In response to "Hey, ho, let's go!"
Dear fans:
Someone... I think maybe it was Quinn... I hope it was Quinn... commented me on the first "Hey, ho, let's go!" entry. Whoever it was said that what I said about Tara was funny and true. I just wanted to clear some things up about that. Yes, Tara is frighteningly deceitful, and she there were times when she wrecked my vacation a bit with the things she does. But I love Tara... she's like my family. And she's more of a family to me than some of my actual blood relatives. So don't get me wrong -- it's not that I have anything... um, I guess personal? against her. Because I don't think I do. Despite what some adults in my parents's circle of friends may think of her, as sort of some sweet little angel, I know that's a facade. Though she isn't one of my best friends and probably not even a good friend of mine anymore, I still care very much for her. And right now, whether she realizes it or not, she's setting herself up for some bad stuff, and it's frustrating to watch. I feel so helpless, because even though I don't know everything that she's doing, I know enough that can get her into serious trouble. The sad thing is, a lot of people know too, everyone with the exception of her parents. And I don't know what to do about everything... her parents NEED to know what's happening, but I can't rat her out. I can't just sit back and watch either.
I'm just... lost. Lost in more ways than one. I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my hope, I'm losing my drive and ambition. I hate to say it, but I'm losing faith in so many things and people. I'm trying to keep my head up, you know? Because this is my senior year. I've got so much crap going on right now, and more to come in the very near future. The last thing I need to set me back is falling into a depression. I feel bad when I think that way because I think, "I'm so selfish... what do I have to be depressed about?" Just because some people ruin my happiness, somethings don't go my way, my family is going through some rough times... you know, despite all that, I guess I have it pretty good. I mean, I have a car, I've been in 6 different countries in less than 2 weeks, I do a lot of things other people could never dream of, my parents are still together and support me, I have 2 best friends who are there for me no matter what... you know who you are... You know, I have it pretty good. I have it better than most. But I can't help but think that no matter what happens to me in the future, I'll never be completely happy. I don't know why I think this way. Maybe it's because everytime something looks like it'll go my way and all my problems will be solved, something happens and the world is like, "Ha ha, Jackie, that's what you get for being happy for once. Don't do it again." You know that feeling where you feel like the whole world is against you? I wake up with that feeling every day of my life. That's another thing you never knew about yours truly. Write it down and keep it in a book... there's loads more where that came from.
I don't know what I'm saying. People are a disappointment. I think I'm just letting a little (a little? ha!) adversity get to me.
- Jackie
Someone... I think maybe it was Quinn... I hope it was Quinn... commented me on the first "Hey, ho, let's go!" entry. Whoever it was said that what I said about Tara was funny and true. I just wanted to clear some things up about that. Yes, Tara is frighteningly deceitful, and she there were times when she wrecked my vacation a bit with the things she does. But I love Tara... she's like my family. And she's more of a family to me than some of my actual blood relatives. So don't get me wrong -- it's not that I have anything... um, I guess personal? against her. Because I don't think I do. Despite what some adults in my parents's circle of friends may think of her, as sort of some sweet little angel, I know that's a facade. Though she isn't one of my best friends and probably not even a good friend of mine anymore, I still care very much for her. And right now, whether she realizes it or not, she's setting herself up for some bad stuff, and it's frustrating to watch. I feel so helpless, because even though I don't know everything that she's doing, I know enough that can get her into serious trouble. The sad thing is, a lot of people know too, everyone with the exception of her parents. And I don't know what to do about everything... her parents NEED to know what's happening, but I can't rat her out. I can't just sit back and watch either.
I'm just... lost. Lost in more ways than one. I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my hope, I'm losing my drive and ambition. I hate to say it, but I'm losing faith in so many things and people. I'm trying to keep my head up, you know? Because this is my senior year. I've got so much crap going on right now, and more to come in the very near future. The last thing I need to set me back is falling into a depression. I feel bad when I think that way because I think, "I'm so selfish... what do I have to be depressed about?" Just because some people ruin my happiness, somethings don't go my way, my family is going through some rough times... you know, despite all that, I guess I have it pretty good. I mean, I have a car, I've been in 6 different countries in less than 2 weeks, I do a lot of things other people could never dream of, my parents are still together and support me, I have 2 best friends who are there for me no matter what... you know who you are... You know, I have it pretty good. I have it better than most. But I can't help but think that no matter what happens to me in the future, I'll never be completely happy. I don't know why I think this way. Maybe it's because everytime something looks like it'll go my way and all my problems will be solved, something happens and the world is like, "Ha ha, Jackie, that's what you get for being happy for once. Don't do it again." You know that feeling where you feel like the whole world is against you? I wake up with that feeling every day of my life. That's another thing you never knew about yours truly. Write it down and keep it in a book... there's loads more where that came from.
I don't know what I'm saying. People are a disappointment. I think I'm just letting a little (a little? ha!) adversity get to me.
- Jackie