FIC: A Weird Love Affair
Title: A Weird Love Affair
Author: SP
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything.
Rating: PG
Summary: It started out as just a normal person-to-pillow relationship. But all too soon it became a weird love affair.
Author's Notes: Very, very, VERY cracktastic. So cracktastic that I need a Josh/Mr. Puff-Puff tag.
When Josh Nichols was fifteen years old, he acquired two things. One, a new stepbrother. Two, a new pillow.
For awhile, the stepbrother--Drake Parker--was more important than the pillow (Even though he named the pillow--Mr. Puff-Puff). But soon, the two grew to be of equal importance to Josh. And then, the pillow became more important. He didn’t know when it happened…or how…or why…and he didn’t really spend too much time trying to figure it out, either. He just went with it.
For once, he followed Drake’s philosophy instead of his own. “Don’t question it, just love it.”
So he did. Love it, that is. His pillow. Mr. Puff-Puff.
It started out as just a normal person-to-pillow relationship. But all too soon it became a weird love affair.
Josh knew it was kind of crazy, to be in love with a pillow. But he could have sworn that Mr. Puff-Puff loved him back. After all, he always gave Josh a perfect night’s sleep. Josh never woke up with neck pain, shoulder pain or back pain when he used Mr. Puff-Puff. But if he slept somewhere else and forgot Mr. Puff-Puff at home, or if he fell asleep on the couch with Drake cuddled up next to him, then inevitably, he’d wake up with neck pain, shoulder pain, back pain or all of the above pain. Mr. Puff-Puff prevented that. So Josh knew (thought, prayed, hoped) it was love.
Now, most people would assume that it was a just a really good pillow, and that anyone who used it would wake up feeling refreshed and pain-free. But Josh knew better. The Halloween that Josh had spent locked in the closet, Drake stole Mr. Puff-Puff. When he woke up the next morning, he complained to Josh, “I don’t see what’s so special about that pillow, anyway. I woke up and my neck was killing me.”
Josh just smirked to himself. He knew it. Mr. Puff-Puff did love him back.
Slowly though, Josh and Mr. Puff-Puff’s relationship changed. Josh started taking Mr. Puff-Puff for granted again. At first, he was overjoyed to have a pillow that didn’t make him uncomfortable. But soon, he just thought of Mr. Puff-Puff as one of his pillows. Granted, his favorite pillow, and the only one with a name. But it was just a pillow after all.
He would always have a place in Josh’s heart, but not the top place. Maybe a place close to the bottom. Because Drake and Mr. Puff-Puff’s respective relationships to Josh had shifted again Drake was the more important of the two once more. They’d started off as strangers, then become brothers and finally become friends.
And now they were something totally different. Josh knew that he was basically cheating on Mr. Puff-Puff (after all, he hadn’t told him it was over). But Josh didn’t know how else to handle it. And he certainly couldn’t share his worries with Drake, because, “I’m sorry, but we can’t do this anymore because of Mr. Puff-Puff,”? No, that just wouldn’t work.
Now, Josh thought that Mr. Puff-Puff was just a pillow. A very special pillow, but a pillow nonetheless. And even though he somehow managed to love Josh, he couldn’t really be aware. Come on. But unbeknownst to Josh, Mr. Puff-Puff was very much aware.
He put up with Josh’s trysts with Drake because it make Josh happy. He delighted in making Josh comfortable at night and took a secret masochistic pleasure in making other people hurt.
But soon, Josh started sleeping with Drake more and more often, and not with Mr. Puff-Puff. It would have made more sense for Drake to sleep with Josh in his bed, since it was bigger, but in Drake’s smaller bed, the two boys could cuddle more. And Josh was above all, a big cuddler.
So for days at a time, Mr. Puff-Puff was alone at night, with only the other (regular, unspecial) pillows and the blankets to keep him company. Stupid Drake, taking his Josh away from him, making Josh love Drake instead of him. And stupid josh for falling for Drake in the first place.
Finally, Mr. Puff-Puff had had enough. He left Josh’s bed forever.
Josh was upset for awhile. He mourned the loss of his special pillow, and of his wonderful nights’ sleep. But at the same time, he couldn’t be too upset.
After all, he still had Drake.