Sudden Death (Academic Probation)
Miss Cross comes back into the bedroom.
MAX
So why'd you dump Blume?
Miss Cross stops. Pause.
MISS CROSS
That's none of your business.
MAX
I know it's not. But I just got hit by a car and I'm a little confused right now. I mean. I thought you dumped me for Blume. Then I hear -
MISS CROSS
I never dumped you because we were never going out.
MAX
But it doesn't make any sense. I -
MISS CROSS
Well, I am confused, too. But why don't we just deal with getting you -
MAX
Because it would help me if you would talk to me for a minute. And tell me what happened.
Silence.
MISS CROSS
OK.
(pause)
Well. A. He's a married man.
B. He hates himself.
And C, he smashed your bicycle, didn't he?
MAX
(pause)
My previous bicycle. Yes.
MISS CROSS
Well, what kind of person does something like that?
MAX
I don't know.
(pause)
War does funny things to men.
Silence. Miss Cross sits down in a rocking chair beside the bed. She opens the bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
MAX
He thinks you dumped him because of Edward Appleby.
MISS CROSS
What does that mean?
MAX
I don't know. I mean. You live in this room.
Max looks around the room. There are trophies and ribbons, a chemistry set, a poster from the Olympics, three large fish tanks, a picture of Jacques Cousteau, and some model planes in dogfights hanging from the ceiling.
MAX
With all his stuff. It's kind of --
MISS CROSS
(pause)
I was married to him.
MAX
I know you were.
Silence.
MISS CROSS
Although I will say Edward has more spark and character and imagination in one fingernail than Herman Blume has in his entire body.
MAX
One dead fingernail.
Miss Cross fixes Max with a hard stare.
MISS CROSS
Right. One dead fingernail.
Silence.