what has the heat done to my mind?????
So the lovely Miss Autumn made reference to the genius of R. Kelly with his new 'single' if you will, or series of singles. I was discussing this with my friend Katie...here was how it went...
Me: This is what I put in reply to my friend 'I'm so perplexed by this new R. Kelly business. Normally, I'm with you, he's very talented but what the h is this new thing? A 5 part "song" where he just tells a story that doesn't make so much sense other than he's cheating on his wife with a chick who's husband is doing a dude who knows R Kelly's wife and he wants to shoot somebody because he's trapped in the closet and it's a closet and someone's looking at the closet and he's standing in the closet and there is a door on the closet and he's trapped in the closet and now someone's opening the closet.... seriously what the h?????? why not write a song about peeing on some child's face?'
Katie: OMGOMGOMG
Katie: YES~!
Katie: i was telling my friend lauren about that song
Me: what the hell is that thing??????
Katie: i was like, "this is the most awful crap i've ever heard. i don't understand how any record executive gave this the green light"
Me: I saw the video for part 1 when I was at home and I seriously thought it was a joke!
Me: I asked the same question!
Me: Clearly he financed this album his own self and was given full 'creative' control
Me: because what the fuck is that?
Katie: LOL it's so bad
Me: go back to doing whatever drugs helped you write Gothan City PLEASE
Me: cuz this shit, sucks
Me: it's so bad yet I'm like obsessed with it because it's SO bad, just like Ignition remix, the best worst song EVER
Me: who came up with that??????
Katie: hahaha
Me: seriously though...who heard the demo cut and said, yeah man, this is a GREAT song to be the first 5 singles off your album
Katie: LOL exactly!!! that's what i'm saying. it's so...... stupefying
Me: maybe the drugs are happening now and the gotham city/ I believe I can fly/ that song for the homies thing/ the ali song was all when he was straight, he's just now derailed now that he can't piss on the faces of teenaged girls anymore
Katie: HAHAHAHA!!
Now here is where the brainstorming behind his next project began....
Katie: he should record "i wanna pee on you"
Me: YES! and it should be a single, and then just for shits and giggles he should record the same song in chinese and make that be the remix so he can get 2 singles out of it
Me: like that Ignition remix that included no part of the actual ignition song other than the title and the word ignition
Katie: well and then there could be the remix single "featuring fabolous and fat joe" or whatever
Me: I would like it if it featured Mel Torme, just to really mix that shit up
Me: R. Kelly in Chinese with Mel Torme and Robert Goulet
Katie: or kenny loggins, just singing the chorus of "danger zone"
Me: YES!!!!!!!!
Me: it should include the metallic robot voice popularized by the fine stylings of Zap and Roger.... but instead of "Iiiiiiii wanna be your man" it would be "Iiiiiii wanna pee on you"
Mother of god...I need help!!!
Me: This is what I put in reply to my friend 'I'm so perplexed by this new R. Kelly business. Normally, I'm with you, he's very talented but what the h is this new thing? A 5 part "song" where he just tells a story that doesn't make so much sense other than he's cheating on his wife with a chick who's husband is doing a dude who knows R Kelly's wife and he wants to shoot somebody because he's trapped in the closet and it's a closet and someone's looking at the closet and he's standing in the closet and there is a door on the closet and he's trapped in the closet and now someone's opening the closet.... seriously what the h?????? why not write a song about peeing on some child's face?'
Katie: OMGOMGOMG
Katie: YES~!
Katie: i was telling my friend lauren about that song
Me: what the hell is that thing??????
Katie: i was like, "this is the most awful crap i've ever heard. i don't understand how any record executive gave this the green light"
Me: I saw the video for part 1 when I was at home and I seriously thought it was a joke!
Me: I asked the same question!
Me: Clearly he financed this album his own self and was given full 'creative' control
Me: because what the fuck is that?
Katie: LOL it's so bad
Me: go back to doing whatever drugs helped you write Gothan City PLEASE
Me: cuz this shit, sucks
Me: it's so bad yet I'm like obsessed with it because it's SO bad, just like Ignition remix, the best worst song EVER
Me: who came up with that??????
Katie: hahaha
Me: seriously though...who heard the demo cut and said, yeah man, this is a GREAT song to be the first 5 singles off your album
Katie: LOL exactly!!! that's what i'm saying. it's so...... stupefying
Me: maybe the drugs are happening now and the gotham city/ I believe I can fly/ that song for the homies thing/ the ali song was all when he was straight, he's just now derailed now that he can't piss on the faces of teenaged girls anymore
Katie: HAHAHAHA!!
Now here is where the brainstorming behind his next project began....
Katie: he should record "i wanna pee on you"
Me: YES! and it should be a single, and then just for shits and giggles he should record the same song in chinese and make that be the remix so he can get 2 singles out of it
Me: like that Ignition remix that included no part of the actual ignition song other than the title and the word ignition
Katie: well and then there could be the remix single "featuring fabolous and fat joe" or whatever
Me: I would like it if it featured Mel Torme, just to really mix that shit up
Me: R. Kelly in Chinese with Mel Torme and Robert Goulet
Katie: or kenny loggins, just singing the chorus of "danger zone"
Me: YES!!!!!!!!
Me: it should include the metallic robot voice popularized by the fine stylings of Zap and Roger.... but instead of "Iiiiiiii wanna be your man" it would be "Iiiiiii wanna pee on you"
Mother of god...I need help!!!