(no subject)
I am in need of a male speciman as a test subject...I think.
In other news I was reading my sister's journal (that she doesn't know I know about) and it moved me to see this written in it:
I havent updated in a while. I think I am not so good at this?? It is good therapy, though. I'm worried about my sister (the younger one). She just can't seem to get healthy. She told me last week that she has been going through a relapse.. I just wish she would talk to someone about this. It doesn't help being alone, and I know she feels entirely alone in everything she has gone through. It's hard for many people to realize how disabling depression can be. People throw the term around so loosely "oh I'm depressed", etc. But when you have that actual chemical imbalance, if you dont have the proper care or knowledge it can literally take over your life. Even when you know what you have, have medication, know everything there is to know about this. It can still be disabling... That's why I worry about my sister. I see her spiraling into this black hole so often. She becomes extremely depressed, won't talk to anyone, everyone is the enemy, and no one can help her. Her eating habits change, her demeanor completely changes... it's like she is pulled back from reality and can't see any further in front of her then this black hole of depression she gets in. I don't know how else to help her. Or how to help my parents to help her. Our family can't afford everything she needs. It breaks my heart everytime I have to talk to my parents about it. I feel like I am the only one suggesting things to help her. Like I'm the only one who knows anything about whats actually going on in her head. I dont know what to do anymore. I can't make my mother help us. And I can't make my dad understand how Kim feels. I know that he does everything he knows how to, with her. But the fact that he doesnt understand it, and can't comprehend it doesn't do much for her living environment.
In other news I was reading my sister's journal (that she doesn't know I know about) and it moved me to see this written in it:
I havent updated in a while. I think I am not so good at this?? It is good therapy, though. I'm worried about my sister (the younger one). She just can't seem to get healthy. She told me last week that she has been going through a relapse.. I just wish she would talk to someone about this. It doesn't help being alone, and I know she feels entirely alone in everything she has gone through. It's hard for many people to realize how disabling depression can be. People throw the term around so loosely "oh I'm depressed", etc. But when you have that actual chemical imbalance, if you dont have the proper care or knowledge it can literally take over your life. Even when you know what you have, have medication, know everything there is to know about this. It can still be disabling... That's why I worry about my sister. I see her spiraling into this black hole so often. She becomes extremely depressed, won't talk to anyone, everyone is the enemy, and no one can help her. Her eating habits change, her demeanor completely changes... it's like she is pulled back from reality and can't see any further in front of her then this black hole of depression she gets in. I don't know how else to help her. Or how to help my parents to help her. Our family can't afford everything she needs. It breaks my heart everytime I have to talk to my parents about it. I feel like I am the only one suggesting things to help her. Like I'm the only one who knows anything about whats actually going on in her head. I dont know what to do anymore. I can't make my mother help us. And I can't make my dad understand how Kim feels. I know that he does everything he knows how to, with her. But the fact that he doesnt understand it, and can't comprehend it doesn't do much for her living environment.