I don't want to moan bitch and complain.....
....but I shall.
Wow. Life really has it in for me I guess. UC Irvine fucked up my financial aid due to THEIR clerical error that they lovingly blamed me for (of course!) and now I will NOT recieve full financial aid and I also probably won't get it in time for my study abroad program in England. I DID NOT work as hard as I did and get into a good school in England to withdrawl at the last minute. I get kicked in the face repeadedly by life and as soon as I straighten my collar and regain my balance, I take the boot to the head once more. It will never end.
What did I do to deserve such a fucking hard life? I know how many more people have such a harder time and I really do hate bitching about my problems, but it seems as though nothing will ever work out for me. Every year I have to struggle in order to get money for school and then make it through the school year. I just wish things would come easily to me for once...I'm a nice person, why do I get shit on repeadedly. Too bad I am not into schitza.
The only hope I have is to find someone (which I doubt) to take out a personal loan from a bank and let that pay for my first semester at Birmingham. I wish my frusteration, hatred, and emotional state could be better conveyed through this lame post. Everyone always says, "one day, things will work out", or "you are going through all this now because you will have an amazing payoff when you are older" but I do not understand what they mean by that. It will always remain the same. I will go through all this bullshit every year of college only to live in a shit hole apartment in Los Angeles writing sucky screenplays and get no where in life all the while working at a restaurant serving pretentious hollywood wives who get their kicks out of disturbingly caressing their un-monolo'd foot upon my inner thigh. Well, that won't bother me much, thank God I'm gay.
I hope....I PRAY that things work out....I have never wanted nothing more in the world than to study film in England..........I don't want to think about it. I say that as if by not bringing forth the thoughts in my mind will stifle time and allow me more of a chance to get this retarded loan.
Oh! The funniest thing of all is that my IDIOT RETARD mom didn't fill her taxes out at all this year! She says she didn't do it because she didn't have money to do it with, but ironically enough, her not completing it causes me not to have money for the WHOLE YEAR OF SCHOOL YOU FUCK-TARD! This is going right up there with her killing my cat in terms of me never forgiving her.
I do not want to forgo England.
I do not want to withdrawl from UCI for a year.
I do not want all my hard work to go to waste.
I do not want to stay in Tulare.
I do not want to feel, and be percieved as, a failure.
I will not stand for failure. I would rather string myself up to a tree and feel my life escape me than stay in Tulare and fail.
Failure is a word I can't stand.
Wow. Life really has it in for me I guess. UC Irvine fucked up my financial aid due to THEIR clerical error that they lovingly blamed me for (of course!) and now I will NOT recieve full financial aid and I also probably won't get it in time for my study abroad program in England. I DID NOT work as hard as I did and get into a good school in England to withdrawl at the last minute. I get kicked in the face repeadedly by life and as soon as I straighten my collar and regain my balance, I take the boot to the head once more. It will never end.
What did I do to deserve such a fucking hard life? I know how many more people have such a harder time and I really do hate bitching about my problems, but it seems as though nothing will ever work out for me. Every year I have to struggle in order to get money for school and then make it through the school year. I just wish things would come easily to me for once...I'm a nice person, why do I get shit on repeadedly. Too bad I am not into schitza.
The only hope I have is to find someone (which I doubt) to take out a personal loan from a bank and let that pay for my first semester at Birmingham. I wish my frusteration, hatred, and emotional state could be better conveyed through this lame post. Everyone always says, "one day, things will work out", or "you are going through all this now because you will have an amazing payoff when you are older" but I do not understand what they mean by that. It will always remain the same. I will go through all this bullshit every year of college only to live in a shit hole apartment in Los Angeles writing sucky screenplays and get no where in life all the while working at a restaurant serving pretentious hollywood wives who get their kicks out of disturbingly caressing their un-monolo'd foot upon my inner thigh. Well, that won't bother me much, thank God I'm gay.
I hope....I PRAY that things work out....I have never wanted nothing more in the world than to study film in England..........I don't want to think about it. I say that as if by not bringing forth the thoughts in my mind will stifle time and allow me more of a chance to get this retarded loan.
Oh! The funniest thing of all is that my IDIOT RETARD mom didn't fill her taxes out at all this year! She says she didn't do it because she didn't have money to do it with, but ironically enough, her not completing it causes me not to have money for the WHOLE YEAR OF SCHOOL YOU FUCK-TARD! This is going right up there with her killing my cat in terms of me never forgiving her.
I do not want to forgo England.
I do not want to withdrawl from UCI for a year.
I do not want all my hard work to go to waste.
I do not want to stay in Tulare.
I do not want to feel, and be percieved as, a failure.
I will not stand for failure. I would rather string myself up to a tree and feel my life escape me than stay in Tulare and fail.
Failure is a word I can't stand.