BACK TO DA BAFFROOM!
Goin' into bathrooms, listenin' to bitches, that's just what I dooooooooo! It's been a good long time since I wormed my way around the scummy depths of our fair city's restrooms. BUT THE TIME IS NIGH!!! This time I decided to change it up though. We all know that the women in this city are nuts, but what about the men? So I grabbed my tape recorder and headed for the filthiest place on god's wretched planet. THE MEN'S ROOM. What would the fraternity morons who patronize the clubs of Pittsburgh PA say when they thought they were alone with a friend. Watch and learn little tadpoles, this shit just might get interesting.
Bathroom 1
Mike: Yo this bitch is so into me. I think tonight just might be pussy night!
Joey: Mike I'm in love with you.
MIke: Tonight just might be dick night!
Joey: Dude, I was just kidding
At this point Mike shoots Joey and then himself. The cops rush into the bathroom and I am arrested for the double homicide. That night was most assuredly dick night for me. 27 dick night.
Bathroom 2
Larry: Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeawwwwwwwwwww I just got a blowjob from that hot blonde girl in the back of the bar.
Dave: You mean Lisa?
Larry: Yeah, she sucks dick like a leprechaun on All Saints Day.
Dave: She also has a horrific case of gingivitus.
Larry: Yeah, so?
Dave: And AIDS.
At this point Larry runs out to the club and shoots Lisa then himself. Somehow I am blamed for the double homicide and sent to prison where I am raped like a raped thing. The next day I test positive for AIDS...
and gingivitis.
Bathroom 3
Jamook: I am the ham king!!!! I have the cum in my belly and the dream in my heart! Why don't anyone in this bar give Jamook the love of a lifetime?
Danpanik: Get out of here dude, I'm trying to record dudes while they shit.
Jamook: ANGRY!!! I have this spear. You are to die tonight.
At this point Jamook shove the spear into my chest. Then he shoots himself. I am subsequently arrested for the double homicide of Jamook and myself. While being the object of a bukkake competition in prison I vow to stay out men's bathrooms for the rest of my days. Which are none as I am dead from a spear death. This is officially the worst thing I've ever written. Fuck you all.PANIK
Bathroom 1
Mike: Yo this bitch is so into me. I think tonight just might be pussy night!
Joey: Mike I'm in love with you.
MIke: Tonight just might be dick night!
Joey: Dude, I was just kidding
At this point Mike shoots Joey and then himself. The cops rush into the bathroom and I am arrested for the double homicide. That night was most assuredly dick night for me. 27 dick night.
Bathroom 2
Larry: Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeawwwwwwwwwww I just got a blowjob from that hot blonde girl in the back of the bar.
Dave: You mean Lisa?
Larry: Yeah, she sucks dick like a leprechaun on All Saints Day.
Dave: She also has a horrific case of gingivitus.
Larry: Yeah, so?
Dave: And AIDS.
At this point Larry runs out to the club and shoots Lisa then himself. Somehow I am blamed for the double homicide and sent to prison where I am raped like a raped thing. The next day I test positive for AIDS...
and gingivitis.
Bathroom 3
Jamook: I am the ham king!!!! I have the cum in my belly and the dream in my heart! Why don't anyone in this bar give Jamook the love of a lifetime?
Danpanik: Get out of here dude, I'm trying to record dudes while they shit.
Jamook: ANGRY!!! I have this spear. You are to die tonight.
At this point Jamook shove the spear into my chest. Then he shoots himself. I am subsequently arrested for the double homicide of Jamook and myself. While being the object of a bukkake competition in prison I vow to stay out men's bathrooms for the rest of my days. Which are none as I am dead from a spear death. This is officially the worst thing I've ever written. Fuck you all.PANIK