Aug 07, 2007 23:23
apart. a part. ment. i hate those games, breaking down the words and feeling out the deconstruction. soon we'll deconstruct this place and shuffle the pieces to a home i'll never get to know.
i physically feel the shift coming, a mix of apprehension and adrenaline. soon it'll be like standing in a cold shower, unable to remember what the warm, slick tackiness of old sweat feels like. it'll be so cold. and all my clothes will remind me of him and how alone i am. i'll stand wet in front of my closet staring at dresses made for another life, hands reflexively clutching the towel that conceals me from no one.
the emptiness of that single scares me so much. i'll put up curtains and posters and photos and maybe the hum of all that vibrating color will keep out the silence. that's all decorating is, keeping out the glaciers of white walls.