Damn it all ....
Alyn laughed, throwing his head back, almost dropping his beer. The sound was very kidn to my ears and I just watched him, admired how happy this guy could be. It didn't take a lot for Alyn to be happy, almost like a puppy. His eyes sparkled as he calmed down and looked at me, then to my beer bottle. "Oh! Jeez, I'm such a moron," he exclaimed.
I blinked slowly, as I stared at him. "Uh ... what are you talking about, Al?"
He pointed at my empty beer bottle. "You've had that empty thing in your hand for a while now! I'm such a bad host! Do you want another one?" Alyn asked, genuinely concerned.
It took a few moments for me to grasp that he was so worried about whether or not I had a full beer in my hands. The world could have ended and Alyn would still be worried if I was thirsty or not. Suddenly I broke out laughing and the worry in his eyes was replaced by confusion. "I'm fine, Al! I only finished the damn thing while you were laughing. But sure, I'll have another."
Alyn laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Heh, sorry Darce." He grabbed my empty bottle, and my breath caught in my throat, as our fingers brushed against each other. I had to tell him. He still thinks I'm with Ryan, but he doesn't know my inability to tell him in Toronto how I felt .. was the reason I even started seeing the Oiler. "I'll get you another one!" Alyn pushed himself up off of the couch and hurried on over to the kitchen.
When he came back, I thanked him for the new beer and took a long drink. Glancing back at him, I noticed Alyn was beginning to be a bit tipsy. Oh lordy. The guy's such a freaking lightweight. "Hey, are you alright? You're not gonna pass out on me are you?" I questioned.
"Wha? Ha! No way, Darce. I'm okay!" Alyn assured me, grinning. Yep, he was gone. "Eh? What's going on Darce? You look so serious!"
"Sorry, my face is stuck this way," I joked, half-heartedly. "But Alyn .. there's something important I wanted to tell you."
"Sure!" Alyn nodded vigorously. "We're best friends Darce! You can tell me anything!"
God I hope I can. "I .. shit, there's no easy way to say this, is there?" I gripped my bottle, taking a huge drink from it before setting it down on the coffetable. "Alyn, I love you."
He blinked slowly and looked at me. "What? I love you too, Darce. We're best friends."
Oh shit, that's not what I meant ... "N-No, that's .. not in that way, Al."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean .. I love you, Alyn McCauley. Like in the way where we're not friends..." I stammered, forcing myself to look him in the eyes.
Those eyes, shit. Those eyes always broke me down. Always. Didn't matter what was going on, they'd always break me. And it looked like I just hit him with a sledgehammer and added a chairshot for good measure. "O-oh .. I'm sorry Darce ... but .. I'm with someone right now ..."
Scratch that. I'M the one being hit with a sledge and chair. With all the force of a stampedeing elephant. "I'm sorry, Alyn ... I didn't know .. fuck, I have such shitty timing... I shouldn't have said anything."
"N-no! You should have. I-I mean, I love you too .. but .. when I left Toronto, I thought that you didn't. And it was okay. Because we were friends and that's what I really wanted to keep. But .. I'm with someone. And .. I'm sorry that it's like that because God, I would have jumped at this chance. But we're already on thin ice, me and him ... I don't want ruin that either," Alyn whispered.
"S'alright, Al, really," I managed, not daring to look up into his eyes. "I'll be fine. I'm just .. I had to say it."
"Darcy, I'm really sorry," Alyn tried again. Then he did a 180. "You're still staying with me though."
"What?!"
"You're not going to stay at some hotel when you came all the way to San Jose to see me. I'll stay on the couch and you can have my bed."
"Hell no, Al. I'll stay on the couch." I waved my hand. "You stay in your bed."
"You ... you sure?"
"Yeh, I'm sure."
"Okay.." He looked back at his beer bottle and took a huge gulp, downing almost all of it. Swaying slightly he looked at me. "You have .. really pretty eyes." Suddenly, I leaned in and kissed him, smelly breath and all. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but fuck all, I'm kissing him.
And he responds to this! In fact, his arms come around me, gripping me as if I'm gonna slip out of his arms if he loosens just a bit. It was everything I imagined and more, as Alyn's tongue poked at the part of my mouth. His hand snaked up behind my shirt, his fingers lightly trailing down my back. As I was running out of breath, I pulled away and looked at him, unsure of what to say of myself. "A-Al...---"
"Shut up," Alyn commanded, leaning in to kiss me again. This time I restrained myself and pulled back even more. "Don't you wanna .. kiss me?"
"I-I do. I really do," I stammered. "B-But this is wrong, Al. I'll do this .. when the time's right .. look, I'm taking you to your bed, man..."
Did I mention I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the planet? I am.
Alyn? Call me, please.