so confused
have u ever been in a situation that you both hate and love at the same time. well that basically sums up how i feel at the moment, i love and hate so many things right now about my current life. for instance i love it here in CA, just love it and love being with my grandparents. yet i hate not really having anything to do, no real friends to hang out with. i miss my friends and hanging out. i miss having something to do outside of playing on my computer and sleeping. i miss having a life. dont get me wrong i love it here, but since i wont be here long enough i cant really go out and establish a life, but i dont want to leave either. then there are other things, things which i am not fully sure about, yet will not list here bc they are private and do not wish to really talk about out loud (at least until i figure out exactly how i feel). i miss being able to just vent things with my friends (i would vent them to you Ericka but some deal with you and until i fully understand everything about them I do not want to talk about them just yet with you). i used to be able to just call up brad hang out with him and tell him whats on my mind. i used to be able to do that with sadie before college, but shes really busy nowadays. i need to call her to make sure she is getting my emails, cause i have not recieved a response from her, and she said she was going to call me back (that was several weeks ago too, damn im a horrible friend, what if something is wrong, what if something happened {i have reasons to believe this to be possible that i am not at liberty to say}). im going to call her tomorrow (i would have done it sooner but i dont get free long distance here, so ive been emailing her). God i hope she is ok. i need to talk to brad, damn you brad for being so busy with college (ok not really, i do envy you somewhat, but not enough to really want to be in ur shoes just yet, lol). brad is so busy lately with college he doesnt really even have much time for games any more. there are just so many things going through my head right now, i dont want to think about them yet know i need to think about them. i need to plan for the possible outcomes of some of the thoughts. i need to prepare myself for the worst if it is to come. i need to do a lot of shit and i dont really want to do it either. i need to talk about a lot of things, and really wish i didnt have the heart that i have at times so i could just say it without worrying about how others would feel. i could care less about those i dont know but those i do know i do care about. i dont like to hurt them, so i try not too.
well in brighter news, i learned 4 more line dances today (two of them were really just reviews of what i learned at the place, but hadnt really commited to memory yet, till now that is). well outside of that nmh. later days, Joe
P.s. sorry about not getting the update to here yesterday or whenever i did it, lj fault not my fault, it wouldnt let me update at all, ill post it under here though
Well saw In Her Shoes saturday night. It was a good romance comedy. I have not done much outside of practice some new line dances and been busy downloading family guy episodes. I did some yard work over at a friends of the family's house saturday. been busy playing Guild Wars. Well that is all, seriously, Later Days, Joe
well in brighter news, i learned 4 more line dances today (two of them were really just reviews of what i learned at the place, but hadnt really commited to memory yet, till now that is). well outside of that nmh. later days, Joe
P.s. sorry about not getting the update to here yesterday or whenever i did it, lj fault not my fault, it wouldnt let me update at all, ill post it under here though
Well saw In Her Shoes saturday night. It was a good romance comedy. I have not done much outside of practice some new line dances and been busy downloading family guy episodes. I did some yard work over at a friends of the family's house saturday. been busy playing Guild Wars. Well that is all, seriously, Later Days, Joe