Fic: Spare Princes and Accidental Time Machines
Title: Spare Princes and Accidental Time Machines
Genre: General/romance
Rating: PG for now
Summary : Darcy is accidentally sent back in time on Asgard where she witnesses family dynamics that look like a lifetime of prescription drug abuse and awkward Thanksgivings just waiting to happen. She tries to fix it, but also really needs to get back home before exams. Based on UsedKarma's prompt on tumblr. If anybody is interested in beta-ing I'd be thrilled.
Despite numerous examples of what could only be called poor life decisions, Tony Stark was far from stupid. Knowing this, and not really wanting to spend the next three days running interference on Coulson or, god forbid, Fury who would assuredly investigate any unauthorized use of Jane and Tony’s new machine, Darcy agreed to take the bridge into Asgard once Jane showed her three times that all the calculations were correct and Tony provided her with a souped-up taser and an equally souped-up ipad.
Darcy knew this probably counted among her own poor life decisions but she was young and hey--an ipad.
--
Something had gone wrong.
Something had clearly gone very wrong. Darcy didn’t have time to think as the bright light dissipated, leaving her scrambling along the forest floor away from the baling of dogs and excited shouts of hunters. She made it to her feet and ran faster, turning in the opposite direction as a powerfully built woman who looked rather like Sif burst into the clearing with an arrow aimed directly at her. Where the fuck was a taser when she needed it?
“Fuck!” Darcy yelped, glancing back over her shoulder at the woman who hadn’t released the arrow but still stood threateningly at the other side of the clearing. She looked back ahead in time to see a tall, narrowly built man in leather appear in front of her and turned back towards the almost-Sif before changing her mind and running back to hide behind the new comer. “Don’t let her get me!”
“Lower your weapon, Lady Sif.” his voice was deep, quiet, and utterly unperturbed by this turn of events, “The girl is obviously no beast.”
Darcy dug her fingers tighter into the sleeves of his jacket and looked around his solid frame, “Yup. Not an animal, just Darcy Lewis.”
“Stand down, Loki.” Sif ground out, as Darcy released Loki’s arm and took a step back, This was Thor’s brother? “She’s trespassing, and came here through sorcery.”
“Sorcery over which she had no control.”
“Science.” Darcy corrected, “Wormholes, Rosey-bridges, whatever. Jane sent me to tell Thor she figured out how to repair the bi-frost.”
“Obviously a madwoman.” Loki continued speaking over Darcy, “If she had any sort of power she would have shielded herself. Lower your weapon.”
Sif hesitated, but seeing Loki’s logic lowered the bow, “She’s still trespassing.”
Loki nodded, “And it shall be dealt with.” He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at Darcy, “Explain yourself.”
The dogs were coming back and the rest of the hunting party joined them as Darcy explained that Jane had sent her with the plans to repair the Bifrost opting to leave out the details of its destruction or her relationship with Thor.
When Thor joined their group in the clearing, wearing a broad smile and scruffy beard along with a less flashy set of armor than Darcy had last seen and looking younger than before she realized just how very wrong it had gone. “It seems you won Fandral, my brother can catch something on the hunt--and a fine trophy she is indeed.”
“Hey now!” Darcy snapped as Loki rolled his eyes, “Nobody’s caught anybody and I ain’t a fucking trophy.”
“You’ll have to forgive my brother, he never did understand women.” Loki’s eyes looked positively hungry as he spared her a curious look. “Come now, Brother, do apologize to the Lady.”
Thor did as he was told, but in such a way that he seemed victorious, kissing Darcy’s hand and inquiring after her name and good health all while Loki stood to the side with a look of utter boredom and discussed with Sif what would happen now.
Darcy pulled Jane’s letter and a bundle of pics she’d taken for facebook from the satchel on her shoulder. She didn’t know when she was, but she did know that if she wanted to get back home she’d need their help, and for that, she had to be a person of interest. “It’s from Jane.” she said, handing Thor the bundle with both hands, “she sends her love.”
“From who?”
“She’s your future.”
Thor took the bundle gingerly and his eyes widened as he flipped through the photos, eventually coming across one of him and Jane. He motioned over Loki and the blond one who’d introduced himself as Fandral and the three of them discussed the pictures in hushed tones. The rest of their hunting party looked at each other in shock; Loki’s eyes snapped to meet Darcy’s though his expression remained neutral as she waited for a response. “You have brought me a token of my future?”
“She sent me to give you that and help repair the Bifrost.”
“It’s not broken, Lady Darcylewis.” Fandral’s voice was gentle, but confused.
“Just Darcy.” she corrected, “And it will be. I saw the storm that broke it.”
--
Early on during the course of the three day trip back to civilization they learned that if any provoking of Darcy was going to be done her bag had to be far away from her. She had zero problem tasering a Prince or his companions, the armor was problematic, but their arms were bare. It was soon decided that they could not take it by force, for all but Sif were opposed to hitting a woman who was not a shield-maiden, and Loki was therefore enlisted to trick it from her.
Loki asked her one night over dinner if he could see her weapon, “I find it curious that it allows a non-magic take its power.”
“That’s because it’s science, not magic.” Darcy rolled her eyes, “And no.”
“Are you a science-user then, Lady Darcylewis?” Fandral took a seat next to Darcy and handed her a bowl of soup.
“I study political science at Baylor University.” Darcy shrugged, “with a minor in physics. Not that that means anything to you people.”
“So you are Lady Jane’s apprentice in the science of ruling?” Thor asked, “The lady who is to be my lover has been groomed for leadership?”
“No. I’m her intern in the science of stars. I mean, she has a leadership position now at SHIELD--which is like, national defense and--HEY!” Loki had taken the taser from Darcy’s bag and managed to magick it away as she launched herself at him and the two of them tumbled to the ground.
Loki and the other’s laughed at Darcy’s antics, and he didn’t seem to put any real effort into fighting her off until she tried to do some real damage. He caught the fist she sent speeding towards his face and flipped her to the ground before her knee could connect with his groin. Darcy found herself chest to chest with a grinning norse god who hadn’t bathed in she didn’t want to know how many days and could probably kill her with a snap of the finger if that destroyer thing he’d sent out was anything to go on. “Nice try, Darcy Lewis.” he leaned forward just a bit to whisper in her ear, she tried leaning up to snap at him before he dropped his arm over her collarbone and pinned her more securely to the ground, “But you’ll have to do better than that to catch a Prince of Asgard.”
“Even the runt of the litter has some skill.” Volstagg laughed and Sif made a disparging remark about just how much skill it took to pin a wilting flower.
“More than you might think.” Thor chuckled.
“They are not always so willing to play as you are, Lady Sif.” Loki practically purred, pressing himself closer to Darcy, “It’s a good thing we were just playing though, is it not? Actually attacking a Prince of Asgard would be grounds for execution.”
“You guys need better games.” Darcy snapped as Loki let her up and returned to his seat, cooly informing her that he would be keeping her weapon. Fandral recieved an elbow to the rib and an acorn to the head when he offered to play with Darcy anytime she liked. She hadn't liked his tone.