Understanding my own feelings.
Do you ever feel like you just don't want to do anything, feel inpatient, pissed of, helplessness and mad all at one time? well if you ever have or are currently you feel like I am right now.
well since I am pretty good at understanding my own feelings I thought I would write about it and what broght it on maybe some one might benefit from it or try to aboid this horrible feeling.
Here are some of the things that will make you thing or do, look for company to talk with it dont matter the gender as long as it can talk back. What you are trying to do is feel a void that just opend up and you are confussed on what it is and since it's a void are you wanna fill it something and that is talking to some one about whats going on.
Crying is one that is the most uncontrollable one of them all, I dont mean hurt crying to be comfussed this is emotanaly hurt crying were you just get tears only. How is that broght on you ask Dante-Master. *nods* well its broght on by massive thinking of a person in question, all the thoughts you are having are all just you being alone at the same time thinking how come you deserve thins, also the pain of that you are no good, are a failure, and any small detail about how many times you been rejected or dumped rolled into one. Let me tell you if you never cryed I think this feeling ccan make you.
The feeling of not wanting to do anything and inpatiant are both in the same and not really they are separate but they go together at in that type of circumtances, what brings it on, The thought of loneliness brings this on and you cant help but not want to lose who you love so you dont want to do anything wrong and at the same time you dont want it so you want to fix it. and at the end the desission of doing something come down to if you have enogh will to go against not wanting to do anything I my self think that my will is strong but the massive amount of thinking get that will lost for a wille soo I would say right now my will is strong.
Now lets go to the more anoying feelings that you will feel, pissed of the reason is that the other person is ither saying hurtfull things to you and you dont want to fight back cause you fear the worst that you will lose him/her and you know that you will lose it and unleash all of you anger at them. Being angry is just natural at this moment you think what the F*** did I do to deserve this or I did not do anything for this to happen Grrrrr but yet you keep it bottled cause of fear that over wealms you costanly. But nothing compares to helplessnes you realise you have absolutely no controll over that person or dont want to have anycontroll over that person cause of the love you have for them, that brings on many thoughts that will be intensified by all the feelings that you are havings to a break poink in you mind and finaly "The Fear" yes the fear is the worst this is the last feeling you have at the end of ever thought that you think every day every hour every minute, that you provably see the end of it all you will part with your love one never to be toggether again (oh this is an important portion when you think this you picture you special some one being happy with some one else, and you being heart broken over and over again and nevr being happy. Let me tell you really power stuff this is and dont give in to it this can cause you to do stupid things hurt some one and specialy hurting your self permanantly) that brings on the water works.
Well there you go I dont think I can make my self any more clear of what I am feeling right now, well actully i am feeling bitter right now. if you dont want to think about anything here are some recomandations. play a game that doest not involve any sceans with relationship stuff or just girl or boy being shy about the other person or stuff like that. examples:
Racing games mario kart works well
fighting kinda makes you feel good for a wille
Pikmin for the game cube and wii works well
card games and board games please void Monapoly and scrable
and for god's sake do not play any RPG games that the worst game you can play I mean it.
Sow I don't have anything more to say, I woke up at 8:30 am today had to leave for work at 9am but all I did was stare at the cealing it a good medation that makes you not think of anything and the next thing I knew it was 12pm sow I am over late now and have to head off to work.
and if any one is worndering yes I am stremely emotional right now and everithing I said above, but people that know me will remember that I am not the type to be crused under this for long or let it get to me. and when ever I am emotinal like this my expression is that of blank dont like to sho my self being sad to people.
and sorry to have made this a long post.
well since I am pretty good at understanding my own feelings I thought I would write about it and what broght it on maybe some one might benefit from it or try to aboid this horrible feeling.
Here are some of the things that will make you thing or do, look for company to talk with it dont matter the gender as long as it can talk back. What you are trying to do is feel a void that just opend up and you are confussed on what it is and since it's a void are you wanna fill it something and that is talking to some one about whats going on.
Crying is one that is the most uncontrollable one of them all, I dont mean hurt crying to be comfussed this is emotanaly hurt crying were you just get tears only. How is that broght on you ask Dante-Master. *nods* well its broght on by massive thinking of a person in question, all the thoughts you are having are all just you being alone at the same time thinking how come you deserve thins, also the pain of that you are no good, are a failure, and any small detail about how many times you been rejected or dumped rolled into one. Let me tell you if you never cryed I think this feeling ccan make you.
The feeling of not wanting to do anything and inpatiant are both in the same and not really they are separate but they go together at in that type of circumtances, what brings it on, The thought of loneliness brings this on and you cant help but not want to lose who you love so you dont want to do anything wrong and at the same time you dont want it so you want to fix it. and at the end the desission of doing something come down to if you have enogh will to go against not wanting to do anything I my self think that my will is strong but the massive amount of thinking get that will lost for a wille soo I would say right now my will is strong.
Now lets go to the more anoying feelings that you will feel, pissed of the reason is that the other person is ither saying hurtfull things to you and you dont want to fight back cause you fear the worst that you will lose him/her and you know that you will lose it and unleash all of you anger at them. Being angry is just natural at this moment you think what the F*** did I do to deserve this or I did not do anything for this to happen Grrrrr but yet you keep it bottled cause of fear that over wealms you costanly. But nothing compares to helplessnes you realise you have absolutely no controll over that person or dont want to have anycontroll over that person cause of the love you have for them, that brings on many thoughts that will be intensified by all the feelings that you are havings to a break poink in you mind and finaly "The Fear" yes the fear is the worst this is the last feeling you have at the end of ever thought that you think every day every hour every minute, that you provably see the end of it all you will part with your love one never to be toggether again (oh this is an important portion when you think this you picture you special some one being happy with some one else, and you being heart broken over and over again and nevr being happy. Let me tell you really power stuff this is and dont give in to it this can cause you to do stupid things hurt some one and specialy hurting your self permanantly) that brings on the water works.
Well there you go I dont think I can make my self any more clear of what I am feeling right now, well actully i am feeling bitter right now. if you dont want to think about anything here are some recomandations. play a game that doest not involve any sceans with relationship stuff or just girl or boy being shy about the other person or stuff like that. examples:
Racing games mario kart works well
fighting kinda makes you feel good for a wille
Pikmin for the game cube and wii works well
card games and board games please void Monapoly and scrable
and for god's sake do not play any RPG games that the worst game you can play I mean it.
Sow I don't have anything more to say, I woke up at 8:30 am today had to leave for work at 9am but all I did was stare at the cealing it a good medation that makes you not think of anything and the next thing I knew it was 12pm sow I am over late now and have to head off to work.
and if any one is worndering yes I am stremely emotional right now and everithing I said above, but people that know me will remember that I am not the type to be crused under this for long or let it get to me. and when ever I am emotinal like this my expression is that of blank dont like to sho my self being sad to people.
and sorry to have made this a long post.