(no subject)
Hmm, a couple of hours left until christmas, and I dunno, something feels strange this year. Somehow, it doesn't feel like christmas, the excitement isn't there, the tingle that tomorrow is christmas is gone, I can't believe its coming... I just don't feel it, it doesn't feel like christmas... I mean, the tree is on, cinnamon rolls are baking and I can smell em upstairs, and I don't feel like its christmas time... at all... I don't know what it is, I really miss it though, the desire to wake up at ungodly hours, wanting to sneak down and see what I got, I'm not feeling any of it... Its like the childish excitement from christmas is gone.. Is this part of growing up? Do things like this start to loose their joy? Do things you used to be excited about just not mean the same to you anymore? If thats the case, then growing up blows... Why would anyone want to do that... I dunno, I guess I just feel kinda weird, it seems like nobody, even my family, has gotten really into christmas, we didn't even decorate the house or anything, I dunno, somehow it just doesn't feel the same. Maybe its cuz I worked all break instead of doing nothing and spending time with friends, or maybe I'm just starting to grow out of it... I hope its not the latter, I don't want that to happen... but what if it is? I dunno... Honestly, I stopped asking for gifts years ago for christmas, I don't really care what I get for christmas, if anything, and oddly enough, when that went so did alot of my christmas excitement, is that a bad thing? Has christmas lost almost all meaning? Has it really become that corrupted in my mind? I see all these people so excited about what they got, and happy about getting cool nice things, but why is that a big deal? Why is that an important aspect of christmas? WHat happened to christmas, and why am I not excited? Why does it seem like nobody cares about it anymore? I feel kinda lousy now, thinking about christmas, and being christmasy, maybe it will change, maybe, or then again, maybe it won't... Harumph... Why am I suddenly feeling so unhappy? Is it remembering the tingle I used to get, and wanting it back? The absence of excitement that used to be present and its now hitting me hard? Maybe its just I feel like I didn't get into christmas, and I'm regretting it, maybe its a bit of everything... I didn't realize today was christmas eve, like it totally skipped me over, and I dunno, it feels weird....
Oh well... I hope everyone has a merry christmas, merrier than I'm feeling now, have a wonderful christmas, enjoy time with your loved ones, your gifts, and perhaps even briefly recall the meaning behind the gifts, the reason for celebration of christmas, look at Christmas as something beyond gifts, and enjoy it to its fullest.
Merry Christmas everyone
Added later::
Reading this made me smile, and remember being younger... I remember every christmas eve, my dad would sit my brother and I down, and read us this story, before we went to bed, and it makes me smile to remember it
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
Again, Merry Christmas everyone
Oh well... I hope everyone has a merry christmas, merrier than I'm feeling now, have a wonderful christmas, enjoy time with your loved ones, your gifts, and perhaps even briefly recall the meaning behind the gifts, the reason for celebration of christmas, look at Christmas as something beyond gifts, and enjoy it to its fullest.
Merry Christmas everyone
Added later::
Reading this made me smile, and remember being younger... I remember every christmas eve, my dad would sit my brother and I down, and read us this story, before we went to bed, and it makes me smile to remember it
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
Again, Merry Christmas everyone