A Word About Sneakers
I know it's wrong. I know it's just advertising and my silly associations. But I would never wear Sketchers. Ever. No matter how cool the shoes might look. Never Sketchers. NEVER.
I'm a Keds girl. Simple, fun, basic, but spunky. Friendly and a little vain. A little charmed with the self-image. Like most shoes.
Nike takes itself too seriously. Swishing bands of mesh and rubber, I wouldn't know what to do with all that. I mean, I wear them if my mom gets a free pair, but come on! How can there be that much science in it? Nikes are tough, vain and hard-hearted. Pretending to be focused on the goal, but we all know they're glancing at their own reflections in every window they jog past.
And I'm too late to get on the All-Stars bandwagon. Maybe if I'd started before the middle-aged moms I baby-sit for were wearing them. Maybe if mine were already 10 years old and I'd gone from concert to concert, trailing little threads as they wore out. As it is, I'd be trying too hard. They say 'yeah, whatever. i'm cool.' And they try to pretend they're nonchalant about it. Oh, but they care. They love the newfound popularity. They told themselves they'd chosen to reject the popular sneaks, but now that they're hot again they just sit there, lapping up the praise. 'oh, yeah. i mean, whatever. we were always cool. you just figured this out again?'
And then there are Sketchers. The bottom of the shoe totem pole if you ask me. Trashy, hyperly self-conscious, desperate to be cool and failing miserably. They are the Go-gurt of the shoe world. The AOL. The spasming ad agency trying to capture the ignorant. Trying so hard to be AWESOME they end up with holyfuckcreepy manikins. And that awful ad with Cristina Aguilera sucking on things. Blech.
Reeboks, Adidas, ok. I mean, whatever. I remember the kids in high school who wore them, and they're just barely alright. Just a little too much for me. A little too bold. Too styled. Too 'I'm so fun and hip and I'm not even trying! Wohoo! I'm cooler than you, but I'd never say that outright because I'm also a better person than you. Let's jump in our leggings and skirts!'
And New Balance. Well, Alan wears them, and they're alright. Good for him, but too chunky for me. Too much body. Not bright and cheery. They just plod along. Basic and unimposing, but also lacking that light feeling of a bounce in the step.
I hope this begins to explain why I wear Keds.
Yay for meaningless brand identity!
I'm a Keds girl. Simple, fun, basic, but spunky. Friendly and a little vain. A little charmed with the self-image. Like most shoes.
Nike takes itself too seriously. Swishing bands of mesh and rubber, I wouldn't know what to do with all that. I mean, I wear them if my mom gets a free pair, but come on! How can there be that much science in it? Nikes are tough, vain and hard-hearted. Pretending to be focused on the goal, but we all know they're glancing at their own reflections in every window they jog past.
And I'm too late to get on the All-Stars bandwagon. Maybe if I'd started before the middle-aged moms I baby-sit for were wearing them. Maybe if mine were already 10 years old and I'd gone from concert to concert, trailing little threads as they wore out. As it is, I'd be trying too hard. They say 'yeah, whatever. i'm cool.' And they try to pretend they're nonchalant about it. Oh, but they care. They love the newfound popularity. They told themselves they'd chosen to reject the popular sneaks, but now that they're hot again they just sit there, lapping up the praise. 'oh, yeah. i mean, whatever. we were always cool. you just figured this out again?'
And then there are Sketchers. The bottom of the shoe totem pole if you ask me. Trashy, hyperly self-conscious, desperate to be cool and failing miserably. They are the Go-gurt of the shoe world. The AOL. The spasming ad agency trying to capture the ignorant. Trying so hard to be AWESOME they end up with holyfuckcreepy manikins. And that awful ad with Cristina Aguilera sucking on things. Blech.
Reeboks, Adidas, ok. I mean, whatever. I remember the kids in high school who wore them, and they're just barely alright. Just a little too much for me. A little too bold. Too styled. Too 'I'm so fun and hip and I'm not even trying! Wohoo! I'm cooler than you, but I'd never say that outright because I'm also a better person than you. Let's jump in our leggings and skirts!'
And New Balance. Well, Alan wears them, and they're alright. Good for him, but too chunky for me. Too much body. Not bright and cheery. They just plod along. Basic and unimposing, but also lacking that light feeling of a bounce in the step.
I hope this begins to explain why I wear Keds.
Yay for meaningless brand identity!