I'll always love you Toasty
Toasty left this earth 7 a.m exactly this morning, snuggled in my arms. He had gotten sick 2 days ago with a bad cold, and I thought it was getting better until yesterday. He was very sick, wheezing, not able to stand up. I assumed his paw might be broken and tried to reach my vet, but they weren't open.
I woke up at 4a.m to Toasty thumping around on the floor, trying to get up. I quickly shot up and tried to help him, grabbing him before he could hurt himself further. He started to scream. That is a noise I never, ever, hear again. He was pretty traumatized when I placed him in his cage, and couldn't stand up, so I sat by watching his condition closely.
At about 5 he could sit up at least, and had a steady breathing pattern. I thought it was getting better. About an hour later though I woke up to him thrasing around, wet from all of the water in his bowl and completely helpless on his stomach, trying to get his weak head above the ground so he could breathe. I had no idea what to do, I took him in my arms, I tried to get him to stand. I stood close to him for an hour, hoping he'd catch his breath and be alright.
Finally, I took him and laid down with him on my bed. He still couldn't stand up and was laying on my belly. For a few minutes I just stared at him and cried, until I heard the wheezing stop, and a rumbling in his stomach sound. I saw he was dead and broke down in tears, calling Diane. She came into my room a few seconds later and helped me up. He had peed on me but I was focused on him still. Moving his limp body to a blanket on the floor was heartbreaking, his eyes were still open and I was shaking.
I left for work a half hour later. I certainly wasn't ready to work but I couldn't stay in my house today, and see him on the ground covered in that white down blanket. Everyone at work was very supportive of me though, they helped me through the day.
Writing this now i'm still crying, he's still in the blanket. My mother came over to help me move him to a box so we could bury him. She took him out and he was stiff, and couldn't fit in the box. We're waiting for my uncle to come so that we can get a bigger box and we can bury him in my Aunt's backyard.
I'm still not ready to let go. Toasty was everything to me. I miss his cautious friendly ways, how he was so excited to get pellets, how he ate the map off my wall.
He died the day before my birthday, and on the first day of winter. He was with me for 3 years, 3 wonderful years. His birthday on the 17th of november was just celebrated. I still remember getting him that day in 2003, how he was scared to be in the car and was nervous to meet me. And how we got him surgery for his teeth, and he was dazed under the anesthesia.
He was a little trooper, tough to the end. It hurts me so much how much pain he had to be in. He had survived so much in his little life, malcosis, an eye absess, the death of a loved one(his previous rabbit companion) and then to have these last agonizing hours. Diane said something to me though. She said he really must have trusted me to die in my arms. I'm glad that he's not in pain anymore, that he was with me when he died. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else but warm and on my lap.
I'm going to miss him so much. I love you Toasty.
I woke up at 4a.m to Toasty thumping around on the floor, trying to get up. I quickly shot up and tried to help him, grabbing him before he could hurt himself further. He started to scream. That is a noise I never, ever, hear again. He was pretty traumatized when I placed him in his cage, and couldn't stand up, so I sat by watching his condition closely.
At about 5 he could sit up at least, and had a steady breathing pattern. I thought it was getting better. About an hour later though I woke up to him thrasing around, wet from all of the water in his bowl and completely helpless on his stomach, trying to get his weak head above the ground so he could breathe. I had no idea what to do, I took him in my arms, I tried to get him to stand. I stood close to him for an hour, hoping he'd catch his breath and be alright.
Finally, I took him and laid down with him on my bed. He still couldn't stand up and was laying on my belly. For a few minutes I just stared at him and cried, until I heard the wheezing stop, and a rumbling in his stomach sound. I saw he was dead and broke down in tears, calling Diane. She came into my room a few seconds later and helped me up. He had peed on me but I was focused on him still. Moving his limp body to a blanket on the floor was heartbreaking, his eyes were still open and I was shaking.
I left for work a half hour later. I certainly wasn't ready to work but I couldn't stay in my house today, and see him on the ground covered in that white down blanket. Everyone at work was very supportive of me though, they helped me through the day.
Writing this now i'm still crying, he's still in the blanket. My mother came over to help me move him to a box so we could bury him. She took him out and he was stiff, and couldn't fit in the box. We're waiting for my uncle to come so that we can get a bigger box and we can bury him in my Aunt's backyard.
I'm still not ready to let go. Toasty was everything to me. I miss his cautious friendly ways, how he was so excited to get pellets, how he ate the map off my wall.
He died the day before my birthday, and on the first day of winter. He was with me for 3 years, 3 wonderful years. His birthday on the 17th of november was just celebrated. I still remember getting him that day in 2003, how he was scared to be in the car and was nervous to meet me. And how we got him surgery for his teeth, and he was dazed under the anesthesia.
He was a little trooper, tough to the end. It hurts me so much how much pain he had to be in. He had survived so much in his little life, malcosis, an eye absess, the death of a loved one(his previous rabbit companion) and then to have these last agonizing hours. Diane said something to me though. She said he really must have trusted me to die in my arms. I'm glad that he's not in pain anymore, that he was with me when he died. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else but warm and on my lap.
I'm going to miss him so much. I love you Toasty.