(no subject)
Heres my process analysis essay thing for english class..i dont know if the spacing will come out right but here:
How to be a Fat Slob
There are many kids in this world who have a special love for food and will go to great lengths to fulfill their appetite. There are also a select few who besides having a love for food, are sloppy in nature. This is how you characterize a fat slob. Note that a fat slob doesn’t have to be “fat” or even weigh a certain amount. They just have to be sloppy and crave food. Fat slobs are unique, dedicated people who have an undying love for food and are naturally sloppy about it.
The first step in being a fat slob is to always think with your stomach. For instance, if you see free food, your first instinct should always be to grab as much as possible. That’s because even if you can’t finish it now, you can always save it for later. Be on the look out for food at all times. Utilize your senses. Food can be smelt, touched, and people can be heard chewing. Don’t be afraid to mooch off of other people either. Take whatever ever you can from friends and share your wealth in return later. When in packs, fat slobs generally favor fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and the legendary Checkers. A common method used in these restaurants, is to combine and get one drink cup for every two or three people. Most fast food cups cost nothing to refill so it will save you and your friends valuable money that can then be used to spend on more food. Money ties in with food. Without money you can never guarantee yourself a good hearty meal. Keep an eye out for change at all times. You never know when that two for 2$ deal will have the extra 12 cents tax that you didn’t expect.
Now for some pointers. Eat constantly. When your bored, eat. When your hands are free, eat. When your hungry, feast. The average fat slob spends at least 65% of his weekly paycheck on food so make sure you do the same. When eating remember not to leave food naked. This means use toppings on all of your meals. Barbeque sauce, honey mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup are all superb choices. When choosing your toppings remember not to be shy; mix and match as much as possible. A fat slob is always on the lookout for the latest and greatest topping and sauce combination. Also know that napkins are a complete waste of time and energy. Not to mention it saves trees. Use your pants for wiping.
The next element that makes up a fat slob’s lifestyle are snacks. Snacks are the backbone of a fat slob. They can be the perfect thing to brighten up your day or to turn that frown upside down. Now the key to snacks is to not be afraid to be obnoxious when you eat. Since your usually eating snacks at home or by yourself, it doesn’t matter how sloppy you get. Dig in and get as messy as possible. When it comes to snacking, the consumption of food or thought of, should happen constantly. And again, whatever you do, don’t use napkins. Any household object such as a carpet, couch, bed sheets or your own clothes will do. And when wiping your face, you can use the backs of your hands or feel free to smother your face into any of the objects just mentioned.
Now for dessert. Dessert is a meal on its own. It’s In a league of its own. The reason being is that no matter how full you are, their should always be room for desert. Don’t be afraid to have multiple helpings of desert. Note that since dessert is a meal on its own it needs to be eaten in a large quantity. A cookie would not be considered a dessert but more of a light snack. On the other hand, a box of cookie would be considered a dessert for the typical fat slob. Eat as much as you can and be extra sloppy with dessert, since its likely to be more creamy and more messy.
The key to being a fat slob is mixing and matching. Ham and bacon pizza with extra cheese and barbeque sauce is one of the endless possibilities. Be creative. Follow your stomach. Being a fat slob is not a technique or an art. It’s a creative and dedicated state of mind. Don’t force the sloppiness. It will come naturally.
How to be a Fat Slob
There are many kids in this world who have a special love for food and will go to great lengths to fulfill their appetite. There are also a select few who besides having a love for food, are sloppy in nature. This is how you characterize a fat slob. Note that a fat slob doesn’t have to be “fat” or even weigh a certain amount. They just have to be sloppy and crave food. Fat slobs are unique, dedicated people who have an undying love for food and are naturally sloppy about it.
The first step in being a fat slob is to always think with your stomach. For instance, if you see free food, your first instinct should always be to grab as much as possible. That’s because even if you can’t finish it now, you can always save it for later. Be on the look out for food at all times. Utilize your senses. Food can be smelt, touched, and people can be heard chewing. Don’t be afraid to mooch off of other people either. Take whatever ever you can from friends and share your wealth in return later. When in packs, fat slobs generally favor fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and the legendary Checkers. A common method used in these restaurants, is to combine and get one drink cup for every two or three people. Most fast food cups cost nothing to refill so it will save you and your friends valuable money that can then be used to spend on more food. Money ties in with food. Without money you can never guarantee yourself a good hearty meal. Keep an eye out for change at all times. You never know when that two for 2$ deal will have the extra 12 cents tax that you didn’t expect.
Now for some pointers. Eat constantly. When your bored, eat. When your hands are free, eat. When your hungry, feast. The average fat slob spends at least 65% of his weekly paycheck on food so make sure you do the same. When eating remember not to leave food naked. This means use toppings on all of your meals. Barbeque sauce, honey mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup are all superb choices. When choosing your toppings remember not to be shy; mix and match as much as possible. A fat slob is always on the lookout for the latest and greatest topping and sauce combination. Also know that napkins are a complete waste of time and energy. Not to mention it saves trees. Use your pants for wiping.
The next element that makes up a fat slob’s lifestyle are snacks. Snacks are the backbone of a fat slob. They can be the perfect thing to brighten up your day or to turn that frown upside down. Now the key to snacks is to not be afraid to be obnoxious when you eat. Since your usually eating snacks at home or by yourself, it doesn’t matter how sloppy you get. Dig in and get as messy as possible. When it comes to snacking, the consumption of food or thought of, should happen constantly. And again, whatever you do, don’t use napkins. Any household object such as a carpet, couch, bed sheets or your own clothes will do. And when wiping your face, you can use the backs of your hands or feel free to smother your face into any of the objects just mentioned.
Now for dessert. Dessert is a meal on its own. It’s In a league of its own. The reason being is that no matter how full you are, their should always be room for desert. Don’t be afraid to have multiple helpings of desert. Note that since dessert is a meal on its own it needs to be eaten in a large quantity. A cookie would not be considered a dessert but more of a light snack. On the other hand, a box of cookie would be considered a dessert for the typical fat slob. Eat as much as you can and be extra sloppy with dessert, since its likely to be more creamy and more messy.
The key to being a fat slob is mixing and matching. Ham and bacon pizza with extra cheese and barbeque sauce is one of the endless possibilities. Be creative. Follow your stomach. Being a fat slob is not a technique or an art. It’s a creative and dedicated state of mind. Don’t force the sloppiness. It will come naturally.