The Secrets of My Heart All Whisper Your Name
I wrote this in Bio class the other day cuz I wasn't paying attention and felt like writing something...It's pretty pathetic, but it's all stuff I needed to say and I can't say it to his face so why not post a blog about it? Like it or not, I don't care. It was mostly just written to help me cope.
Do you ever think...that we might still have something? Even after everything? Lately...I can't stop thinking about it. I was doing fine. I had accepted a life without you and I was happy. I should have known it wouldn't last, because it never does. Every time I start to move on, you come back to me. Like you can't stay away...like you can't live without me. Maybe you can't...because I know I can't live without you. I thought I could and I was trying, but now I know that I need you. I know the chemistry is there between us, I can feel it when we're together. I think you feel it, too, you just don't want to admit it. You hate conformity, and being with me would be conforming. Everyone expects us to be together. I think you secretly expect it, too, but again, you don't want to admit it. As if ignoring the existence of the spark between us will make it go away. It won't ever go away...no matter how much you want it to. You can ignore it and push it aside, but every time you see me, you'll remember what we had. You know we're supposed to be together. I know you do. You wouldn't fight so hard if you didn't. I can say I won't be here when you come back to me, when you're finally ready to be "us" again, but we all know I'm just patiently waiting for that day. I'm always going to be here...waiting. Waiting for the love of my life, my soul mate. I'll be right here...because I'll always love you...no matter what...I love you.
It's pretty short all typed up, but handwritten, it took up the entire front of a sheet of loose leaf paper. Well...that's all. My prerogative. It needed to be said. I don't feel that much better, but it helped a little. I can't ever say all this to him directly, so I'll settle for this. I guess I have to. Don't have much of a choice, do I? Oh well...
Do you ever think...that we might still have something? Even after everything? Lately...I can't stop thinking about it. I was doing fine. I had accepted a life without you and I was happy. I should have known it wouldn't last, because it never does. Every time I start to move on, you come back to me. Like you can't stay away...like you can't live without me. Maybe you can't...because I know I can't live without you. I thought I could and I was trying, but now I know that I need you. I know the chemistry is there between us, I can feel it when we're together. I think you feel it, too, you just don't want to admit it. You hate conformity, and being with me would be conforming. Everyone expects us to be together. I think you secretly expect it, too, but again, you don't want to admit it. As if ignoring the existence of the spark between us will make it go away. It won't ever go away...no matter how much you want it to. You can ignore it and push it aside, but every time you see me, you'll remember what we had. You know we're supposed to be together. I know you do. You wouldn't fight so hard if you didn't. I can say I won't be here when you come back to me, when you're finally ready to be "us" again, but we all know I'm just patiently waiting for that day. I'm always going to be here...waiting. Waiting for the love of my life, my soul mate. I'll be right here...because I'll always love you...no matter what...I love you.
It's pretty short all typed up, but handwritten, it took up the entire front of a sheet of loose leaf paper. Well...that's all. My prerogative. It needed to be said. I don't feel that much better, but it helped a little. I can't ever say all this to him directly, so I'll settle for this. I guess I have to. Don't have much of a choice, do I? Oh well...