venting.

[dany14k]

self awareness is a trait that i've discoverd over the past few months. i've concluded:

i'm obsessive. i'm absolutely insane. i obsess over anything and everything. and i can't understand why i do it. or why i think this way. and i know that i'll obsess over things before i even obsess over them.

so i'm in florida. and i met this guy over thanksgiving. and i told him (in a nutshell) "i'm new, i don't really know anyone yet, and i dont want to hook up with you because then things will get awkward." so i didnt. back to boston.
christmas break...we hooked up a few days ago. BAM. i'm obsessed. i became jealous and needy (which we all know is completely unattractive). i just want to be so perfect for him, and i'm not. i'm not his type. i'm no one's type really. i'm just feeling very lost because i can't find my fit. i'm not talking about some sort of long term relationship...i just want to be appreciated.

I think i like the idea of a significant other, which is why i thrust that upon everyone i meet.

i'm trying too hard.

why can't i just be simple minded?