This Tangled Shape (8/?)
Title: This Tangled Shape (8/?)
Author: Danse Amore
Wordcount: this part: 2,229, Overall: 16,746 so far.
Rating: R eventually
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Chris/Steve, Chad/Sophia, Sandy/??, Misha/OFC
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I don't make any money.
Warnings/Spoilers: Um, language, I guess? This part is a little heavy on Steve/Jason.
Summary: College AU. Jared meets a superhero, who turns out to be rockstar.
Steve swallowed. He raised a hand, lowered it again, and then raised it, knocking once, quickly.
Jason opened the door. He looked like hell, circles under his eyes, unshaven, but he was still impossibly beautiful. He stood, shocked for a moment, before his easy smile took over his face again, tinged with relief. "Steve."
Steve took a deep breath. "Jason. We...can I come in? We need to talk."
Jason's smile lessened somewhat, but Steve looked past him resolutely. He followed him into the living room, perching on the edge of the couch. Jason started to sit next to him, but thought better of it, taking a chair so that he wouldn't have to turn to see Steve's face.
Steve wiped a hand across his face. "I love you." He started, the words coming easily, familiar, well-worn. "God, Jason, I love you so much. I owe you so much." A small, wistful smile stretched his lips. "You were the one who...who when I first came here, taught me that people wanted to hear what I had to say, that I was interesting, that I could speak out about what I thought and not be afraid of what would happen next." He raised his eyes to Jason's face, his hands twisting. "You were the one that showed me I could sing. For the first time, I felt wanted. And then you showed me just how wanted, and opened up the world even more."
"Steve -"
He held up a hand, voice shaking. "Wait. Just...let me." He swallowed, and continued. "That's who you are, Jason. You take people in and you show them their strengths. You teach them to speak and to flirt and to fuck, and then you let them go. You're the most generous person I know, giving and giving and giving to anyone that needs to learn how to take. But I...I clung. I wanted more, and you couldn't...not without changing. And I don't want you to change, I really don't, because there are people out there that need this you, and - " He was crying by now, fuck, the ache in his throat making it hard to talk. "I don't want you to change. But I think we need to." He stared holes in the carpet. "I think I need to move on."
Jason drew him up and into a hug, and for a while Steve just cried into his shirt, letting out the anger and the guilt and the loss. They ended up back on the couch, Steve cradled against Jason, and he felt young, so young, turning to his best friend for emotional support, and so drained, too, because it didn't feel like that, really. None of it felt like it used to.
"I went to your party." He said after a while. "Didn't know why at the time, but I think it was to make sure you hadn't changed, that I hadn't ruined you. You weren't there."
"So you went home with another guy." There was barely any judgement in Jason's voice, but Steve could hear him fighting to keep it out, to keep it gentle. He drew back and looked at him.
"So I gave a ride to a friend of a friend and then went home, yes." He said levelly. It was the truth, after all, no matter how beautiful that friend-of-a-friend was, or that he'd spent several hours at the friend-of-a-friend's house, playing guitar and smoking pot and very delicately flirting.
Jason dropped his eyes. "Sorry. I just..."
"Yeah." Steve cleared his throat. "I should go." He felt it echo the same words, the night before, and tried not to think about how different they sounded.
Jason nodded, still not looking at him, his lips tight. Steve stood, and Jason stood with him, holding out his hand just as Steve went for a hug. After a moment of awkward silence, Jason let out a quick bark of laughter and leaned in abruptly, giving Steve a short but thorough kiss. His lips were as soft, his mouth as sweet as Steve remembered, but they both pulled away with bitter eyes, and Steve strode past him to the front door.
He slipped Jason's key onto the counter, and shut the door behind him.
**
"A show?" Sandy asked, sipping her beer. They sat at the bar where Chad worked, watching the pretty brunette he was currently hitting on roll her eyes.
"Yeah, Jensen's band. He and his friend Chris and someone named Misha."
"Uhuh." Sandy raised an eyebrow at him. "And you want me to come...why?"
"Moral support?" Jared tried, carefully not saying because there's a girl I want you to meet so that I can get you to tell her your secrets so that maybe then you'll be ready to tell them to me because...well, that just sounded creepy now that he phrased it that way.
Sandy looked at him. "Jared, it's a show. You're not even going to have to talk to him. And besides, you're already good at that, right? You talked for hours today! And he gave you his phone number. You don't need moral support."
"He said it was for Steve." Jared muttered, sipping his beer. "And I will need moral support, because he'll be surrounded by adoring fans and people willing to throw themselves at him and why would he notice me in all of that?"
"Uh, because he likes you? And you're saying you're not willing to throw yourself at him?" Sandy's smirk made his blush spread.
"Shut up! It's not - I'm not - Shut up."
Sandy laughed at him, and he scowled back, until their attention was caught by a yelp from the end of the bar.
"Sophia!" Yelled Chad, rubbing his ass. The brunette (apparently Sophia) grinned hugely and waved to Jared and Sandy.
"Wait, that's Sophia Bush?" Jared asked, frowning a little. "The Sophia Bush that Chad has...already slept with."
Sandy narrowed her eyes. "And they're still flirting. And besides a few slaps, she hasn't beaten him up yet."
They exchanged looks. "Now that's just weird."
They kept watching as Chad turned to Sophia, who raised her eyebrows at him. He was about to say something when Jim, his boss, put a hand on his shoulder. His face was thunderous, and Chad sighed. He set Sophia's drink down on the counter and followed his boss.
"Uh oh." Said Sandy, and Jared had to agree. Chad didn't have the best work ethic in the world, and they were all pretty impressed by how long he'd held this job. Even Sophia's grin had faded, leaving her looking concerned and maybe a little guilty.
Chad came back a worryingly short time later, stripped off his apron, and stormed out of the room. Sophia slid halfway from her seat as if to follow, then sat back up, the guilt in her face deepening.
Jared got up and made his way over to her. "Hey." He said. "Don't worry about it. All you did was respond to his constant flirting, which he's not at all used to, and maybe he got distracted a bit. But it's Chad, he'd get distracted anyway. Over, like, pretty much anything. So it wasn't you. Not that you're not distracting, it's just - "
Sandy cut in. "What the babbling idiot here is trying to say is that he would have gotten fired anyway, and that he'll get over it."
Jared nodded. "He'd probably not even mad at you, just frustrated with himself. He hasn't had much luck with employment lately."
Sandy smiled. "So definitely don't take it personally, and don't let it stop you from wanting to spend time with him. He's still flirting with you the morning after, so he definitely enjoys your company."
Sophia looked from one to the other of them, and then burst out laughing. "Y'all are adorable." She grinned. "Do you tag team all the depressed girlfriends he leaves behind? Or do I get special treatment? Kind of the perfect team - hot guy, gay so as not to be a rebound, and pretty girl in case I need a shoulder to cry on and a pint of ice cream."
Sandy grinned back. "I don't have my backpack full of emergency chocolate today, sorry, but let me know if you're ever in dire need. I'll be there."
Jared, however, was scowling. "Do I, like, exude flowery scents or something? Why does everyone instinctively know I'm gay?"
Sophia shrugged and sipped her drink. "Chad told me last night. Told me quite a bit about both of you, actually."
Jared's eyebrows flew up. "He talked about us?"
Sandy grimaced. "Was this...before or after the drunken sex?"
"Oh, we didn't have sex. Not last night, anyway."
There was a moment of silence as Jared and Sandy considered this. Finally Sandy ventured, "I guess I understand if you weren't willing, he's sometimes kind of a douchebag, but..."
"Oh hell, girl, I was willing. Have you seen the ass on that boy? And at first he was all over me, seemed to know exactly what he was doing with those clever hands of his. But he was drunk and I was drunk and somehow we ended up just laying there together, talking. Talked for hours, really. He's got depth, Chad. Some good ideas."
Jared's mouth hung open a little. Depth? Chad?
He looked at Sandy to find Sandy staring back, the same sort of incredulity in her eyes. They shook their heads at each other and he knew that they'd been right. This was really fucking weird.
Sophia's eyes grew distant, and a wicked smirk curved her lips. "Well, and then we had sex. A lot of sex. Mmm." She shook herself out of it. "But that was this morning, technically, and by then I knew all about you two. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be going after him? He needs you much more than I do, for certain, and I'm sure you'll need some time to reconcile the fact that Chad Michael-Murray actually had an intelligent conversation with someone with boobs." She waved them off. "Bye, now!"
They left, sort of stunned.
"I like her." Said Sandy after a moment. "Better yet, apparently Chad likes her."
"I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that Chad Michael-Murray had an intelligent conversation," replied Jared, but he was grinning. It was about time Chad actually found someone he actually liked and wanted to have sex with.
They found him outside, leaning against the wall, brooding, a cigarette between his lips. Jared scowled. "Thought you quit."
"Nah, didn't you hear, dude? I was fired." Chad replied bitterly, but he ground out the cig under his shoe anyway.
"Sorry." Sandy said softly, and hugged him around the waist.
He petted her hair and sighed. "Yeah. Well, whatever, right? There are other jobs. Somewhere."
Jared leaned up against the wall next to him. "We met Sophia." He said, and watched Chad's face brighten. "I like her."
"Me too." Sandy announced, still clinging to Chad's waist.
"Right? She's fantastic." Chad got a dreamy look in his eye. "Dude. Have you seen her tits?"
Jared laughed and laughed, the brick of the wall digging into his back, and Sandy laughed with him.
"Oh, hey, Sand." He said, remembering. "You have Steve's cell?"
"Yeah, why?" She released Chad, who proceeded to light another cig and stare at the sky.
"Gimme your phone."
She did so, and he punched in the number for Jensen's phone, with a text -
jensen says to call. smthing about band. ~jared
He hit "send" and leaned back again, closing his eyes and listening to the wind.
**
Chris sighed, the guitar feeling dead in his hands. He hadn't slept well, the night before, and his throat hurt from muttering to himself. No matter what he did, the words for the new song wouldn't come. Maybe they were Steve's, but it felt...it felt like he could almost get them, like they were just out of reach.
He was lying on the floor of their apartment, entirely upside-down with his legs up the wall. His hair was splayed around him, and he was frowning at the ceiling.
Jensen's cell rang, and Chris watched as he glanced at it and grinned. He flipped it open. "Jared?" He asked, and then his smile faded a little. "Oh, hey, Steve."
Chris sat up.
"What? Shut up, your mom's a teenage girl. Anyway - yeah, listen. Chris was really impressed with your guitar playing, last night, and we've been looking for a second guitarist since our last one moved away, and I was wondering - well, we were wondering whether you'd like to come in for a formal audition. Me, Chris and Misha, our drummer."
There was a long pause. Chris frowned.
"Steve? You still there? Oh. Oh man, I'm sorry, but his loss, our gain, right? Yeah. That'd be great. Chris is right here, you want to - no? Okay. I will. Yeah, thanks." he hung up, and turned to Chris. "He's in. Tomorrow, in fact."
"He didn't want to talk to me." Chris said, voice flat.
Jensen shook his head. "No. But he said...well, he finally really broke it off with Jason, and he said to tell you thank you."
Chris blinked. "For what?"
Jensen shrugged. "Dunno. Just thank you...and that he wants to hear the words, whatever that means."
Chris smiled and slipped the notebook from his pocket. "You're welcome." He said softly, and began to write.
Author: Danse Amore
Wordcount: this part: 2,229, Overall: 16,746 so far.
Rating: R eventually
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Chris/Steve, Chad/Sophia, Sandy/??, Misha/OFC
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I don't make any money.
Warnings/Spoilers: Um, language, I guess? This part is a little heavy on Steve/Jason.
Summary: College AU. Jared meets a superhero, who turns out to be rockstar.
Steve swallowed. He raised a hand, lowered it again, and then raised it, knocking once, quickly.
Jason opened the door. He looked like hell, circles under his eyes, unshaven, but he was still impossibly beautiful. He stood, shocked for a moment, before his easy smile took over his face again, tinged with relief. "Steve."
Steve took a deep breath. "Jason. We...can I come in? We need to talk."
Jason's smile lessened somewhat, but Steve looked past him resolutely. He followed him into the living room, perching on the edge of the couch. Jason started to sit next to him, but thought better of it, taking a chair so that he wouldn't have to turn to see Steve's face.
Steve wiped a hand across his face. "I love you." He started, the words coming easily, familiar, well-worn. "God, Jason, I love you so much. I owe you so much." A small, wistful smile stretched his lips. "You were the one who...who when I first came here, taught me that people wanted to hear what I had to say, that I was interesting, that I could speak out about what I thought and not be afraid of what would happen next." He raised his eyes to Jason's face, his hands twisting. "You were the one that showed me I could sing. For the first time, I felt wanted. And then you showed me just how wanted, and opened up the world even more."
"Steve -"
He held up a hand, voice shaking. "Wait. Just...let me." He swallowed, and continued. "That's who you are, Jason. You take people in and you show them their strengths. You teach them to speak and to flirt and to fuck, and then you let them go. You're the most generous person I know, giving and giving and giving to anyone that needs to learn how to take. But I...I clung. I wanted more, and you couldn't...not without changing. And I don't want you to change, I really don't, because there are people out there that need this you, and - " He was crying by now, fuck, the ache in his throat making it hard to talk. "I don't want you to change. But I think we need to." He stared holes in the carpet. "I think I need to move on."
Jason drew him up and into a hug, and for a while Steve just cried into his shirt, letting out the anger and the guilt and the loss. They ended up back on the couch, Steve cradled against Jason, and he felt young, so young, turning to his best friend for emotional support, and so drained, too, because it didn't feel like that, really. None of it felt like it used to.
"I went to your party." He said after a while. "Didn't know why at the time, but I think it was to make sure you hadn't changed, that I hadn't ruined you. You weren't there."
"So you went home with another guy." There was barely any judgement in Jason's voice, but Steve could hear him fighting to keep it out, to keep it gentle. He drew back and looked at him.
"So I gave a ride to a friend of a friend and then went home, yes." He said levelly. It was the truth, after all, no matter how beautiful that friend-of-a-friend was, or that he'd spent several hours at the friend-of-a-friend's house, playing guitar and smoking pot and very delicately flirting.
Jason dropped his eyes. "Sorry. I just..."
"Yeah." Steve cleared his throat. "I should go." He felt it echo the same words, the night before, and tried not to think about how different they sounded.
Jason nodded, still not looking at him, his lips tight. Steve stood, and Jason stood with him, holding out his hand just as Steve went for a hug. After a moment of awkward silence, Jason let out a quick bark of laughter and leaned in abruptly, giving Steve a short but thorough kiss. His lips were as soft, his mouth as sweet as Steve remembered, but they both pulled away with bitter eyes, and Steve strode past him to the front door.
He slipped Jason's key onto the counter, and shut the door behind him.
**
"A show?" Sandy asked, sipping her beer. They sat at the bar where Chad worked, watching the pretty brunette he was currently hitting on roll her eyes.
"Yeah, Jensen's band. He and his friend Chris and someone named Misha."
"Uhuh." Sandy raised an eyebrow at him. "And you want me to come...why?"
"Moral support?" Jared tried, carefully not saying because there's a girl I want you to meet so that I can get you to tell her your secrets so that maybe then you'll be ready to tell them to me because...well, that just sounded creepy now that he phrased it that way.
Sandy looked at him. "Jared, it's a show. You're not even going to have to talk to him. And besides, you're already good at that, right? You talked for hours today! And he gave you his phone number. You don't need moral support."
"He said it was for Steve." Jared muttered, sipping his beer. "And I will need moral support, because he'll be surrounded by adoring fans and people willing to throw themselves at him and why would he notice me in all of that?"
"Uh, because he likes you? And you're saying you're not willing to throw yourself at him?" Sandy's smirk made his blush spread.
"Shut up! It's not - I'm not - Shut up."
Sandy laughed at him, and he scowled back, until their attention was caught by a yelp from the end of the bar.
"Sophia!" Yelled Chad, rubbing his ass. The brunette (apparently Sophia) grinned hugely and waved to Jared and Sandy.
"Wait, that's Sophia Bush?" Jared asked, frowning a little. "The Sophia Bush that Chad has...already slept with."
Sandy narrowed her eyes. "And they're still flirting. And besides a few slaps, she hasn't beaten him up yet."
They exchanged looks. "Now that's just weird."
They kept watching as Chad turned to Sophia, who raised her eyebrows at him. He was about to say something when Jim, his boss, put a hand on his shoulder. His face was thunderous, and Chad sighed. He set Sophia's drink down on the counter and followed his boss.
"Uh oh." Said Sandy, and Jared had to agree. Chad didn't have the best work ethic in the world, and they were all pretty impressed by how long he'd held this job. Even Sophia's grin had faded, leaving her looking concerned and maybe a little guilty.
Chad came back a worryingly short time later, stripped off his apron, and stormed out of the room. Sophia slid halfway from her seat as if to follow, then sat back up, the guilt in her face deepening.
Jared got up and made his way over to her. "Hey." He said. "Don't worry about it. All you did was respond to his constant flirting, which he's not at all used to, and maybe he got distracted a bit. But it's Chad, he'd get distracted anyway. Over, like, pretty much anything. So it wasn't you. Not that you're not distracting, it's just - "
Sandy cut in. "What the babbling idiot here is trying to say is that he would have gotten fired anyway, and that he'll get over it."
Jared nodded. "He'd probably not even mad at you, just frustrated with himself. He hasn't had much luck with employment lately."
Sandy smiled. "So definitely don't take it personally, and don't let it stop you from wanting to spend time with him. He's still flirting with you the morning after, so he definitely enjoys your company."
Sophia looked from one to the other of them, and then burst out laughing. "Y'all are adorable." She grinned. "Do you tag team all the depressed girlfriends he leaves behind? Or do I get special treatment? Kind of the perfect team - hot guy, gay so as not to be a rebound, and pretty girl in case I need a shoulder to cry on and a pint of ice cream."
Sandy grinned back. "I don't have my backpack full of emergency chocolate today, sorry, but let me know if you're ever in dire need. I'll be there."
Jared, however, was scowling. "Do I, like, exude flowery scents or something? Why does everyone instinctively know I'm gay?"
Sophia shrugged and sipped her drink. "Chad told me last night. Told me quite a bit about both of you, actually."
Jared's eyebrows flew up. "He talked about us?"
Sandy grimaced. "Was this...before or after the drunken sex?"
"Oh, we didn't have sex. Not last night, anyway."
There was a moment of silence as Jared and Sandy considered this. Finally Sandy ventured, "I guess I understand if you weren't willing, he's sometimes kind of a douchebag, but..."
"Oh hell, girl, I was willing. Have you seen the ass on that boy? And at first he was all over me, seemed to know exactly what he was doing with those clever hands of his. But he was drunk and I was drunk and somehow we ended up just laying there together, talking. Talked for hours, really. He's got depth, Chad. Some good ideas."
Jared's mouth hung open a little. Depth? Chad?
He looked at Sandy to find Sandy staring back, the same sort of incredulity in her eyes. They shook their heads at each other and he knew that they'd been right. This was really fucking weird.
Sophia's eyes grew distant, and a wicked smirk curved her lips. "Well, and then we had sex. A lot of sex. Mmm." She shook herself out of it. "But that was this morning, technically, and by then I knew all about you two. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be going after him? He needs you much more than I do, for certain, and I'm sure you'll need some time to reconcile the fact that Chad Michael-Murray actually had an intelligent conversation with someone with boobs." She waved them off. "Bye, now!"
They left, sort of stunned.
"I like her." Said Sandy after a moment. "Better yet, apparently Chad likes her."
"I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that Chad Michael-Murray had an intelligent conversation," replied Jared, but he was grinning. It was about time Chad actually found someone he actually liked and wanted to have sex with.
They found him outside, leaning against the wall, brooding, a cigarette between his lips. Jared scowled. "Thought you quit."
"Nah, didn't you hear, dude? I was fired." Chad replied bitterly, but he ground out the cig under his shoe anyway.
"Sorry." Sandy said softly, and hugged him around the waist.
He petted her hair and sighed. "Yeah. Well, whatever, right? There are other jobs. Somewhere."
Jared leaned up against the wall next to him. "We met Sophia." He said, and watched Chad's face brighten. "I like her."
"Me too." Sandy announced, still clinging to Chad's waist.
"Right? She's fantastic." Chad got a dreamy look in his eye. "Dude. Have you seen her tits?"
Jared laughed and laughed, the brick of the wall digging into his back, and Sandy laughed with him.
"Oh, hey, Sand." He said, remembering. "You have Steve's cell?"
"Yeah, why?" She released Chad, who proceeded to light another cig and stare at the sky.
"Gimme your phone."
She did so, and he punched in the number for Jensen's phone, with a text -
jensen says to call. smthing about band. ~jared
He hit "send" and leaned back again, closing his eyes and listening to the wind.
**
Chris sighed, the guitar feeling dead in his hands. He hadn't slept well, the night before, and his throat hurt from muttering to himself. No matter what he did, the words for the new song wouldn't come. Maybe they were Steve's, but it felt...it felt like he could almost get them, like they were just out of reach.
He was lying on the floor of their apartment, entirely upside-down with his legs up the wall. His hair was splayed around him, and he was frowning at the ceiling.
Jensen's cell rang, and Chris watched as he glanced at it and grinned. He flipped it open. "Jared?" He asked, and then his smile faded a little. "Oh, hey, Steve."
Chris sat up.
"What? Shut up, your mom's a teenage girl. Anyway - yeah, listen. Chris was really impressed with your guitar playing, last night, and we've been looking for a second guitarist since our last one moved away, and I was wondering - well, we were wondering whether you'd like to come in for a formal audition. Me, Chris and Misha, our drummer."
There was a long pause. Chris frowned.
"Steve? You still there? Oh. Oh man, I'm sorry, but his loss, our gain, right? Yeah. That'd be great. Chris is right here, you want to - no? Okay. I will. Yeah, thanks." he hung up, and turned to Chris. "He's in. Tomorrow, in fact."
"He didn't want to talk to me." Chris said, voice flat.
Jensen shook his head. "No. But he said...well, he finally really broke it off with Jason, and he said to tell you thank you."
Chris blinked. "For what?"
Jensen shrugged. "Dunno. Just thank you...and that he wants to hear the words, whatever that means."
Chris smiled and slipped the notebook from his pocket. "You're welcome." He said softly, and began to write.