But … I’m beginning to discover that destination isn’t as important as I’ve always thought.” Brian took a deep breath. “All my life I’ve strived towards a goal, any goal, with the intensity of a horse racing with blinders. I didn’t see anything to my left or to my right and now I’m beginning to wonder what I missed and if it was important and if …” Brian lowered his head. “… And if maybe, that’s why it’s so hard for me to say what I know I should say more often. And I want to do that, for you, because you deserve it and I know that. So I’m learning to enjoy my lefts and my rights. Albeit slowly.”
Justin stared at Brian. “What exactly does all of that mean?”
Brian burst out laughing. “Here I am trying to be eloquent and you don’t understand!”
Justin smiled and bumped his forehead against Brian’s. “I know what you mean, Brian. But I want to hear you say it.”
Brian playfully rubbed his nose along Justin’s before bringing his eyes up to catch hold of Justin’s.
“You’re my front, back, left and right, Justin. In everything.”
Brian framed Justin’s face with his hand and carefully wiped the happy tear that had escaped Justin’s eye. He kissed him softly.
Justin got it suddenly. It. This moment was defining and unquestionably beautiful and why did I ever need the words?
Brian had just told him everything he needed to know and the surge of love filling his insides made him ache for something impossible. He wanted Brian in him, around him, with him and everything all at the same fucking time. He knew that this insatiable want was insanity so he settled for attacking Brian’s lips with his own, bruising them with a kiss that was ferocious in its intensity. Justin vaguely understood that Brian was giving as good as he was getting but only knew he needed to show Brian the insanity he inspired. The hand stroking his hard cock was pleasurable and intense, but it was the feeling of Brian’s skin under his and the beat of his heart that truly aroused Justin beyond belief.
He inhaled Brian’s cock, bringing it into his mouth carefully but eagerly. He didn’t build anything up, but simply sucked and hummed and licked the vein on the underside until Brian shouted, grabbing at his hair and blabbering nonsense. Justin swallowed his come, enjoying the feel of it sliding down his throat, and let Brian’s spent dick slip from his mouth before burying his face into the warm flesh of Brian’s groin, inhaling his scent. The image of Brian’s arched back and taut stomach stuck in his mind and made him urgently rub against the thigh below him. Brian immediately flipped them over and straddled Justin. He peeled off his clothes slowly, causing Justin to whine and breathe rapidly.
“Close your eyes,” whispered Brian.
Justin obeyed without hesitation.
He smiled as he heard the tearing of the condom wrapper, knowing that Brian could never tease him for long. He tried to open his eyes when Brian rolled the condom over his dick and followed it with lube, but Brian covered his face and then -
Oh. Fuck.
Brian was sitting on him. Justin’s dick was buried in Brian’s ass and Brian was on top and they’d never done it that way before. Brian panted and bounced and his palm was so sweaty it slid off Justin’s face and Justin saw.
He saw Brian moving slowly and purposefully, riding Justin’s cock to climax. He put his hands on either side of Justin’s face, dropped himself low, and started to move faster. Justin barely found the breath to gasp, much less speak, his eyes rolling back into his head from the sight alone. His hand reached down to pull on Brian’s leaking cock and jerk him to completion, but he nearly screamed when Brian slapped his hand away, bounced three times, arched and came without any direct contact to his dick. He shuddered silently as he continued to rock and Justin bit him as he came harder than he’d come in a long time.
They stayed locked together longer than they should. Brian finally pulled free from Justin, caressing his face once before disposing of the condom. Justin tried to speak as Brian turned back to face him but couldn’t. Brian kissed him softly and brought a finger to his lips, lightly shushing him.
Justin fell asleep with he’s given me everything running through his head. In the morning, Brian was surly and slightly aggressive and basic morning Brian. Justin didn’t mind it and smiled brightly when they share a hazelnut syrup flavored kiss over the counter and Justin knew that everything was all right from the ache in his chest, which seems lighter than ever.
He knew with shocking clarity that what he really wanted and needed from Brian wasn’t a fantasy he’d built up in his head, but exactly this and nothing more.
Written By: so_wildish
Timeline: Future
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.
Summary: I dare you to tell me a secret.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slight angst
Author’s Note: Huge thanks to my beta. :) Title taken from Alexi Murdoch.
“I dare you to tell me a secret.”
Brian quirked an eyebrow at Justin’s request, enjoying how Justin snuggled further into his chest.
“An honest to God secret,” Justin murmured. “Something you haven’t even told Michael.”
Brian sighed deeply, combing his hand through Justin’s hair. Justin noticed his tension and raised his head enough to look Brian in the eye.
“Do you have any secrets left?” Justin whispered, keeping his eyes closed and his face turned inward into Brian’s body, unable to physically face what he imagined Brian’s expression to look like.
“It’s not that,” Brian stated, shaking his head. “But some things are better left forgotten and unsaid.”
Justin nodded slowly before smirking mischievously. “I double dog dare you.”
Brian chuckled. “Joke’s on you, Sunshine, that means you have to speak up, too.”
Justin grinned. “Okay. You first.”
Brian paused for a moment before starting to speak softly. “When I was eight, my Dad took me camping. For an entire weekend, it was just him and me.”
Justin’s face registered surprise and then warmth when Brian paused, but continued.
“We fished, slept outside, and he told me stories. He even sang songs on the way down to the campsite. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so free … so happy.”
Justin lightly stroked Brian’s bicep, offering silent comfort. To anyone else, Brian would look perfectly normal, but Justin knew better. Tears filled his eyes at Brian’s next admission.
“He didn’t hit me once,” Brian whispered quietly, achingly. “And I remember with perfect clarity the moment when I realized that even though he hit me a lot, I loved him. We were standing by the lake and I was attempting to fish.”
Brian and Justin both laughed at Brian’s emphasis on “attempting.”
“Somehow, I got myself caught on something and next thing I know, I’m falling face first in the water. At first, I thought he’d be mad. But he wasn’t.”
Brian smiled, wrapping his arm around Justin’s waist as Justin propped himself up on his arm, leaning in further.
“I looked up,” Brian continued, “and he was laughing. I got embarrassed and was going to get angry, but then I realized he was holding his hand out to help me up. He pulled me out of the water and then he taught me how to fish the right way.”
Justin smiled. “How long did you camp for?”
Brian’s expression dimmed. “Only three days. When we got back, he punched me for accidentally breaking a vase.”
Justin’s hand slid up to Brian’s shoulder to stroke his face, offering comfort in the only way he knew how. Saying sorry wouldn’t change anything and would only serve to piss Brian off, so he stayed quiet.
Brian shrugged, looking Justin in the eye. “It was worth it. I had three days with him. Those three days were the only reason I never really honestly hated him.”
Justin smiled, kissing Brian lightly, attempting to deepen it, only to be stopped by Brian.
“Brian, what?” Justin gasped.
Brian grinned, kissing Justin firmly once more.
“I dare you to tell me a secret,” Brian murmured into Justin’s ear, causing Justin to shudder and smile widely.
Justin leaned back and pretended to think, starting to speak only when Brian jabbed him playfully in the ribs. He leaned in and spoke quietly, while keeping his eyes locked onto Brian’s.
“You walked into the prom with that scared look on your face and stopped for a second as if you didn’t know exactly where I was.”
Brian’s eyes widened and he spoke softly. “When did you…?”
Justin ignored him and continued to speak quickly. “Daphne had to tap me to let me know you were there, but I think some part of me knew. I didn’t know what the feeling meant then, but it’s remarkable what remembrance highlights.”
Brian’s mouth fell open, but he stayed silent.
“It gives you your memories and hindsight all at once. Details are clearer and things make more sense. It’s amazing because I remember what I felt when I saw you then, but I see it and feel it with a more practiced eye and a more practiced heart.”
Brian would have laughed if this speech was coming from anyone but Justin.
“You were sarcastic and charming and so beautiful that you took my breath away. It made me wish I was like that scarf around your neck right at that moment - I wanted to be wrapped around you and molding myself to the contours of your body. Pale and shocking against your skin …”
Justin’s hand trailed down Brian’s side as he continued.
“And when you led me onto the dance floor, my heart was beating so loud I was embarrassed you’d feel it when you held me. We danced and I remember very clearly wondering where you’d learned and thinking it made sense. You have a dancer’s body, all long and lean. Knowing you, it was raw talent.”
Justin’s hand slid beneath Brian’s jeans and stroked his cock softly, almost delicately, twisting at the head and reveling in his ability to make Brian sigh. Justin timed his strokes with the beat of his voice and soon had Brian stirring, trying to ask for more without saying a word.
“It was so romantic, the way we danced,” breathed Justin. “Your hips against mine, you moving the way that felt best. I remember thinking that everyone was watching but not giving a shit. I remember thinking that I loved you.”
Justin stopped stroking Brian, bringing his arms around Brian’s waist and holding him close. Brian sighed deeply and buried his face into the curvature of Justin’s neck, enjoying the feeling of Justin’s mouth against his ear and his low voice.
“I remember that during the dance, right before you dipped me, I thought to myself that if I died tonight, for whatever reason, at least I’d die happy.”
Brian hugged Justin tighter.
“It’s not like I knew,” Justin continued. “It was just an eighteen-year-old’s feeling of invincibility. At the time, I felt that nothing could hurt me.”
“When did you remember?” Brian asked, the words muffled into Justin’s neck.
“A couple of weeks ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now, Brian,” Justin said firmly and then paused. “And I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It was so odd, almost like the attack itself in that it came out of nowhere. I was sitting on a bench in the park sketching and … I don’t know. I looked up and saw this kid playing and it was like my entire body relaxed. Next thing I know, I remember.”
Silence fell and they lay comfortably for a moment.
“It made me think, though,” Justin murmured, lightly tugging on Brian’s hair to get his attention. Brian smirked and looked at him, his face softening when their eyes connected.
“About what?” Brian asked, his tone giving away his interest and concern.
“It made me feel different about the attack,” Justin tried to explain. “I mean, having these memories - those thoughts and feelings. It made me feel almost ...okay with it, at least with it in the past and comfortably behind me.”
Brian arched his eyebrow, silently asking for an elaboration, carefully keeping his face neutral as his insides warred.
“It just made me glad for the way it bonded us, because I have this feeling now that without it or its aftermath, we wouldn’t be sitting here together now.”
Justin paused and grinned before adding “…and telling secrets.”
Brian playfully punched him in the arm before his face turned serious.
“I’ll never be even slightly okay with it,” Brian said, his voice harsh from emotion. “And I disagree with you.”
Justin cocked his head in question. Brian smiled slightly and trailed his fingers down Justin’s cheek.
“I think we would still be here together. You’d just be telling a different secret,” Brian murmured, closing his eyes to hide as much of himself as he could. “You still would have been the most persistent little shit ever and I still would have loved you.”
Brian’s fingers continued their journey mapping Justin’s face and neck and it jarred Justin how rough his voice seemed when he spoke again. Tension lined his face and Justin worried that it had been his admission that had put the new lines there. In all the years they’d known each other, Justin had never seen Brian’s face show the passage of time and the wear and tear of the years behind him and something cramped deep in his stomach at the idea of Brian under any stress.
“Why would you ever believe anything different?” Brian questioned, his words soft but firm.
Justin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Breathing in deep, he forced himself to capture Brian’s eyes and think about his response.
“It’s not that I doubt your love for me now,” Justin said slowly. “But even you have to admit that without the … attack … to confirm and sort of force your feelings to the surface, we probably wouldn’t be here.”
Brian sighed and nodded. “I agree with you, sort of. The attack did cement things for us, in a way. But it wasn’t the attack that brought my feelings to the surface.”
Justin stared at Brian openly, silently urging him to continue. Brian ducked his head as if embarrassed and Justin had to strain to hear him when he spoke next.
“I knew I loved you before the bashing. Even before I stepped into the hall for your prom.”
Justin grinned brightly. Brian lifted his head and answered it with a matching, self-mocking grin of his own.
“Why the fuck did you think I was there?” Brian almost exclaimed, sounding amused. “At a high school prom for fuck’s sake.”
Justin could barely restrain himself from hugging Brian hard to his chest. Instead, he asked the question still burning in his mind.
“So you honestly think that we’d still be here?”
Brian nodded slowly, capturing Justin’s hand in his own. “I won’t lie. I don’t think we’d be here.”
Justin flinched, but let Brian continue.
“But … I’m beginning to discover that destination isn’t as important as I’ve always thought.” Brian took a deep breath. “All my life I’ve strived towards a goal, any goal, with the intensity of a horse racing with blinders. I didn’t see anything to my left or to my right and now I’m beginning to wonder what I missed and if it was important and if …” Brian lowered his head. “… And if maybe, that’s why it’s so hard for me to say what I know I should say more often. And I want to do that, for you, because you deserve it and I know that. So I’m learning to enjoy my lefts and my rights. Albeit slowly.”
Justin stared at Brian. “What exactly does all of that mean?”
Brian burst out laughing. “Here I am trying to be eloquent and you don’t understand!”
Justin smiled and bumped his forehead against Brian’s. “I know what you mean, Brian. But I want to hear you say it.”
Brian playfully rubbed his nose along Justin’s before bringing his eyes up to catch hold of Justin’s.
“You’re my front, back, left and right, Justin. In everything.”
Brian framed Justin’s face with his hand and carefully wiped the happy tear that had escaped Justin’s eye. He kissed him softly.
Justin got it suddenly. It. This moment was defining and unquestionably beautiful and why did I ever need the words?
Brian had just told him everything he needed to know and the surge of love filling his insides made him ache for something impossible. He wanted Brian in him, around him, with him and everything all at the same fucking time. He knew that this insatiable want was insanity so he settled for attacking Brian’s lips with his own, bruising them with a kiss that was ferocious in its intensity. Justin vaguely understood that Brian was giving as good as he was getting but only knew he needed to show Brian the insanity he inspired. The hand stroking his hard cock was pleasurable and intense, but it was the feeling of Brian’s skin under his and the beat of his heart that truly aroused Justin beyond belief.
He inhaled Brian’s cock, bringing it into his mouth carefully but eagerly. He didn’t build anything up, but simply sucked and hummed and licked the vein on the underside until Brian shouted, grabbing at his hair and blabbering nonsense. Justin swallowed his come, enjoying the feel of it sliding down his throat, and let Brian’s spent dick slip from his mouth before burying his face into the warm flesh of Brian’s groin, inhaling his scent. The image of Brian’s arched back and taut stomach stuck in his mind and made him urgently rub against the thigh below him. Brian immediately flipped them over and straddled Justin. He peeled off his clothes slowly, causing Justin to whine and breathe rapidly.
“Close your eyes,” whispered Brian.
Justin obeyed without hesitation.
He smiled as he heard the tearing of the condom wrapper, knowing that Brian could never tease him for long. He tried to open his eyes when Brian rolled the condom over his dick and followed it with lube, but Brian covered his face and then -
Oh. Fuck.
Brian was sitting on him. Justin’s dick was buried in Brian’s ass and Brian was on top and they’d never done it that way before. Brian panted and bounced and his palm was so sweaty it slid off Justin’s face and Justin saw.
He saw Brian moving slowly and purposefully, riding Justin’s cock to climax. He put his hands on either side of Justin’s face, dropped himself low, and started to move faster. Justin barely found the breath to gasp, much less speak, his eyes rolling back into his head from the sight alone. His hand reached down to pull on Brian’s leaking cock and jerk him to completion, but he nearly screamed when Brian slapped his hand away, bounced three times, arched and came without any direct contact to his dick. He shuddered silently as he continued to rock and Justin bit him as he came harder than he’d come in a long time.
They stayed locked together longer than they should. Brian finally pulled free from Justin, caressing his face once before disposing of the condom. Justin tried to speak as Brian turned back to face him but couldn’t. Brian kissed him softly and brought a finger to his lips, lightly shushing him.
Justin fell asleep with he’s given me everything running through his head. In the morning, Brian was surly and slightly aggressive and basic morning Brian. Justin didn’t mind it and smiled brightly when they share a hazelnut syrup flavored kiss over the counter and Justin knew that everything was all right from the ache in his chest, which seems lighter than ever.
He knew with shocking clarity that what he really wanted and needed from Brian wasn’t a fantasy he’d built up in his head, but exactly this and nothing more.