is it better to know...?
I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. And now I know. Is it better now that I know? I definitely wonder this. I think in part I was happier in that realm without knowledge of it...but now that I know I am disillusioned, which allows for a little more freedom I suppose. Freedom with the knowledge that they weren't as high on that pedestal as you had originally placed. Disillusioned to the idea that maybe you're not as important to them as you had originally thought. Disillusioned to the idea that maybe they feel trapped by you...that you are rather a thorn in their side than a petal in their hand. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's been coming.