when you wish upon a star...........you wish and wish and wish....and.....):
well theres alot of things im not too happy bout right now.one being that laci is leaning more towards moving to oregon with tony now....i dunno what im going to do if she leaves.i was so looking forward to getting out of my house soon and felt like it was going to help me move on passed any depression and stuff i was going through.shes been the only reason everything with ashley hasnt been as hard on me,otherwise id be going crazy.sucks i dont want her to leave and if she does ill be at home forever,having a new baby i cant afford to live alone and dont really have any close friends id consider living with that i know would help me out as much as she has nor do i have a boyfriend or care to have one at all right now.id prefer to have my life i had 6 months ago and for everything with me and ash to have worked out,to have moved out together and gotten married,the happy lil life i always thought id have,it sucks right now.on top of that im still jobless and looking everyday and trying to take care of my baby,laci helps when shes here but she works alot too.i cant start at west til the end of october.i dunno what im going to do.i want laci to do what makes her happy and tony seems to be a great guy and if i had a great guy and my best friend itd be hard on me too.either way ill be okay,it just sucks.soo many things havent worked in my favor lately.its depressing.if ash had never left things would be different.i was happy with him):we had lil arguments but nobodys perfect.ive pretended its all okay and im moving on but this time its been so much harder on me,and him having someone else is like throwing it all in my face and i did nothing wrong,i was just left out in the cold alone with nothing to warm my broken heart,and still nothing gives solace to these wounds.<3<3<3whats a girl to do when the stars no longer shine?