(no subject)
Ever get the feeling maybe life is trying to kill you? Ever get the feeling that maybe everything is just going to go bad at once? Maybe, when you're in a bad mood, things will only get worse and worse and worse and worse? Maybe that you're really screwing EVERYTHING up? I'm kinda feelin that way right about now. Let's see whats gone on....
I went off on Andy last night, which had the high potential to screw lots of things up, I apparently pissed G off with that last post, as she assumed it was directed at her or something, though it would appear suspicious, I was getting tired of the crap, it wasn't to you G, it was just bad timing, thats all, if you read this before you see your facebook, check that, I sent you a message there.
Anyway, so right now, I feel like thigns are going craptastic, I feel distanced from all of my closest friends, I feel like I'm slowly loosing them, like, they don't really want to know whats going on in my life... I feel like I don't have as many people to talk to. Its so hard to have only one person to talk to about everything, like really really talk about things. I feel very anti-social recently too, I mean, I haven't done anything horribly interesting recently, and I guess thats really my own damn fault, but still. I hate organizing things, I hate calling people to do things, I hate planning, and I hate trying to set things up. Honestly, its not that I don't want to hang out with people, its just I loathe planning, why? Because then I have to think of things to do, I don't like that, I don't have anything I really LIKE to do, honestly, I have just as good of a time hanging out at starbucks, sitting around with a bunch of people talking, watching a movie, or going out and doing something, its not what we're doing, it who its with. Thats why I don't like planning stuff, I guess I'm insecure about some things there, I don't want people to think I'm boring. I'm more along for the ride type person than a get everyone together and lets do something person. I dunno... I feel like maybe thats why I don't ever do anything new, or fun, or interesting, why I feel like such a hermit.....
I don't feel like I've made many new friends since I've come here, and I feel like I'mw working as hard as posisble to screw everything up in my old friendships, that I'm just going to end up alone and sitting around all freaking day doing nothing for the rest of my life. I don't know what this mood had been the last week, I have not been myself. I don't really want to do anything, I mean, I want to see people and stuff, but at the same time, I don't. (Happy 11:11)...
I guess I don't really mean to not tell people things, its just, I feel like they don't really want to know unless they ask me about it... *shrugs* I don't think I'm makeing sense anymore... I'm tired. I'm going to do something non-productive, like maybe think about studying, or think about cleaning, but I'll probably just end up sitting around on my ass. Stupid world.
I went off on Andy last night, which had the high potential to screw lots of things up, I apparently pissed G off with that last post, as she assumed it was directed at her or something, though it would appear suspicious, I was getting tired of the crap, it wasn't to you G, it was just bad timing, thats all, if you read this before you see your facebook, check that, I sent you a message there.
Anyway, so right now, I feel like thigns are going craptastic, I feel distanced from all of my closest friends, I feel like I'm slowly loosing them, like, they don't really want to know whats going on in my life... I feel like I don't have as many people to talk to. Its so hard to have only one person to talk to about everything, like really really talk about things. I feel very anti-social recently too, I mean, I haven't done anything horribly interesting recently, and I guess thats really my own damn fault, but still. I hate organizing things, I hate calling people to do things, I hate planning, and I hate trying to set things up. Honestly, its not that I don't want to hang out with people, its just I loathe planning, why? Because then I have to think of things to do, I don't like that, I don't have anything I really LIKE to do, honestly, I have just as good of a time hanging out at starbucks, sitting around with a bunch of people talking, watching a movie, or going out and doing something, its not what we're doing, it who its with. Thats why I don't like planning stuff, I guess I'm insecure about some things there, I don't want people to think I'm boring. I'm more along for the ride type person than a get everyone together and lets do something person. I dunno... I feel like maybe thats why I don't ever do anything new, or fun, or interesting, why I feel like such a hermit.....
I don't feel like I've made many new friends since I've come here, and I feel like I'mw working as hard as posisble to screw everything up in my old friendships, that I'm just going to end up alone and sitting around all freaking day doing nothing for the rest of my life. I don't know what this mood had been the last week, I have not been myself. I don't really want to do anything, I mean, I want to see people and stuff, but at the same time, I don't. (Happy 11:11)...
I guess I don't really mean to not tell people things, its just, I feel like they don't really want to know unless they ask me about it... *shrugs* I don't think I'm makeing sense anymore... I'm tired. I'm going to do something non-productive, like maybe think about studying, or think about cleaning, but I'll probably just end up sitting around on my ass. Stupid world.