Draining resources.
So, here we go...
The last time I took this silly journal seriously was probably around the time when I was 15 trying to woo a certain 22 year old. Then at that point, I used this silly thing to secretly communicate with my friends.
I think that now I'm at a pretty good distance where the people who are reading this probably have no clue what I'm talking about, or have migrated to stalker-like facebook.I figure, I might as well use this to my advantage.
Quick update: I'm finally 21. I have to check back to entries from 2002 when all I wished in the world was to be where I am now. Funny. I'm performing with the Boston Pops for the Bernstein Tribute. I'm jobless, but I did get cast in Assassins at Company One here in Boston (ensemble, but who cares? how fun! loves me some sondheim!)
I remember a long time ago (Tori, if you're reading this, I hope you'll laugh) Heather told me that I needed to beef up. I specifically remember this advice because it was the only golden advice that I did not listen to. I'm kicking myself in that ass for that now. For the past three years, I've told myself that my slim figure made me look young, which is why I'm tailor made for all those 'highschool musical' type shows. Maybe I was just excusing my laziness. The point is: I am extremely jealous of these awful boys here in Boston, who get cast in role, after role, by skeezy gay men, because they look great without a shirt. I have to give myself some credit...I do look great without a shirt...but they've got at least 20 pounds over me.
So, what have I been doing about it? If you can't beat 'em...join 'em.
I've been on this awful diet where I have to consume ridiculous amounts of calories and going to the gym like its my job. I've refrained from smoking weed, and drinking...my two vices...and I've been losing friends because of it. For a while, I was kinda pissed...but as I'm writing this, they probably weren't that great of friends anyway.
Last night, as I sat in the dressing room before the Pops, I uttered to myself that I was going crazy. For the past sememster I've dug myself so far into my head, I turn to internet blogging to help me out.
I feel as though the world is against me. Everything is a conspiracy. Sometimes I wonder if my life is the Truman Show:
Taylor is driving me up a wall. I don't want to hear about his sexual escapades with these girls anymore. It's tiring, and sad. To see my roommate day in and day out talk about the same shit/videogames is toxic. I'm slowly detaching myself from my so called brother. Luckily, our moments have a time limit since he moves to FL in august. Still, I don't want to abandon him...I'm the only friend he has.
I'm not so sure if I'll actually stick to updating...but it's nice to vent sometimes.
Watch Megan Mullaly on youtube in H2$. Her bevel makes me giddy.
The last time I took this silly journal seriously was probably around the time when I was 15 trying to woo a certain 22 year old. Then at that point, I used this silly thing to secretly communicate with my friends.
I think that now I'm at a pretty good distance where the people who are reading this probably have no clue what I'm talking about, or have migrated to stalker-like facebook.I figure, I might as well use this to my advantage.
Quick update: I'm finally 21. I have to check back to entries from 2002 when all I wished in the world was to be where I am now. Funny. I'm performing with the Boston Pops for the Bernstein Tribute. I'm jobless, but I did get cast in Assassins at Company One here in Boston (ensemble, but who cares? how fun! loves me some sondheim!)
I remember a long time ago (Tori, if you're reading this, I hope you'll laugh) Heather told me that I needed to beef up. I specifically remember this advice because it was the only golden advice that I did not listen to. I'm kicking myself in that ass for that now. For the past three years, I've told myself that my slim figure made me look young, which is why I'm tailor made for all those 'highschool musical' type shows. Maybe I was just excusing my laziness. The point is: I am extremely jealous of these awful boys here in Boston, who get cast in role, after role, by skeezy gay men, because they look great without a shirt. I have to give myself some credit...I do look great without a shirt...but they've got at least 20 pounds over me.
So, what have I been doing about it? If you can't beat 'em...join 'em.
I've been on this awful diet where I have to consume ridiculous amounts of calories and going to the gym like its my job. I've refrained from smoking weed, and drinking...my two vices...and I've been losing friends because of it. For a while, I was kinda pissed...but as I'm writing this, they probably weren't that great of friends anyway.
Last night, as I sat in the dressing room before the Pops, I uttered to myself that I was going crazy. For the past sememster I've dug myself so far into my head, I turn to internet blogging to help me out.
I feel as though the world is against me. Everything is a conspiracy. Sometimes I wonder if my life is the Truman Show:
Taylor is driving me up a wall. I don't want to hear about his sexual escapades with these girls anymore. It's tiring, and sad. To see my roommate day in and day out talk about the same shit/videogames is toxic. I'm slowly detaching myself from my so called brother. Luckily, our moments have a time limit since he moves to FL in august. Still, I don't want to abandon him...I'm the only friend he has.
I'm not so sure if I'll actually stick to updating...but it's nice to vent sometimes.
Watch Megan Mullaly on youtube in H2$. Her bevel makes me giddy.