i get oFF on paiN
Sooo Yesterday i finally talked to Britt for the first time this whole summer. i Missed her alot, i finally admitted that to myself. We got alot of shit straight and hopefully we could get as close as we were again, or maybe not AS close, we are TOO much alike in some ways.:x
Talking to her makes me want to call another old friend. i have been thinkin about it alot. Maybe when i think of what to say.
I finally went out the other night, did a little bit of something. John took me out and i was suprised that Nanny let me go, she was having a bad day as usual. i could say we had a pretty good time.
uhmm yesterday was kind of shitty. Had a boring day. Didn't do as much "thinking" as i usually do until later on that night.
Then talked to Corey on the phone till almost 3..Longest phone call from him ina while.
People really fuckin piss me off. i am soo tired of the same old shit. i am ready to come home, but then i am soo not. i Love how everything is always about ONE person. Get over the stupid shit...
There are other people besides me that totally overthink things. i hate that people could never let shit go, never just let other people be.
Butt what do i know..there's always another side to everything right?
There is so much shit that runs through my head about so many things..little or big. But i really just don't care to write about it anymore. i dont like to beat around the bush..and well i can't ever just come out and say anything anymore because people ASSUME that everything i write is about them or has to do with them in some matter. i do have other things that matter in my life besides this stupid shit, or worrying about stupid ass profile bullshit. But heyy, it could cross my mind everynow in then.
Do you ever notice that it's always okay for everyone else to do shit but never when you do it yourself? i don't see how some people are put through shit and see how it feels but sure don't mind putting other people through the same shit.
Why do i write in here? i really don't know. But i guess since i'm such an overthinker and all and i blow up over things i have no idea about it's easier for me to write about pointless things like this in something so stupid called Livejournal. i really do hate this thing.
If only i could explain it...
IN other News, i am getting my hair done today and thenn me and Rachel can take the pictures we wanted to, well i wanted to. YAy!
i am also comming down this weekend for the freekin Catfish fest. i think i am going to go stay with Britt, that should be fun. Hass been a while.
i am still trying that new thing, but it's not quite working..people just don't make it as easy at it could be.
Soo i am out...
No i am back, and aggervated..and wanted to write some more because i am pissed the fuck off. i am going to just come out with it. i Hate stupid ass fuckin sluts that all they wanna do is get in your shit and start some. i hate the fuckin games that they play, and yes at times i do play along, but i am over it. i'm over the stuipid messages and stupid profiles that are always about someone just to piss me off. it's always okay when someone does what they want, but when it's me thats doing it i am just being immature. i also hate being lied to, maybe you think i blow up over LITTLE things but maybe they wouldn't seem so BIG to me if you actaully tried telling me about it. Everytime i think everything is okay and that we straightened it out, it goes back to the same thing. i TRY, i really fuckin TRY to hear you out. i TRY to understand you. BUT then it's still always the same shit. it may not even be you, i woudlnt doubt that it isn't but as long as you let someone in and let them be apart of this in ANY way, they will surely take advantage of it. They usually do, in fact they ALWAYS do. i'm tired of the same story, the pattern that always repeetes itself. They say that i "overthink" things, well i do admit i think ALOT, but i wonder why? Maybe if for once someone would proove me wrong..i would ACTAULLY TRUST people. i dont really think i'll ever be able to COMPLETLEY trust people but i do give people chances and they just always proove me right. AND NO i dont go looking for it, i dont wwait for it, i might prepare myself for it, but even that doesn't ever work. The more i tell myself that i don't care the more it actually hurts me. i don't get people who have had their own problems like this, who have been there, but still dont mind doing it to someone else. i dont know about some people but i dont like sharing, only hoes like to share but we all know...people like that fit the role i guess. it shouldn't matter what they do though, it should be you that says no anyway. Maybe somethings don't seem like a big deal and maybe i dont always have the whole story or all the facts, but overthinkers are usually pretyy smart. i may blow up over something that seems so small but to me it's not. it's usually not me assuming anything, i am just not as naive as i used to be. i am not THAT fuckin stupid. Also, tell the person on the other end to keep your secret too. if you don't care to stop the childish shit or make it as easy as you can for us without the bullshit..the drama..then i am not going to try to stop it anymore. it's really your choice. i am up for the ride as long as no one else is in the back seat.
oHh well get mad, i just blew up or so thats what you call it. i just worry i guess. i think. i care. i really do. i hurt, you know? maybe there is some STORY or REASONING behind this, and i am always up for listening or trying to understand it..but how can i if you try and keep it from me? it's really all on you.
and maybe if i could talk to people i wouldn't have to talk this stupid journal, but i can never say how i really feel..not even on here. Besides, what do i know? i totally just blow things WAYY out of proportion.
NO one understands...but i do have some AMAZING friends and they are always here for me. LOVE YOU GUYSS :)
okay i am done bitchingg for today. i am ready to go home.
Talking to her makes me want to call another old friend. i have been thinkin about it alot. Maybe when i think of what to say.
I finally went out the other night, did a little bit of something. John took me out and i was suprised that Nanny let me go, she was having a bad day as usual. i could say we had a pretty good time.
uhmm yesterday was kind of shitty. Had a boring day. Didn't do as much "thinking" as i usually do until later on that night.
Then talked to Corey on the phone till almost 3..Longest phone call from him ina while.
People really fuckin piss me off. i am soo tired of the same old shit. i am ready to come home, but then i am soo not. i Love how everything is always about ONE person. Get over the stupid shit...
There are other people besides me that totally overthink things. i hate that people could never let shit go, never just let other people be.
Butt what do i know..there's always another side to everything right?
There is so much shit that runs through my head about so many things..little or big. But i really just don't care to write about it anymore. i dont like to beat around the bush..and well i can't ever just come out and say anything anymore because people ASSUME that everything i write is about them or has to do with them in some matter. i do have other things that matter in my life besides this stupid shit, or worrying about stupid ass profile bullshit. But heyy, it could cross my mind everynow in then.
Do you ever notice that it's always okay for everyone else to do shit but never when you do it yourself? i don't see how some people are put through shit and see how it feels but sure don't mind putting other people through the same shit.
Why do i write in here? i really don't know. But i guess since i'm such an overthinker and all and i blow up over things i have no idea about it's easier for me to write about pointless things like this in something so stupid called Livejournal. i really do hate this thing.
If only i could explain it...
IN other News, i am getting my hair done today and thenn me and Rachel can take the pictures we wanted to, well i wanted to. YAy!
i am also comming down this weekend for the freekin Catfish fest. i think i am going to go stay with Britt, that should be fun. Hass been a while.
i am still trying that new thing, but it's not quite working..people just don't make it as easy at it could be.
Soo i am out...
No i am back, and aggervated..and wanted to write some more because i am pissed the fuck off. i am going to just come out with it. i Hate stupid ass fuckin sluts that all they wanna do is get in your shit and start some. i hate the fuckin games that they play, and yes at times i do play along, but i am over it. i'm over the stuipid messages and stupid profiles that are always about someone just to piss me off. it's always okay when someone does what they want, but when it's me thats doing it i am just being immature. i also hate being lied to, maybe you think i blow up over LITTLE things but maybe they wouldn't seem so BIG to me if you actaully tried telling me about it. Everytime i think everything is okay and that we straightened it out, it goes back to the same thing. i TRY, i really fuckin TRY to hear you out. i TRY to understand you. BUT then it's still always the same shit. it may not even be you, i woudlnt doubt that it isn't but as long as you let someone in and let them be apart of this in ANY way, they will surely take advantage of it. They usually do, in fact they ALWAYS do. i'm tired of the same story, the pattern that always repeetes itself. They say that i "overthink" things, well i do admit i think ALOT, but i wonder why? Maybe if for once someone would proove me wrong..i would ACTAULLY TRUST people. i dont really think i'll ever be able to COMPLETLEY trust people but i do give people chances and they just always proove me right. AND NO i dont go looking for it, i dont wwait for it, i might prepare myself for it, but even that doesn't ever work. The more i tell myself that i don't care the more it actually hurts me. i don't get people who have had their own problems like this, who have been there, but still dont mind doing it to someone else. i dont know about some people but i dont like sharing, only hoes like to share but we all know...people like that fit the role i guess. it shouldn't matter what they do though, it should be you that says no anyway. Maybe somethings don't seem like a big deal and maybe i dont always have the whole story or all the facts, but overthinkers are usually pretyy smart. i may blow up over something that seems so small but to me it's not. it's usually not me assuming anything, i am just not as naive as i used to be. i am not THAT fuckin stupid. Also, tell the person on the other end to keep your secret too. if you don't care to stop the childish shit or make it as easy as you can for us without the bullshit..the drama..then i am not going to try to stop it anymore. it's really your choice. i am up for the ride as long as no one else is in the back seat.
oHh well get mad, i just blew up or so thats what you call it. i just worry i guess. i think. i care. i really do. i hurt, you know? maybe there is some STORY or REASONING behind this, and i am always up for listening or trying to understand it..but how can i if you try and keep it from me? it's really all on you.
and maybe if i could talk to people i wouldn't have to talk this stupid journal, but i can never say how i really feel..not even on here. Besides, what do i know? i totally just blow things WAYY out of proportion.
NO one understands...but i do have some AMAZING friends and they are always here for me. LOVE YOU GUYSS :)
okay i am done bitchingg for today. i am ready to go home.