TVD 4x23: Mystic Falls, the New Switzerland of Valuables Storage
So that's it, guys. That's season 4. We're done. Isn't that strange? It's been sort of a crazy year. Part of me wants to write a full-scale, absurdly long recap, for old time's sake. But I have a crazy few days ahead of me, and I can't really afford to spend 6 hours (lol, 6 hours. More like 10.) analyzing every small detail. So my abbreviated lolcap style will have to do, friends. If I can even get my thoughts in order, which I'm realizing now, I totally can't. I will most certainly forget half the things I wanted to say (I already have, let's be real). But let's press on anyway.
OK WHAT FIRST. Ummmm. Shall we try to go vaguely in order?
~LOL FOREVER at Kol being the ringleader of the Disgruntled Dead's. His speech was basically the reverse of The Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast. "We are beasts, we've got fangs, razor sharp ones. We won't rest til they're good and deceased!" They being, of course, Team Mystic Falls.
~Stefan being useless during the apocalypse was 0% surprising. Tbh, Stefan's recent proactive-ness has been weird.
~I am still meh on Lexi, but who isn't nowadays. Still, she didn't make me want to set her on fire in this ep, so that's a considerable improvement to, well, always.
~Cute Gilbert-Saltzman family reunion scene meant the return of the inappropriate Elena/Alaric chemistry. Did anyone else notice this? Why is this the one ship I am uncomfortable shipping?
~I always enjoy an episode in which Damon is mortally wounded within the first 15 minutes. Let the good times roll.
~Matt/Rebekah. I just. Really? Also, what is the freaking point of setting Matt up on a trigger thing. Like, why. What does that even do. WHY DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN. Rebekah isn't even staying on this show! I honestly can't even. I'm done.
~Ok, let's discuss the sire bond, and get the goddamn thing over with, and be done with it. This was not a resolution. It was not even close to a resolution. It leaves me literally shaking my head in confusion at all those comments from Julie Plec about how viewers will finally understand the deal with the sire bond and get why the writers did what they did. Literally, nothing was clarified. Elena isn't sired anymore. Well, she hasn't been for ages. SHE NEVER FUCKING WAS, really, but no one seems to want to address that. If Elena being able to say no to Damon is the proof we needed that the sire bond isn't active, well, it was never active in the first place. This is something we all knew, though. I honestly don't really know what the writers thought they were doing. Do they actually think any of this was convincing? I know we're supposed to take the sire bond as fact, I get that. But the logic of it has never made sense, and it still doesn't. I just can't with it anymore.
Basically, this. I've known for a while now that the writers intended for the sire bond to be real. As effective as my denial was as a coping mechanism, I always knew deep down that this is how it would go. I never really entertained the idea that it would end up being THIS pointless, but still. The sire bond was a mistake. A huge, staggering, tragic, horrifying mistake. It will never NOT be a mistake. There will never, never be a moment in this show that will make the existence of the sire bond worth it. It has, unfortunately, irrevocably damaged my opinion of this show. It took the one narrative I had absolute, utter faith in, and trashed it, betrayed it, completely compromised it for a contrived shipper failsafe. That will never be ok.
But I'm done. I have to be. I'm never going to be able to quit this show. Even with my emotional investment at a fraction of what it was, I am still in this show til the bitter end. It's too much a part of me now. And I will never be able to handle it if I let the sire bond be a thing. I KNOW I'm supposed to be ok with it, to consider the D/E 'resolution' adequate payment for my suffering. I don't. I don't even vaguely, and I could write essays on why. But I just need to move on. I say this now, but you guys know me better than that, and I am sure there are many rants to come on this subject, but for now? That's it. I am declaring the sire bond nonexistent. The show clearly believes we should be over it. So, fine. For all intents and purposes, the sire bond didn't happen. I am probably violating a cardinal rule of fandom in just blatantly ignoring canon, but that's what I have to do, so I'm doing it. I want to be able to watch this show and actually enjoy it. I want to be able to find some shipper glee in my OTP finally getting together. I want to not be so fucking angry all the time, really. So I'm tabula rasa-ing myself. No more sire bond. Didn't happen. The end.
Come at me, I guess?
~After that manifesto, I can contextualize. The way the show 'dealt with' the sire bond was so hilariously inadequate that I actually feel sort of justified in straight up ignoring that it ever happened. Clearly, the writers don't think it has any real import. Which is baffling, but whatever. If they want to just toss out this huge season conflict so easily, fine. I'll do the same.
~Elena not wanting the cure is aces. I side-eye her even saying she wanted it. Elena is a great vampire. She needs to stop pretending she isn't. Vampire Elena forever. OH MY GOD GUYS IT JUST REALLY SUNK IN THAT WE REALLY GET VAMPIRE ELENA FOREVER OMG GLORIOUS DAY.
~This entire episode should have just been entitled "Eavesdropping: Fun for the Whole Undead Family." Literally, every single scene, there was a whole group of people listening in from the other room. It was hilarious. Slash really saved time. No one had to update anyone, ever. ALREADY HEARD EVERYTHING, VAMPIRE HEARING, AMIRIGHT?
~Why is this show even trying to drag S/E on, though. Even Stefan doesn't look that into it. His line about Elena being the love of his life? Looked more learned by rote than felt. Though that's true to character, honestly. This show will do itself a great service by actually letting Stefan move on. It's time. It's long past time, really. And I would actually be excited to see what Stefan could be without his infatuation with Elena. I mean REALLY without it, not pretending or posturing or anything. Wouldn't it be something to get to see Stefan grow, though.
~Ok, but did anyone else find this hilarious? "What am I supposed to to, tell her it's her choice? Cause that worked out so well." Um, YES, STEFAN. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, BECAUSE IT IS HER CHOICE, YOU FUCKTARD. SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A THING THAT HE SAID, ALL EXASPERATED-LIKE. I CAN'T. I mean, it honestly made me lol more than rage, but this is so indicative of Stefan. That he's this upfront about the fact that giving her a choice was always his 'move' rather than his belief, and that he's so deluded that he doesn't even realize how fucked up it all sounds. What are you, Stefan Salvatore. I need a flow chart.
~In the intentionally hilarious category, though, this was legit comedy: "I can live in a yurt." I ENJOYED THAT LINE DELIVERY SO HARD, THO. Paul Wesley, you can stay.
~I will never not love how much Damon doesn't care about his own impending demise. I really fucking love Damon, you guys.
~"Take off your shirt." "Elena, there are children present." The Damon Salvatore Comedy Tour, on tour, Summer 2013.
~AND THEN HE LITERALLY THROWS THE CURE AT A HUNTER TO KEEP THE GILBERTS FROM SAVING HIS LIFE. I CAN'T. DELIGHTED.
~The question of who would take the cure was one of those that I kept reevaluating over the episode (over the last few weeks, tbh). For a while, I was convinced it would be Damon. But I friend of mine and I were talking the other day, and she was saying that the internet was pretty united on the idea that Damon would be getting cure-ified. And that got me thinking that TVD never does anything that obvious. And when Jeremy came up with the cure plan, I was sure that it was a red herring. A red herring I appreciate, don't get me wrong. I have to think that the writers must have known that Damon would be a popular theory. This was a nice bait and switch, as it were. But once I knew that Damon would be the fakeout, I figured it had to be Katherine. She was the only one with a similar storyline potential - the vampire who got cured had to not want to be cured. Otherwise, why bother. And Katherine was pretty much the only other vampire who had no desire to be human. Klaus could have been a contender (he could have been SOMEBODY - sorry, it's very late), but the spinoff spoiled that. So yep, Katherine. Why else would she still be around, honestly. And with all the emphasis on ULTIMATE immortality, of course she'd end up properly mortal. Sometimes this show is very crafty. And sometimes it's much less sneaky that it thinks it is.
~Damon/physics = new OTP. #insert crass friction joke here
~I love how Stefan was all, "I will go to New Orleans myself to beg Klaus to save my brother..." and then he just went to graduation instead. Nice one, Stefan.
~I am about the break the First Rule of TVD and ask the forbidden question: SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME THIS DAMN TIMELINE. How long has this all been going on? Because it didn't seem like Elena was switched off for that long, and yet somehow she didn't send in her college apps because she was switched off? Does she even know how college apps work? She would have had to have sent them in MONTHS ago. Color me confused. Whatever, who cares, school is irrelevant to this show.
~Ughhh, Bonnie during that pre-graduation scene. HOW SO FLAWLESS, LADY. This is one of those things I will need next season to conclude upon. Everything about Bonnie in this ep was perfect. But I cannot support her actually being gone. Think very seriously about what you're doing, show.
~Alright, this scene was cute in its way, but was no one else a little side-eye-y at Stefan being One Of the Gang Yeah! and no one even noticing that 'all of us are here!' didn't actually include Tyler? Idk, man. I get the sentiment, but I couldn't quite shut off the Logic Baton.
~It was nice of Mystic Falls High to bus in kids from nearby towns to fill out the graduation ceremony.
~Ngl, I appreciated that the graduation ceremony was alphabetical and vaguely realistic. I always get annoyed by the standard high school show practice of having all the main characters in a row at graduation for no discernible reason but convenience.
~Bonnie vs. Kol was a delight. All the Bonnie, basically.
~Damon's fake Scottish accent was adorable. Carry on, my boy.
~What is wrong with me that I so enjoy watching Damon get shot repeatedly. Should I worry about this.
~Omg, guys, I didn't even notice how Elena nodded when Alaric suggested force-feeding Damon the cure the first time around. UGHHH MY SHIP LOVE THESE KIDS. And not in a 'she can't watch him die' way. In a 'she will do whatever is necessary to keep him alive even though she fucking hates it when he does the same thing to her because they are the same goddamn person and their will is the only will that matters.' Sometimes, despite everything, my OTP is still flaw-free.
~GUYS. KLAUS BEHEADING THAT WITCH LADY WITH A MORTARBOARD. AND THE STRAIGHT UP FUCKING HILARIOUS SHOT OF THE DECAPITATED BODY THAT FOLLOWED. I LITERALLY CAN'T. DYING. DYING OF LOLZ.
~I don't know that I've enjoyed Klaus this much this entire season. Klaus was actually a delight in this episode. In many ways, this episode was a hearkening back to happier times.
~Love Elena's white dress. I love white dresses, but all the ones I find are see-through, and that won't do. Anyone have any tips?
~ELENA CHECKS ON DAMON AND THEN SLAPS HIM AND THAT'S IT THAT'S LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SCENE. EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR, TBH.
~And everyone is listening in downstairs. Seriously, guys, so much of this episode was comedy.
~Guys, I can't with this Stefan/Elena scene. Not once did I worry that the show was going to go in a romantic direction with them in this ep. It was pretty obvious that this season was going to end D/E. But I literally cannot with Elena fucking thanking Stefan. I mean, we knew it was going to happen. But Stefan was legit the root of all evil in the first half of the season. And him sticking around to make sure he could properly 'fix her' like he'd been wanting to do all season does not count as a thank-able action. Stefan was the WORST this season. The actual worst. And Elena should be slapping him as well instead of thanking him.
And you know what? That is the ENTIRE PROBLEM with S/E. This episode actually pinpointed exactly the difference between the two ships, probably without even realizing it. Because you have Elena walking up to Damon and fucking slapping him like a BAMF. She puts him to task for his actions, she fights him every step of the way, she gives as good as she gets and then some. And then she takes Stefan aside and gently thanks him for how supportive and wonderful and faithful he's been. Literally, what the fuck. Even in a world in which you don't see Stefan as objectively the worst, he's still been at least as bad as Damon. He just redirects his dramaticness in more conniving, sneaky ways. But he's still a Class A Douchenozzle. He's just awful. And yet instead of Elena being all "thanks but also fuck you you dick," she just unironically, gratefully thanks him. Literally shaking my head at this. What's the point in a ship like this. It's all hero-worship and idolization and it's NOT FUCKING REAL. I can't take it seriously, tbh. This scene didn't make me rage. It just made me why, basically. I don't really think the show realizes how succinctly it summed up the S/E vs. D/E dynamic, but it really did. And is it any fucking wonder that I ship the latter.
Things that made me lol slash what the fuck about this scene:
"The rest of us will be fine, we'll survive. I mean, you taught us." Um. WHAT. WHAT IN THE ACTUALITY OF FUCK DID STEFAN TEACH YOU ALL. HOW TO NOT SO CLEANLY REMOVE LIMBS? I can't.
"You deserve this." Sorry, Elena, but no. The only thing Stefan deserves is a fucking piano dropped on his head from a 17-story building.
And I'm done. Here lies Stefan/Elena. May it rest in peace. Please, show, let it fucking rest.
~Guys. Prepare to be shocked. I had Klaroline feels. I actually enjoyed this scene. Now, don't get me wrong. I still don't buy them as a legit ship. I certainly don't buy that Klaus is actually in love with Caroline. But this whole 'someday, maybe' vibe is the thing I dug about them in the first place. They were never supposed to be a now ship. There were never even supposed to be a soon ship. They were always meant to be a 'maybe I'll run into you in 300 years and you'll show me your private villa and the whole encounter will be a touch of old and a touch of new and exactly what I needed.' So this scene kind of did it for me in an unexpected way. Even through the conventional romance of it, it was at least in the right area of conventional romance.
Also, ngl, "He's your first love. I intend to be your last." It's a pretty good line. But. But. My first reaction, because I am the worst: Tyler isn't actually Caroline's first love. Matt is. But "He's your second love, I intend to be your last" doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it.
Two things: Candace's face throughout that scene was gold. I love remembering how great this girl is. Also, Klaus and Caroline walking out as bros in the end was the best. So much more appealing than all the dark temptation drivel they were throwing at us.
~Goodness, this D/E scene. My feelings are complicated. Because this is everything that I ever wanted. But it's just not quite the same as it once was. The sire bond, plus my own inability to feel things, well, it's all fucked with my ability to react as I once would have. A year ago, I would have been literally over the fucking moon about this scene. This year, I can't quite say the same. It makes me sad, that I don't feel things like I once did. But it's not just a TVD thing, it's an everything thing, so I should just enjoy what I can and move on. And I did enjoy this scene. I really did. But another thing that kind of entered my mind is that it wasn't surprising at all. Not that I needed to be shocked or anything. But this scene legit needed to happen. There was no other way to go without this show becoming the worst. So yes, we got what we wanted, but it didn't quite feel the same? Like, take 3x19. That was sort of expected, but it wasn't the only way to go. So what we got was so amazing, because it felt so important. It was this huge moment, this integral step in the narrative, but it all could have been a different way. But with this episode, all roads were leading to this. I don't want to make it sound like it wasn't important, because it was. But it was also kind of obvious, in that yes, Elena does love Damon. We knew this. Anything else would have compromised the show even more than it had already been compromised by this sire bond tomfoolery. So I guess I just viscerally felt it less. Does that make sense?
But enough of that. Let's get to the fun part. Because I watched the scene, and I enjoyed it, and I thought about all the above. But then I paused to get a drink of water, and suddenly I was kind of fangirl squee-ing. And I don't even know where it came from, because I wasn't like that during the actual scene, but once I took a moment, it was like the muscle memory of my fangirl self kicked in, and suddenly I was all OTP happy. It was sort of delightful. This may not be exactly how I wanted my OTP to go, and things will never quite be as good as they were. But I can still feel it a bit. I will never really be free of D/E. That's just the way of it.
Ughhh, but guys, the scene itself. This doesn't even need to be said, but how fucking perfect was it that they kind of officially got together over an argument? SOMETIMES MY KIDS ARE THE BEST, GUYS. "I wanted to apologize. Let me finish, I said I wanted to. But then I realized, I'm not sorry." Ughhhhh j'adore.
I always love when Damon flat out says he's not going to change. It's one of my weird secret favourites.
I really enjoy how fond Elena sounds when she says Damon's been a terrible person. I really love these kids.
Basically, this fight was awesome. They are both so stubborn and willful and THE SAME, and that's just how it is, and they love each other anyway, but neither of them will ever back down from anything, because this ship isn't about changing who they are, it's about reaffirming who they really are. Damon and Elena don't change for each other. They grow, but they don't change. And that is all the difference.
Guys, the first time around, I didn't even notice how she repeats the "I love you" right before he kisses her, like she can't get enough of finally saying it, like she's so relieved to finally be allowed to say it out loud, whenever she wants. Sometimes this ship is still perfect.
And now for something truly unexpected. That Stefan moment at the very end? Somehow, shockingly, one of my MVP moments of this episode. I WEIRDLY FUCKING LOVED IT, OK? How did Stefan become one of my favourite parts of a D/E OTP scene, though. But it's this. I love the quiet moments. And Stefan is usually so damn loud in his misery. He whines and cries and makes everybody cater to his manpain, and it makes it really hard for me to truly sympathize with him. But in this moment, he's not making a fuss and throwing chess boards and finding reasons why Elena never would have done this to him if she were in her right mind. He just takes it, and he feels it, and that's that. He sits there, listening to his worst fear coming true, the impossible inevitable, and he accepts it. He accepts the situation, he accepts the pain, and he accepts the comfort offered to him. The way he just reached up and took Lexi's hand was beautiful. This scene was subtle and neat and kind of stunning in its way. Paul Wesley's face is too good for this role, man. But really, this moment was fantastic.
~I also rather enjoyed the Brothership scene. I haven't been able to feel many Brothership feels since Stefan became objectively the worst, but now that he's starting to finally grow up, I'm getting twinges again. And I sort of lowkey loved the awkward, stilted way these boys love each other. Both of them were kind of tip-toe-y and indirect and uncomfortable, and it was kind of awesome, no? Because there's so much feeling, and so much hilarious but also endearing communication fail. And honestly, this is the best OT3 scenario I can feel at this point: "I'm not happy about losing Elena. But I'm happy that you finally got something." Stefan loves his brother more than anything in the world, and he is at his best when he lets that come out a bit. Also, "I'm not not happy for you" is kind of adorable.
~My strange little Bonnie/Jeremy heart really enjoyed that he came to her for the end. Leave me to my feels.
~Ok, guys, I don't even know, but I super enjoyed the whole disappearing ghosts scene. Things like that can be sentimental to the point of being nauseating, but I actually thought it was deftly done, on all counts. Just the right amount of emotional and bittersweet and casual. It was actually really lovely. WHO KNEW I COULD LIKE THIS SORT OF THING.
~I enjoy Alaric and his D/E shipping. I am who I am, ok.
~Guys, this Stefan/Lexi scene: THE BEST STEFAN/LEXI SCENE? I have had such problems with Lexi and their relationship, but seeing her act as an actual friend to him, a friend with good fucking advice to boot, was so satisfying. And it was the first time I really felt like I could understand what Stefan was missing. Lexi never impressed me before. But in this episode, she had a way of helping Stefan to see clearly, and god knows he needs that. It was nice to see a working friendship.
And then I had this weird moment when Lexi echoed a deep personal belief of mine. "Contrary to popular belief, there are actually multiple Ones." OMG YES THANK YOU YES. This is something I actually truly believe. In this whole wide world of ours, I don't subscribe to the belief that there is one solitary person for anyone. There's a whole host of people who are right for you in different ways, who will be what you need, who are the One. But there is no one One. And this is why I have never had any patience of Epic Love stories so treasured on TV. Love isn't cosmic. It's circumstantial, it's situational, it's arbitrary. Your life experiences make you into what you are, and they in turn fashion what you want. If you went to a different college, if you moved into a different apartment, if you walked into a different coffee shop, all of these things contribute to who ends up being your One. And isn't that better? Isn't that more personal than being born into a set pattern, doomed to fit into one specific model of ideal romance? So this has been an impromptu treatise on my beliefs on love. But it's also why I loved this scene. Because Lexi is telling Stefan to get over his hackneyed ideas of Epic Romance. That's a relic of Disney, a conventional trap designed to keep him static. Elena was a great love of his. No one is denying that. He was a great love of hers as well. But people grow, and their priorities shift, and sometimes, Ones stop being Ones. That doesn't mean you're done with love. For Stefan to think that Elena is his one true love, the only valid love he'll have for literally all eternity, is, frankly, ludicrous. And he needed Lexi to knock some sense into him. Obsessively categorizing Elena as his One was legit ruining Stefan's life. Lexi tries to shake that out of him, move him forward, force him to grow in the same way Elena already has. And best of all, Stefan takes it in. He's finally in a place where he's ready to listen. And I haven't been this fond of Stefan in actual years.
Also super beautiful? The way Lexi ends with "the only way to move forward is to let go, and move on." (P.S hello, Lost.) It's about Elena, but it's also about her, which is what gets me so much. Stefan needs to let her go too. So long as he's stuck on what he's lost, he'll never be whole. And for all her faults, Lexi truly does want Stefan to be whole. So she urges him to find a way to move on from losing her, really move on this time. And because Lost seems really relevant right now, remember, let go, move on.
~This last Bonnie/Jeremy scene. Just. Damn, Bonnie. Kat fucking knocked this episode out of the park. The way she sort of internalized the pain of what was happening to her, how she tried to hard to make sure her friends stayed ok, but how all the while it was tearing her apart inside, just. Gorgeous. And her fucking face in this last scene. Ughhh, I can't. So ridiculously gorgeous. Stunningly done, really.
What spell did Bonnie do? I'm not sure how I feel about Jeremy being back. I can't be unhappy, because I do love Jeremy, but it does seem sort of strange, given this season. Idk. I guess stand by for season 5?
Bonnie being gone is a problem. Because I can't have her gone. This show doesn't work as well without her. That being said, I did love everything about her death. This is exactly how Bonnie would go. It was ridiculously true to character, and wonderful in its way. I just need it not to stick. Bonnie needs to be back k thanks the end.
Ughhhh and she doesn't even want her friends to know she's dead. HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS, WHY DON'T YOU.
~Lol, Matt/Rebekah, BUT WAIT. Guys, you will be shocked by this. I didn't hate this scene. Don't get me wrong, I still find the concept of Matt/Rebekah as a romance ridiculous. But them fucking off to Europe together and maybe fooling around a little, knowing it wasn't a forever thing but maybe having a bit of fun just because they can? Is not something I hate. Who would have thought it.
~AND THEN ELENA AND KATHERINE HAVE AN EPIC FIGHT AND EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL.
This is something I've been wanting, actually - the Katherine version. Because we've all focused a lot on how much Elena hates and resents Katherine, and no one ever thinks about the myriad issues Katherine has re: Elena. I appreciated that about this scene.
AND THEN ELENA FORCE-FED KATHERINE THE CURE AND THE HAD AN AWESOME SIGN-OFF LINE AND I CLAPPED WITH GLEE. But really, this was awesome. I've already said, I'm intrigued enough by a Katherine as human storyline, and it means I get to keep everyone else as a vampire. Katherine is the only one who could really do humanity a service, you know?
My favourite part? The way Elena smiles when she says "have a nice human life, Katherine." Like it's a curse. All I could see was, "better you than I." And it was perfect.
~AND THEN THE END HAPPENED. GUYS, LITERALLY, I CAN'T. No, but really. I don't even really understand it. Like, Silas is Stefan's doppelgänger? But how, though? Did he just randomly choose Stefan? He can still switch forms, right? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Call me daft, but I legit have no idea what the fuck just happened.
But beyond that. Omg. OMG. OH EM FUCKING GEE THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST HILARIOUS THING TVD HAS EVER DONE. SILAS DROPPED STEFAN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE QUARRY. IN AN INDUSTRIAL SAFE. I THINK ABOUT THIS AND I SHAKE MY HEAD IN BEWILDERED AWE. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE WRITERS ROOM THE DAY THEY CAME UP WITH THIS. I THINK THEY'RE TROLLING US. THIS IS JUST. HYSTERICAL. TVD SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR BEST COMEDY THIS YEAR, NO JOKE.
I seriously can't, though. Omg. I'm sure there are countless Angel impressions being made right now. It does seem too eerily similar to be coincidental. But it's also a thousand times more hilarious. And it was pretty hilarious then. How long is Stefan going to stay in the safe? I just can't imagine a way that this will ever not be funny. Perhaps it was supposed to be dramatic. Do you think there were people who were distressed and anxious? Because I couldn't focus for all the lol-ing. Guys. This actually happened.
THAT'S IT I'M DONE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
So that's it, guys. That's season 4. A very tumultuous season, let's be honest. It's hard for me to judge this season as a whole, and I don't know that I'll have clarity for a long time. There are some obvious things that have really shaken the way I watch this show. Basically, true to the graduation theme of this episode, I've been doing some reflecting on the past. Prepare for some dramatiques, people. I'm thinking about last year, when I was so shattered by the finale. I was literally depressed for days. I wrote a 20,000+ word recap in the most excruciatingly explicit detail. It took me about two weeks to write. This show was a fucking lifestyle for me. Probably not healthy, tbh. But honestly? I miss it. Things are a bit different now. A lot of it is the show, but a lot of it is life in general. Real life circumstances, personal whatever, and the return, with a vengeance, of my inability to feel, have all altered my relationship with this show. Everything feels a little less, somehow. So there are moments in this episode that I know would have gotten me high for DAYS last year, that I just enjoy now. Maybe I'm becoming a casual viewer. I don't really know. It's been a weird year, I guess. But I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, either. I really miss the way I used to feel about this show. But even in my vastly reduced state, I still feel more for this show than I do for most others.
So, in short: this was a fun episode. And despite everything, I'll see you all for season 5.
OK WHAT FIRST. Ummmm. Shall we try to go vaguely in order?
~LOL FOREVER at Kol being the ringleader of the Disgruntled Dead's. His speech was basically the reverse of The Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast. "We are beasts, we've got fangs, razor sharp ones. We won't rest til they're good and deceased!" They being, of course, Team Mystic Falls.
~Stefan being useless during the apocalypse was 0% surprising. Tbh, Stefan's recent proactive-ness has been weird.
~I am still meh on Lexi, but who isn't nowadays. Still, she didn't make me want to set her on fire in this ep, so that's a considerable improvement to, well, always.
~Cute Gilbert-Saltzman family reunion scene meant the return of the inappropriate Elena/Alaric chemistry. Did anyone else notice this? Why is this the one ship I am uncomfortable shipping?
~I always enjoy an episode in which Damon is mortally wounded within the first 15 minutes. Let the good times roll.
~Matt/Rebekah. I just. Really? Also, what is the freaking point of setting Matt up on a trigger thing. Like, why. What does that even do. WHY DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN. Rebekah isn't even staying on this show! I honestly can't even. I'm done.
~Ok, let's discuss the sire bond, and get the goddamn thing over with, and be done with it. This was not a resolution. It was not even close to a resolution. It leaves me literally shaking my head in confusion at all those comments from Julie Plec about how viewers will finally understand the deal with the sire bond and get why the writers did what they did. Literally, nothing was clarified. Elena isn't sired anymore. Well, she hasn't been for ages. SHE NEVER FUCKING WAS, really, but no one seems to want to address that. If Elena being able to say no to Damon is the proof we needed that the sire bond isn't active, well, it was never active in the first place. This is something we all knew, though. I honestly don't really know what the writers thought they were doing. Do they actually think any of this was convincing? I know we're supposed to take the sire bond as fact, I get that. But the logic of it has never made sense, and it still doesn't. I just can't with it anymore.
Basically, this. I've known for a while now that the writers intended for the sire bond to be real. As effective as my denial was as a coping mechanism, I always knew deep down that this is how it would go. I never really entertained the idea that it would end up being THIS pointless, but still. The sire bond was a mistake. A huge, staggering, tragic, horrifying mistake. It will never NOT be a mistake. There will never, never be a moment in this show that will make the existence of the sire bond worth it. It has, unfortunately, irrevocably damaged my opinion of this show. It took the one narrative I had absolute, utter faith in, and trashed it, betrayed it, completely compromised it for a contrived shipper failsafe. That will never be ok.
But I'm done. I have to be. I'm never going to be able to quit this show. Even with my emotional investment at a fraction of what it was, I am still in this show til the bitter end. It's too much a part of me now. And I will never be able to handle it if I let the sire bond be a thing. I KNOW I'm supposed to be ok with it, to consider the D/E 'resolution' adequate payment for my suffering. I don't. I don't even vaguely, and I could write essays on why. But I just need to move on. I say this now, but you guys know me better than that, and I am sure there are many rants to come on this subject, but for now? That's it. I am declaring the sire bond nonexistent. The show clearly believes we should be over it. So, fine. For all intents and purposes, the sire bond didn't happen. I am probably violating a cardinal rule of fandom in just blatantly ignoring canon, but that's what I have to do, so I'm doing it. I want to be able to watch this show and actually enjoy it. I want to be able to find some shipper glee in my OTP finally getting together. I want to not be so fucking angry all the time, really. So I'm tabula rasa-ing myself. No more sire bond. Didn't happen. The end.
Come at me, I guess?
~After that manifesto, I can contextualize. The way the show 'dealt with' the sire bond was so hilariously inadequate that I actually feel sort of justified in straight up ignoring that it ever happened. Clearly, the writers don't think it has any real import. Which is baffling, but whatever. If they want to just toss out this huge season conflict so easily, fine. I'll do the same.
~Elena not wanting the cure is aces. I side-eye her even saying she wanted it. Elena is a great vampire. She needs to stop pretending she isn't. Vampire Elena forever. OH MY GOD GUYS IT JUST REALLY SUNK IN THAT WE REALLY GET VAMPIRE ELENA FOREVER OMG GLORIOUS DAY.
~This entire episode should have just been entitled "Eavesdropping: Fun for the Whole Undead Family." Literally, every single scene, there was a whole group of people listening in from the other room. It was hilarious. Slash really saved time. No one had to update anyone, ever. ALREADY HEARD EVERYTHING, VAMPIRE HEARING, AMIRIGHT?
~Why is this show even trying to drag S/E on, though. Even Stefan doesn't look that into it. His line about Elena being the love of his life? Looked more learned by rote than felt. Though that's true to character, honestly. This show will do itself a great service by actually letting Stefan move on. It's time. It's long past time, really. And I would actually be excited to see what Stefan could be without his infatuation with Elena. I mean REALLY without it, not pretending or posturing or anything. Wouldn't it be something to get to see Stefan grow, though.
~Ok, but did anyone else find this hilarious? "What am I supposed to to, tell her it's her choice? Cause that worked out so well." Um, YES, STEFAN. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, BECAUSE IT IS HER CHOICE, YOU FUCKTARD. SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A THING THAT HE SAID, ALL EXASPERATED-LIKE. I CAN'T. I mean, it honestly made me lol more than rage, but this is so indicative of Stefan. That he's this upfront about the fact that giving her a choice was always his 'move' rather than his belief, and that he's so deluded that he doesn't even realize how fucked up it all sounds. What are you, Stefan Salvatore. I need a flow chart.
~In the intentionally hilarious category, though, this was legit comedy: "I can live in a yurt." I ENJOYED THAT LINE DELIVERY SO HARD, THO. Paul Wesley, you can stay.
~I will never not love how much Damon doesn't care about his own impending demise. I really fucking love Damon, you guys.
~"Take off your shirt." "Elena, there are children present." The Damon Salvatore Comedy Tour, on tour, Summer 2013.
~AND THEN HE LITERALLY THROWS THE CURE AT A HUNTER TO KEEP THE GILBERTS FROM SAVING HIS LIFE. I CAN'T. DELIGHTED.
~The question of who would take the cure was one of those that I kept reevaluating over the episode (over the last few weeks, tbh). For a while, I was convinced it would be Damon. But I friend of mine and I were talking the other day, and she was saying that the internet was pretty united on the idea that Damon would be getting cure-ified. And that got me thinking that TVD never does anything that obvious. And when Jeremy came up with the cure plan, I was sure that it was a red herring. A red herring I appreciate, don't get me wrong. I have to think that the writers must have known that Damon would be a popular theory. This was a nice bait and switch, as it were. But once I knew that Damon would be the fakeout, I figured it had to be Katherine. She was the only one with a similar storyline potential - the vampire who got cured had to not want to be cured. Otherwise, why bother. And Katherine was pretty much the only other vampire who had no desire to be human. Klaus could have been a contender (he could have been SOMEBODY - sorry, it's very late), but the spinoff spoiled that. So yep, Katherine. Why else would she still be around, honestly. And with all the emphasis on ULTIMATE immortality, of course she'd end up properly mortal. Sometimes this show is very crafty. And sometimes it's much less sneaky that it thinks it is.
~Damon/physics = new OTP. #insert crass friction joke here
~I love how Stefan was all, "I will go to New Orleans myself to beg Klaus to save my brother..." and then he just went to graduation instead. Nice one, Stefan.
~I am about the break the First Rule of TVD and ask the forbidden question: SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME THIS DAMN TIMELINE. How long has this all been going on? Because it didn't seem like Elena was switched off for that long, and yet somehow she didn't send in her college apps because she was switched off? Does she even know how college apps work? She would have had to have sent them in MONTHS ago. Color me confused. Whatever, who cares, school is irrelevant to this show.
~Ughhh, Bonnie during that pre-graduation scene. HOW SO FLAWLESS, LADY. This is one of those things I will need next season to conclude upon. Everything about Bonnie in this ep was perfect. But I cannot support her actually being gone. Think very seriously about what you're doing, show.
~Alright, this scene was cute in its way, but was no one else a little side-eye-y at Stefan being One Of the Gang Yeah! and no one even noticing that 'all of us are here!' didn't actually include Tyler? Idk, man. I get the sentiment, but I couldn't quite shut off the Logic Baton.
~It was nice of Mystic Falls High to bus in kids from nearby towns to fill out the graduation ceremony.
~Ngl, I appreciated that the graduation ceremony was alphabetical and vaguely realistic. I always get annoyed by the standard high school show practice of having all the main characters in a row at graduation for no discernible reason but convenience.
~Bonnie vs. Kol was a delight. All the Bonnie, basically.
~Damon's fake Scottish accent was adorable. Carry on, my boy.
~What is wrong with me that I so enjoy watching Damon get shot repeatedly. Should I worry about this.
~Omg, guys, I didn't even notice how Elena nodded when Alaric suggested force-feeding Damon the cure the first time around. UGHHH MY SHIP LOVE THESE KIDS. And not in a 'she can't watch him die' way. In a 'she will do whatever is necessary to keep him alive even though she fucking hates it when he does the same thing to her because they are the same goddamn person and their will is the only will that matters.' Sometimes, despite everything, my OTP is still flaw-free.
~GUYS. KLAUS BEHEADING THAT WITCH LADY WITH A MORTARBOARD. AND THE STRAIGHT UP FUCKING HILARIOUS SHOT OF THE DECAPITATED BODY THAT FOLLOWED. I LITERALLY CAN'T. DYING. DYING OF LOLZ.
~I don't know that I've enjoyed Klaus this much this entire season. Klaus was actually a delight in this episode. In many ways, this episode was a hearkening back to happier times.
~Love Elena's white dress. I love white dresses, but all the ones I find are see-through, and that won't do. Anyone have any tips?
~ELENA CHECKS ON DAMON AND THEN SLAPS HIM AND THAT'S IT THAT'S LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SCENE. EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR, TBH.
~And everyone is listening in downstairs. Seriously, guys, so much of this episode was comedy.
~Guys, I can't with this Stefan/Elena scene. Not once did I worry that the show was going to go in a romantic direction with them in this ep. It was pretty obvious that this season was going to end D/E. But I literally cannot with Elena fucking thanking Stefan. I mean, we knew it was going to happen. But Stefan was legit the root of all evil in the first half of the season. And him sticking around to make sure he could properly 'fix her' like he'd been wanting to do all season does not count as a thank-able action. Stefan was the WORST this season. The actual worst. And Elena should be slapping him as well instead of thanking him.
And you know what? That is the ENTIRE PROBLEM with S/E. This episode actually pinpointed exactly the difference between the two ships, probably without even realizing it. Because you have Elena walking up to Damon and fucking slapping him like a BAMF. She puts him to task for his actions, she fights him every step of the way, she gives as good as she gets and then some. And then she takes Stefan aside and gently thanks him for how supportive and wonderful and faithful he's been. Literally, what the fuck. Even in a world in which you don't see Stefan as objectively the worst, he's still been at least as bad as Damon. He just redirects his dramaticness in more conniving, sneaky ways. But he's still a Class A Douchenozzle. He's just awful. And yet instead of Elena being all "thanks but also fuck you you dick," she just unironically, gratefully thanks him. Literally shaking my head at this. What's the point in a ship like this. It's all hero-worship and idolization and it's NOT FUCKING REAL. I can't take it seriously, tbh. This scene didn't make me rage. It just made me why, basically. I don't really think the show realizes how succinctly it summed up the S/E vs. D/E dynamic, but it really did. And is it any fucking wonder that I ship the latter.
Things that made me lol slash what the fuck about this scene:
"The rest of us will be fine, we'll survive. I mean, you taught us." Um. WHAT. WHAT IN THE ACTUALITY OF FUCK DID STEFAN TEACH YOU ALL. HOW TO NOT SO CLEANLY REMOVE LIMBS? I can't.
"You deserve this." Sorry, Elena, but no. The only thing Stefan deserves is a fucking piano dropped on his head from a 17-story building.
And I'm done. Here lies Stefan/Elena. May it rest in peace. Please, show, let it fucking rest.
~Guys. Prepare to be shocked. I had Klaroline feels. I actually enjoyed this scene. Now, don't get me wrong. I still don't buy them as a legit ship. I certainly don't buy that Klaus is actually in love with Caroline. But this whole 'someday, maybe' vibe is the thing I dug about them in the first place. They were never supposed to be a now ship. There were never even supposed to be a soon ship. They were always meant to be a 'maybe I'll run into you in 300 years and you'll show me your private villa and the whole encounter will be a touch of old and a touch of new and exactly what I needed.' So this scene kind of did it for me in an unexpected way. Even through the conventional romance of it, it was at least in the right area of conventional romance.
Also, ngl, "He's your first love. I intend to be your last." It's a pretty good line. But. But. My first reaction, because I am the worst: Tyler isn't actually Caroline's first love. Matt is. But "He's your second love, I intend to be your last" doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it.
Two things: Candace's face throughout that scene was gold. I love remembering how great this girl is. Also, Klaus and Caroline walking out as bros in the end was the best. So much more appealing than all the dark temptation drivel they were throwing at us.
~Goodness, this D/E scene. My feelings are complicated. Because this is everything that I ever wanted. But it's just not quite the same as it once was. The sire bond, plus my own inability to feel things, well, it's all fucked with my ability to react as I once would have. A year ago, I would have been literally over the fucking moon about this scene. This year, I can't quite say the same. It makes me sad, that I don't feel things like I once did. But it's not just a TVD thing, it's an everything thing, so I should just enjoy what I can and move on. And I did enjoy this scene. I really did. But another thing that kind of entered my mind is that it wasn't surprising at all. Not that I needed to be shocked or anything. But this scene legit needed to happen. There was no other way to go without this show becoming the worst. So yes, we got what we wanted, but it didn't quite feel the same? Like, take 3x19. That was sort of expected, but it wasn't the only way to go. So what we got was so amazing, because it felt so important. It was this huge moment, this integral step in the narrative, but it all could have been a different way. But with this episode, all roads were leading to this. I don't want to make it sound like it wasn't important, because it was. But it was also kind of obvious, in that yes, Elena does love Damon. We knew this. Anything else would have compromised the show even more than it had already been compromised by this sire bond tomfoolery. So I guess I just viscerally felt it less. Does that make sense?
But enough of that. Let's get to the fun part. Because I watched the scene, and I enjoyed it, and I thought about all the above. But then I paused to get a drink of water, and suddenly I was kind of fangirl squee-ing. And I don't even know where it came from, because I wasn't like that during the actual scene, but once I took a moment, it was like the muscle memory of my fangirl self kicked in, and suddenly I was all OTP happy. It was sort of delightful. This may not be exactly how I wanted my OTP to go, and things will never quite be as good as they were. But I can still feel it a bit. I will never really be free of D/E. That's just the way of it.
Ughhh, but guys, the scene itself. This doesn't even need to be said, but how fucking perfect was it that they kind of officially got together over an argument? SOMETIMES MY KIDS ARE THE BEST, GUYS. "I wanted to apologize. Let me finish, I said I wanted to. But then I realized, I'm not sorry." Ughhhhh j'adore.
I always love when Damon flat out says he's not going to change. It's one of my weird secret favourites.
I really enjoy how fond Elena sounds when she says Damon's been a terrible person. I really love these kids.
Basically, this fight was awesome. They are both so stubborn and willful and THE SAME, and that's just how it is, and they love each other anyway, but neither of them will ever back down from anything, because this ship isn't about changing who they are, it's about reaffirming who they really are. Damon and Elena don't change for each other. They grow, but they don't change. And that is all the difference.
Guys, the first time around, I didn't even notice how she repeats the "I love you" right before he kisses her, like she can't get enough of finally saying it, like she's so relieved to finally be allowed to say it out loud, whenever she wants. Sometimes this ship is still perfect.
And now for something truly unexpected. That Stefan moment at the very end? Somehow, shockingly, one of my MVP moments of this episode. I WEIRDLY FUCKING LOVED IT, OK? How did Stefan become one of my favourite parts of a D/E OTP scene, though. But it's this. I love the quiet moments. And Stefan is usually so damn loud in his misery. He whines and cries and makes everybody cater to his manpain, and it makes it really hard for me to truly sympathize with him. But in this moment, he's not making a fuss and throwing chess boards and finding reasons why Elena never would have done this to him if she were in her right mind. He just takes it, and he feels it, and that's that. He sits there, listening to his worst fear coming true, the impossible inevitable, and he accepts it. He accepts the situation, he accepts the pain, and he accepts the comfort offered to him. The way he just reached up and took Lexi's hand was beautiful. This scene was subtle and neat and kind of stunning in its way. Paul Wesley's face is too good for this role, man. But really, this moment was fantastic.
~I also rather enjoyed the Brothership scene. I haven't been able to feel many Brothership feels since Stefan became objectively the worst, but now that he's starting to finally grow up, I'm getting twinges again. And I sort of lowkey loved the awkward, stilted way these boys love each other. Both of them were kind of tip-toe-y and indirect and uncomfortable, and it was kind of awesome, no? Because there's so much feeling, and so much hilarious but also endearing communication fail. And honestly, this is the best OT3 scenario I can feel at this point: "I'm not happy about losing Elena. But I'm happy that you finally got something." Stefan loves his brother more than anything in the world, and he is at his best when he lets that come out a bit. Also, "I'm not not happy for you" is kind of adorable.
~My strange little Bonnie/Jeremy heart really enjoyed that he came to her for the end. Leave me to my feels.
~Ok, guys, I don't even know, but I super enjoyed the whole disappearing ghosts scene. Things like that can be sentimental to the point of being nauseating, but I actually thought it was deftly done, on all counts. Just the right amount of emotional and bittersweet and casual. It was actually really lovely. WHO KNEW I COULD LIKE THIS SORT OF THING.
~I enjoy Alaric and his D/E shipping. I am who I am, ok.
~Guys, this Stefan/Lexi scene: THE BEST STEFAN/LEXI SCENE? I have had such problems with Lexi and their relationship, but seeing her act as an actual friend to him, a friend with good fucking advice to boot, was so satisfying. And it was the first time I really felt like I could understand what Stefan was missing. Lexi never impressed me before. But in this episode, she had a way of helping Stefan to see clearly, and god knows he needs that. It was nice to see a working friendship.
And then I had this weird moment when Lexi echoed a deep personal belief of mine. "Contrary to popular belief, there are actually multiple Ones." OMG YES THANK YOU YES. This is something I actually truly believe. In this whole wide world of ours, I don't subscribe to the belief that there is one solitary person for anyone. There's a whole host of people who are right for you in different ways, who will be what you need, who are the One. But there is no one One. And this is why I have never had any patience of Epic Love stories so treasured on TV. Love isn't cosmic. It's circumstantial, it's situational, it's arbitrary. Your life experiences make you into what you are, and they in turn fashion what you want. If you went to a different college, if you moved into a different apartment, if you walked into a different coffee shop, all of these things contribute to who ends up being your One. And isn't that better? Isn't that more personal than being born into a set pattern, doomed to fit into one specific model of ideal romance? So this has been an impromptu treatise on my beliefs on love. But it's also why I loved this scene. Because Lexi is telling Stefan to get over his hackneyed ideas of Epic Romance. That's a relic of Disney, a conventional trap designed to keep him static. Elena was a great love of his. No one is denying that. He was a great love of hers as well. But people grow, and their priorities shift, and sometimes, Ones stop being Ones. That doesn't mean you're done with love. For Stefan to think that Elena is his one true love, the only valid love he'll have for literally all eternity, is, frankly, ludicrous. And he needed Lexi to knock some sense into him. Obsessively categorizing Elena as his One was legit ruining Stefan's life. Lexi tries to shake that out of him, move him forward, force him to grow in the same way Elena already has. And best of all, Stefan takes it in. He's finally in a place where he's ready to listen. And I haven't been this fond of Stefan in actual years.
Also super beautiful? The way Lexi ends with "the only way to move forward is to let go, and move on." (P.S hello, Lost.) It's about Elena, but it's also about her, which is what gets me so much. Stefan needs to let her go too. So long as he's stuck on what he's lost, he'll never be whole. And for all her faults, Lexi truly does want Stefan to be whole. So she urges him to find a way to move on from losing her, really move on this time. And because Lost seems really relevant right now, remember, let go, move on.
~This last Bonnie/Jeremy scene. Just. Damn, Bonnie. Kat fucking knocked this episode out of the park. The way she sort of internalized the pain of what was happening to her, how she tried to hard to make sure her friends stayed ok, but how all the while it was tearing her apart inside, just. Gorgeous. And her fucking face in this last scene. Ughhh, I can't. So ridiculously gorgeous. Stunningly done, really.
What spell did Bonnie do? I'm not sure how I feel about Jeremy being back. I can't be unhappy, because I do love Jeremy, but it does seem sort of strange, given this season. Idk. I guess stand by for season 5?
Bonnie being gone is a problem. Because I can't have her gone. This show doesn't work as well without her. That being said, I did love everything about her death. This is exactly how Bonnie would go. It was ridiculously true to character, and wonderful in its way. I just need it not to stick. Bonnie needs to be back k thanks the end.
Ughhhh and she doesn't even want her friends to know she's dead. HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS, WHY DON'T YOU.
~Lol, Matt/Rebekah, BUT WAIT. Guys, you will be shocked by this. I didn't hate this scene. Don't get me wrong, I still find the concept of Matt/Rebekah as a romance ridiculous. But them fucking off to Europe together and maybe fooling around a little, knowing it wasn't a forever thing but maybe having a bit of fun just because they can? Is not something I hate. Who would have thought it.
~AND THEN ELENA AND KATHERINE HAVE AN EPIC FIGHT AND EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL.
This is something I've been wanting, actually - the Katherine version. Because we've all focused a lot on how much Elena hates and resents Katherine, and no one ever thinks about the myriad issues Katherine has re: Elena. I appreciated that about this scene.
AND THEN ELENA FORCE-FED KATHERINE THE CURE AND THE HAD AN AWESOME SIGN-OFF LINE AND I CLAPPED WITH GLEE. But really, this was awesome. I've already said, I'm intrigued enough by a Katherine as human storyline, and it means I get to keep everyone else as a vampire. Katherine is the only one who could really do humanity a service, you know?
My favourite part? The way Elena smiles when she says "have a nice human life, Katherine." Like it's a curse. All I could see was, "better you than I." And it was perfect.
~AND THEN THE END HAPPENED. GUYS, LITERALLY, I CAN'T. No, but really. I don't even really understand it. Like, Silas is Stefan's doppelgänger? But how, though? Did he just randomly choose Stefan? He can still switch forms, right? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Call me daft, but I legit have no idea what the fuck just happened.
But beyond that. Omg. OMG. OH EM FUCKING GEE THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST HILARIOUS THING TVD HAS EVER DONE. SILAS DROPPED STEFAN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE QUARRY. IN AN INDUSTRIAL SAFE. I THINK ABOUT THIS AND I SHAKE MY HEAD IN BEWILDERED AWE. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE WRITERS ROOM THE DAY THEY CAME UP WITH THIS. I THINK THEY'RE TROLLING US. THIS IS JUST. HYSTERICAL. TVD SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR BEST COMEDY THIS YEAR, NO JOKE.
I seriously can't, though. Omg. I'm sure there are countless Angel impressions being made right now. It does seem too eerily similar to be coincidental. But it's also a thousand times more hilarious. And it was pretty hilarious then. How long is Stefan going to stay in the safe? I just can't imagine a way that this will ever not be funny. Perhaps it was supposed to be dramatic. Do you think there were people who were distressed and anxious? Because I couldn't focus for all the lol-ing. Guys. This actually happened.
THAT'S IT I'M DONE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
So that's it, guys. That's season 4. A very tumultuous season, let's be honest. It's hard for me to judge this season as a whole, and I don't know that I'll have clarity for a long time. There are some obvious things that have really shaken the way I watch this show. Basically, true to the graduation theme of this episode, I've been doing some reflecting on the past. Prepare for some dramatiques, people. I'm thinking about last year, when I was so shattered by the finale. I was literally depressed for days. I wrote a 20,000+ word recap in the most excruciatingly explicit detail. It took me about two weeks to write. This show was a fucking lifestyle for me. Probably not healthy, tbh. But honestly? I miss it. Things are a bit different now. A lot of it is the show, but a lot of it is life in general. Real life circumstances, personal whatever, and the return, with a vengeance, of my inability to feel, have all altered my relationship with this show. Everything feels a little less, somehow. So there are moments in this episode that I know would have gotten me high for DAYS last year, that I just enjoy now. Maybe I'm becoming a casual viewer. I don't really know. It's been a weird year, I guess. But I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, either. I really miss the way I used to feel about this show. But even in my vastly reduced state, I still feel more for this show than I do for most others.
So, in short: this was a fun episode. And despite everything, I'll see you all for season 5.