Self discovery
To clarify my previous post, I really lost myself in a deep way over the past two years after moving out to Stanford. The identity that was Henri was absorbed into the identity of Henri+Ashley. After we split up, I no longer knew who I was. Just as we can never step into the same river twice, we can never go backwards to a previous version of ourself, only forwards. So, my journey these past 8 months has been to rediscover myself. In doing so, I am seeking to keep an open mind, and to maintain an attitude of experimentation and adventure, and especially to let go of those ways in which I have limited myself in the past through an overly narrow self-identity. So, I am exploring a range of experiences to see how I react to these experiences and how they feel. But, I have no attachment to any of them. Rather than simply reconstructing a new identity of who I think I should be, or who I think that I want to be, I seek not to fall into the habit of constructing any concept of an identity for myself. In this way, I hope to learn to live as my true self only, unmasked, a naked hermit crab without a shell.
I think that this process of self-discovery after a traumatic separation is common enough. This is essentially what the book Eat, Pray, Love is about, and the phenomenal popularity of that book suggests that many, many people empathize with Liz Gilbert's journey of self-discovery after her divorce.After an intense ending, rather than feeling victimized, either by a person or by a situation, we can choose to take the ending as an opportunity for ridding ourselves of those aspects of ourself that no longer serve us, and of starting a new beginning. After a loss, we can regenerate, not by going backwards, but by moving forwards into the future that we create for ourselves.
I think that this process of self-discovery after a traumatic separation is common enough. This is essentially what the book Eat, Pray, Love is about, and the phenomenal popularity of that book suggests that many, many people empathize with Liz Gilbert's journey of self-discovery after her divorce.After an intense ending, rather than feeling victimized, either by a person or by a situation, we can choose to take the ending as an opportunity for ridding ourselves of those aspects of ourself that no longer serve us, and of starting a new beginning. After a loss, we can regenerate, not by going backwards, but by moving forwards into the future that we create for ourselves.